APP Reflections

2011-03-04T01:34:00.003+05:30

Achieve Happiness through Silence and Reflection

by Carol Giannantonio

The answers we so desperately seek, the decisions we find so hard to make can all become clear and easy by practicing moments of silence and reflection.

The ability to make wise decisions and the ability to quickly effective solutions to problems are them in business, relationships, health or live in general are key traits of smart leaders and successful people.

Using reflection to still your minds and tap into your inner energy will bring you answers to many of your questions. Your feelings and emotions are the access points to your inner mind-your inner energy.

To get in touch with your feelings and emotions you must practice silence and reflection on a regular basis. People who practice it correctly and on a regular basis are amazed at the difference it makes in their lives.

Can you remember the last time you stopped for a moment and reflected on what is going on in and around you? We are always so busy being busy. Most of us never make the time to simply sit, and do nothing. We just can't seem to find the time to experience the silence of solitude.

Silence requires that you sit quietly, perfectly still, back and head erect, eyes open, without any interruptions whatsoever for at least 30 minutes. An hour is better.

Give it a try. Stop for a moment, find a place you feel comfortable, secure and free from interruptions. Allow your body to become completely relaxed, and breathe deeply. Just let your mind flow. Don't think about ANYTHING.

After 20 or 25 minutes, you'll begin to feel deeply relaxed. You'll begin to experience a flow of energy coming into your mind and body. You'll have a tremendous sense of well-being. Your mind will be filled with a sense of peace and calm. Your job is just to relax and listen to your inner voice.

At a certain stage during your period of silence, the answers to the most pressing difficulties facing you will emerge quietly and clearly. It will feel so perfect that you'll experience a sigh of relief. You will feel like 100 lbs of weight have dropped from your shoulders. You will feel free, happy, content and secure.

This is the release of confusion, tension, anxiety and frustration you have been holding within. You will experience a deep sense of gratitude and contentment. While you're sitting there, the light bulb will go on; your mind will be filled with the excitement of new ideas. You will feel a rush of adrenaline go through your body, much like the feeling you get after a good work out.

This is what is called "insight." Insights are very powerful because they stimulate the brain to think and take action.

The answers will all become very clear. What a wonderful feeling. It's like a bird being let loose from a cage to soar free in the sky.

When you emerge from this period of quiet, take action do exactly what has come to you. It may involve dealing with a human situation, starting something or quitting something. Whatever it is, when you follow the guidance received in periods of silence it will turn out to be exactly the right thing to do. Infact, it usually works out far better than you could have imagined. Trust yourself and your inner voices.

Give it a try and see for yourself the amazing power of silence and reflection. Develop the habit of listening to yourself and then acting on the guidance you receive. This is the path to happiness, and the connection to your soul.

About Carol Giannantonio
Carol is a certified Life, Business, Career and Wellness Coach. Carol's Brain based coaching techniques help clients clarify what's really important to them, set meaingful goals, tap into their energy, take action and quickly achieve the results they are looking for. Carol's passion,wisdom and intuitive nature combined with her motivating and compassionate personality provide clients with an enriching coaching experience. If your ready to get unstuck and get going to where you want to be- Carol's the Coach to get you there. Contact her for a free consult at carolgcoach@aol.com

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2011-03-04T01:26:00.003+05:30

Creating Love in Your Life

by Carol Giannantonio

February is here. It's an action packed month even though it's one of the shortest month of the year. For many of us it brings cold snowy days, frigid air, completing our tax return and maybe a vacation to a warmer climate. It's the month of Super Bowl Sunday, Ground Hog Day, Presidents Day, the start of the lenten season for some of us and Valentines Day!

Some of us enjoy Valentines Day and others become sad and depressed on this day. They actually dread the arrival of Valentines Day. But that need not be the case if you look at Valentines Day as a time for loving and honoring yourself and those around you.

YOU are the only person who can create love in your life. Creating love in your life starts with self love- loving and nurturing your mind, body and soul.

Here are a few strategies I use in my coaching to help clients create love in their life. They work! Give it a try- see for yourself. Feel free to let me know how you do.

1. Respect and nurture yourself with love and kindness.

2. Be grateful for all you have and who you are. Celebrate you!

3. Make time for YOU. Do things you love! Have fun, laugh, smile-enjoy the moment.Acknowledge your accomplishments. Show acts of kindness to yourself and to those around you.

4. Practice love and kindness by giving back to others and your community.This will fill your heart with an abundance of warmth and love. It will ease feelings of loneliness.

5. Get in touch with your essence- your soul and spirit. You will be amazed how it fills your heart with love, security, inner peace and happiness.

To sum it all up- Loving and honoring YOU creates love in your life. When we love and respect ourselves, we become magnetic. Like a magnet, we attract love,loving people and positive energy.

Within each of us is a loving, kind, gentle soul. This is our true self, our essence. Once you have connected with your soul, you have not only created love in our life, you have reached new levels of awareness, inner peace and happiness.

Now go create some love in your life. You deserve it!

About Carol Giannantonio
Carol is a certified Life, Business, Career and Wellness Coach. Carol's Brain based coaching techniques help clients clarify what's really important to them, set meaingful goals, tap into their energy, take action and quickly achieve the results they are looking for. Carol's passion,wisdom and intuitive nature combined with her motivating and compassionate personality provide clients with an enriching coaching experience. If your ready to get unstuck and get going to where you want to be- Carol's the Coach to get you there. Contact her for a free consult at carolgcoach@aol.com

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2011-03-04T01:17:00.003+05:30

The Art of Making Time for Yourself

by Carol Giannantonio

Making time for you is an art, and like every art, it requires practice. You deserve to live your life exactly the way you want. Don't let others determine the quality of your life -- take charge of creating a life that matters to you! That starts with making time for you.Many of us feel guilty and selfish making time for ourselves. Surprise my friends it's selfish not to spend time with you.
When you embrace new thinking and take new actions to care for you, the reward is increased happiness and empowerment. We actually become more positive, have more energy, accomplish more and become more generous.

Take time away from your normal routine- spend a day with YOU, take a weekend getaway or a vacation. If you don't take time to rest and rejuvenate, eventually you won't have a self to worry about.

Here are twelve self-nurturing activities that can easily fit into your schedule. The rewards of making time for you outweigh the pitfalls of not making time for you.

1. Write in Your Journal-Start a Gratitude Journal. Write at least 3 things in your journal every day that you are thankful for. This creates a positive energy and gratitude which keeps you motivated, happy and energized. It gives you a clear picture of all the good things you have in life.

2. Dance. Dance, move your body, do your thing, be free, release the stress and have fun! Try this anytime you need a quick attitude change. Shut the blinds. Take off your shoes. Put on your favorite dance music and boogie. You'll emerge ready for anything! Try it - it feels great!

3. Have Lunch with a Friend and a take walk. What could be better than catching up with a friend? Take time to enjoy the people in your life. Enrich, and create friendships. And don't forget the walk. Walking is invigorating.It clarifies your thinking plus its fun and good exercise.

4. Make a "Treasure Map" Collage, "Creative Visualization," "A treasure map is an actual, physical picture of your desired reality". It's so valuable because it forms a clear sharp vision of what you want. It helps you attract and focus energy into your goal. If you really want that raise, or new home, get out your scissors, old magazines, and glue. Create your dream on paper first.
The experience itself is fun. Hang it in a place that you will be sure to see daily.

5. Start planning your next Vacation. Nothing beats browsing the bookstore or library to get ideas for future vacations. Try something new-an African Safari, Sailing the Greek Isles, Rock Climbing, snorkeling, and swimming with the dolphins. Dare to be different!

6. Write a letter to a Friend. When you write by hand, it's special. Take your time, speak from your heart and rediscover forgotten parts of yourself that your faithful friend always remembers.

7. Take up a new activity- Dancing, Singing, Swimming, hiking-do what your love! Involve yourself in a new and different activity. One you enjoy and always wanted to do. Go for it. You will feel free, happy and even a more self confident.

8. Get a Massage. Treat yourself to a relaxing massage. Make time for a ten-minute hot tub or steam bath. It increases the overall relaxation effect. You'll leave relaxed and rejuvenated. I do this at least once a month. When I leave, I feel like I'm floating on air surrounded by tons of positive energy. When I get home, I take a bubble bath with exotic oils, light some candles and play relaxing music. Now, what can be better than that! It's taking care of me and notice the change in your mood and attitude. Awesome!

9. Meditate and BreatheIn the west, meditation can be walking, writing or even dancing. Check out the book, "Meditation Made Easy" by Lorin Roche or the CD by Andrew Wile "Breathing" You'll discover a new sense of peace and balance. It's a great stress buster.

10. Visit an Art Gallery or MuseumTake an hour to wander, soaking in the energy and appreciation of other people's genius. Focus intently on your surroundings and practice mindfulness. It's rewarding, peaceful and adds balance and harmony to your life.

11. ExerciseRegular workouts at the gym, home or office is sound advice for everyone, but especially for executives whose jobs require long periods sitting at a desk. Exercise by doing what you love- walking, running, biking, hiking, swimming, stretching, maybe yoga. They are all healthy ways of making time for you-caring for your mind, body and soul.

12. Get the support you need. Working with a Life Coach or support group is vital when you need extra help. Whether you are trying to quit a bad habit, grieving the loss of a loved one, starting a new career; managing your time better or other personal goals. Support is your key to success!

Enjoy every moment of each experience. Celebrate your success. Now-take out your calendar and schedule some fun for you!

About Carol Giannantonio
Carol is a certified Life, Business, Career and Wellness Coach. Carol's Brain based coaching techniques help clients clarify what's really important to them, set meaingful goals, tap into their energy, take action and quickly achieve the results they are looking for. Carol's passion,wisdom and intuitive nature combined with her motivating and compassionate personality provide clients with an enriching coaching experience. If your ready to get unstuck and get going to where you want to be- Carol's the Coach to get you there. Contact her for a free consult at carolgcoach@aol.com

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2011-03-04T01:09:00.002+05:30

A HIGER LEVEL OF HAPPINESS

by Carol Giannantonio

Are you happy? Big question and the answer to that question is based on your view of happiness. Some of us associate happiness with reaching a career or financial goal, living in a prestigious neighborhood, driving a fancy car, or taking lavish vacations. The list of material things can go on and on. These are material achievements.

Once achieved the feeling of happiness is short lived. Some of us continue in the same maze- wanting more material things thirsting for happiness. If this is path you are on or the maze you are in, it will never bring you inner peace and a higher level happiness every day of your life.

Our minds and body can only take us so far. Our spirit can lead us all the way home and that is where the true happiness lies. The great thing about life is that it is not so much where we are standing; it's in what direction we are moving.

Take a moment of silence, hear the quiet and look at the direction you are going. Think about the journey you are on. Is it where you want to be. If not make the changes you need to find happiness. Ture Happiness is in the journey, not the destination.

Here are some questions to ask yourself to get unstuck and started on your journey to a higher level happiness and your higher self. For your higher self is who you really are.

You will find your higher self and happiness by looking into your heart and soul and listening to what it is saying. For there lies your answer to who you really are. Yes it takes courage to do this, but the risk you take brings the best reward- happiness.

Here are some questions your can ask yourself to get you started on finding a higher level of happiness and your true self.

Points to Ponder:

1 Are you embracing life and celebrating the future?

2. Do you feel connected with the universe and on the path to your higher self? The real voyage of discovery, success and happiness consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.

3. Where do you stand? It is not so much where you stand, it is in the direction you are going. You are the navigator and the driver. It is never too late to change your path.

4. Do you love life? I have found that if you love life, it will love you back. Give it a try

5. How are you searching for happiness? Your diamonds are not in distant mountains or far off seas; they are in your own backyard. All you need is to dig for them- Start digging- the deeper you go the better.

When we view happiness as living our life in the moment, doing what we love, practicing gratitude, being true to ourselves, not taking things personally, speaking and acting with kindness, making no assumptions and doing our best. The basis of the book The Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz. Our lives are filled with a higher level of happiness everyday.

Our body and our minds can take us only so far: Our spirit can lead us all the way Home. Susan Jeffers

You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you will discover will be wonderful. What you discover will be yourself. Alan Alda
Visit my website www.carolgcoach.com for free coaching resources

About Carol Giannantonio
Carol is a certified Life, Business, Career and Wellness Coach. Carol's Brain based coaching techniques help clients clarify what's really important to them, set meaingful goals, tap into their energy, take action and quickly achieve the results they are looking for. Carol's passion,wisdom and intuitive nature combined with her motivating and compassionate personality provide clients with an enriching coaching experience. If your ready to get unstuck and get going to where you want to be- Carol's the Coach to get you there. Contact her for a free consult at carolgcoach@aol.com

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2011-03-04T00:50:00.003+05:30

The First Step On Your Road to Recovery Is to Believe and Trust

by Carol Giannantonio

When you are faced with an illness or injury, it is easy to become depressed and lose sight of your goals and dreams. When your physical body is weak or compromised, particularly your immune system it affects your mental and spirituality ability.

The first step to recovery is to believe and trust. You can do this by building your inner core-your spirituality. This is your true essence. Connect with your soul, feed your mind positive thoughts and miracles will happen.

Connecting with your soul and spirituality gives you strength in all areas of your life. This is called HEALING. Healing is a process and another step on your road to recovery.Spend time healing yourself - caring for your body by giving it rest, love and kindness. Think of things you love- do the things you love as you can- be it reading, listening to music, dancing, yoga, meditating, soaking in a hot tub, going for a walk, watching the sunset or rise or just listening to the still of the moment. Spend time learning how to heal your mind and body as you continue to believe and trust.

On your road to recovery keep a positive attitude and smile. Keep your will and faith.Have the courage to never give up. Believe and trust in you and the universe.

I'm sharing my personal battle of recovery with you. The strategies, actions, resources, and remedies I've used to combat my own illness.

I'm a Life Coach. Coaching is my passion. It's also healing for me. I find great joy in helping others, making make a positive impact on people's lives. I listen deeply to what they say and what they do not say. I help them clarify what they want and where they want to be and I help them get there.

Coaching is one way I give back. Giving back and doing good deeds makes you happy, and feel good. Giving back is also healing.

Your road to recovery is filled with new insights and suprises. One thing you may discover on your road to recovery are your true friends- those who say they care and those who are always there and truly care. Actions speak louder than words. This can be surprising and hurtful. Don't personalize it. Remember it is not about YOU. It is about THEM. Don't spend negative energy being angry -it takes away from your healing and recovery.

Remember it takes less energy to forgive, than it does to be angry. Set boundaries if you need. Give love. Yes, I did say give love. When you give love and send positive energy these "friends" will either embrace it, give it back or they will just go away.

Treasure the friends who are always there for you even when you least expect it. Count your blessings. This is also healing. Focus on the positives in your life, the little blessings. Find happiness in every day! Create happiness in all your days. Fight hard, finish strong, believe, and trust.

"I have your back. I will never let you fall." My fiance Bob told me this in my darkest hours. I'm blessed to have him in my life. These words helped me so much. I'm blessed and sharing my blessings with you is part of my healing.

Discover your blessings, share them and allow yourself to heal. Believe and Trust.

We all have at least one person in our life that loves us unconditionally- God, a spouse, a dear friend, a partner, family, and our pets. Treasure them- look to them for support. They are another one of life's blessings.

Believe it or not- pets are some of our best companions and healers. My Shitzu "Cody" loves me unconditionally. Cody is always there for me. Giving me hugs and kisses. He senses when I'm sad or in pain. He cuddles up to me. His big bright eyes look deeply into mine. I hear them say-I love you-don't be sad, you are going to be ok. Trust and believe.

So remember, your road to recovery is believing, trusting, counting your blessings, giving back, taking action on your goals, following your dreams-never losing sight of who you are and never, ever giving up!

At times we surprise ourselves with just how strong we really are.

About Carol Giannantonio
Carol is a certified Life, Business, Career and Wellness Coach. Carol's Brain based coaching
techniques help clients clarify what's really important to them, set meaingful goals, tap into their energy, take action and quickly achieve the results they are looking for. Carol's passion,wisdom and intuitive nature combined with her motivating and compassionate personality provide clients with an enriching coaching experience. If your ready to get unstuck and get going to where you want to be- Carol's the Coach to get you there. Contact her for a free consult at carolgcoach@aol.com

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2011-03-04T00:45:00.003+05:30

Find Those People

by Nan Russell

The Emperor's New Clothes was a favorite childhood story of mine. It made me laugh. I couldn't believe all those adults were standing around, watching the emperor make a fool of himself and not telling him the truth. When I grew up and went to work, I discovered it wasn't that easy.

In twenty years in management, I found the majority of people operated like the Emperor's ministers: people more concerned with personally looking foolish, than venturing feedback; more concerned with what they thought they should say, than saying what needed to be said; and more concerned with figuring out what they thought the boss wanted to hear, than offering their point of view. Luckily, there were exceptions.

In order to succeed, I needed people to stop me from being like the emperor in the children's fable. I needed people willing to state the truth, at least the truth as they saw it; people willing to push back, challenge, and tell me things I may not have wanted, but needed, to hear. Now that I'm an author, speaker, and consultant, my criterion remains the same. I need people to tell me the truth when the truth needs telling, whether I ask or not.

I may not always like what they have to say, but I'm glad they said it. I may not always take their advice, but I appreciate they offered it. And I may not always agree with them, but I know to listen deeply and consider it.

I've been saved from countless mistakes, errors in judgments and blind spots by these exceptional people offering their truth-telling gift. They've helped me keep my balance, gain perspective, and make decisions. They've helped me grow.

"Your idea is off-base," she ventured. "It's not going to connect with people." Words from a trusted colleague cautioned me to rethink an important launch. In the end, she was right. It wasn't a good idea. Her words saved me more than the certain embarrassment of a failed initiative. Money, resources, and time were at stake, too.

If you want to be winning at working, look for people like this to help you. You'll know them by their candor. They're the ones not working a personal agenda who have yours or the company's best interests at heart; the ones able to see the big picture who are comfortable offering their no-strings attached perspectives; and the ones bringing difficult messages surrounded with good intentions.

These are the people telling the truth as they see it, who are willing to pull you back from the edge or push you out of an unproductive loop. I'm indebted to these people in my career. My advice? Realize you need all the help you can get.

Find a few truth-telling people you can trust. You especially need them now, in an era where skeptical has turned cynical in most workplaces. Find those who have the courage and forthrightness, like the child in Hans Christian Andersen's, The Emperor's New Clothes. I don't know about you, but if I'm out there without clothes, it's a sure bet I want someone to tell me.

About Nan Russell
Nan Russell has spent over twenty years in management, most recently with QVC as a Vice President. She has held leadership positions in Human Resource Development, Communication, Marketing and line Management. Nan is the author of the book "Hitting Your Stride: Your Work, Your Way" (Capital Books; Jan 2008) and radio host of the nationally syndicated "Work Matters with Nan Russell."

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2011-03-04T00:33:00.003+05:30

What Basics?

by Nan Russell

The cyclical and now ubiquitously appearing phrase, back to basics, ignites supporters. The reasonableness of returning to previously successful principles, ethics, systems, accountability, approaches, or you-name-it, appears a tantalizing remedy for our individual or collective woes.

Who can argue with the refocusing trend of business to trim waste or reconnect with customers, or an expert's approach to help income-starved entrepreneurs at a motivational conference, or a pundit's prescription for Toyota's headline woes? Like a dieter refocusing his energy on an intake-to-output equation of eat less exercise more, a back to basics approach works. At least for awhile.

But, business is not as simple as it once was. No longer can supervisors, managers, or CEOs announce goals, objectives, and initiatives with an expectation that organizational alignment and support follows.

No matter what you think of Internet discussion boards, bloggers, or social media sites, not to mention text messaging, instant messaging, or tweeting, one thing is clear: the world has changed.

And whether you're a fan or not, technologies that provide instant access to alternative perspectives, influence, and thinking are here to stay. The box has been opened, and back-to-basics isn't enough. Success requires basic-basics. These are the basics that don't change with technology, industry, or economic times.

You see, the question we should be asking in our work groups, companies, and communities isn't whether we should get back to basics from time to time, but rather, what are the more inherent basics that are missing?

I contend those are the ones that touch the core of what's absent in many organizational relationships, punctuating why staff disengagement plagues companies. While merely common sense, these basics are, unfortunately, not common practice.

So here are three fundamentals from both sides of the desk, for individual contributors and heads of organizations, for business owners and entry level employees; these apply to all of us:

First, a thank you. Thank you for taking on additional tasks during the hiring freeze. Thank you for giving up your weekend to finish the proposal. Thank you for an exceptional job solving that problem.

Thank you for fighting for me for an increase. Thank you for giving me the flexibility to stay home with my sick child. Thank you for taking time to show me the new system. Notice what I do, and say thanks, and I'll want to keep doing it.

Second, a heads-up. Whether the priority has changed, the release has accelerated, you've changed your mind, or you're working on something that is going to impact what I'm doing, how about a heads-up?

Ongoing dialogue is a winning mindset for this century. What I do affects more than my work acres and what you do does, too. Helping each other thrive helps all of us survive.

Third, an understanding. We both work for ourselves, no matter whose signature is on the paycheck. I get that about you, my boss. But please understand that about me, too. We all want to live our best life. Please don't try to motivate me with shallow promises, outdated trinkets, or last-century carrot or stick approaches.

Don't assume you have the answers, the best ideas, or the only way to do something. And please don't think you know what I want. If you treat me as the individual I am and help build a work culture with trust and communication, I'll use my talents and gifts, offer my discretionary efforts, be engaged in interesting work, and contribute to the greater whole.

People who are winning at working, no matter their role, realize that when they offer the best of who they are to their work, in the deepest sense, they live these basics.

You see, when you show up to do your best work, these fundamentals are part of who are you and what you do. Want to be winning at working? Make these common sense basics common practice in your work.

(c) 2010 Nan S. Russell. All rights reserved.

About Nan Russell
Nan Russell has spent over twenty years in management, most recently with QVC as a Vice President. She has held leadership positions in Human Resource Development, Communication, Marketing and line Management. Nan is the author of the book "Hitting Your Stride: Your Work, Your Way" (Capital Books; Jan 2008) and radio host of the nationally syndicated "Work Matters with Nan Russell."
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2011-03-04T00:27:00.003+05:30

Changing Your View

by Nan Russell

Last time I was hiking in Montana's Glacier National Park, I stopped to view through binoculars, a mountain goat trekking atop a rock cliff. My husband, viewing the switch-back trail we'd just climbed, happened to see a grizzly bear cross behind a group of hikers a hundred yards below us. With my narrowed focus, I never saw the bear. Our different views yielded different impressions.

It's like that at work, too. We survey our landscape using departmental binoculars, seeing through lenses of a work group, a site, a division, a subsidiary, or a corporation. We may see the goat and miss the bear, or vice versa. We make decisions, offer solutions, create ideas and do our work based on an understanding of what we've gleaned from a partial view.

So if you're in software development or human resources, customer service or accounting, sales or creative services, manufacturing or marketing, legal or public relations, or any number of departments, professions, industries or businesses, you'll tend to see your work-world from that role perspective, making interpretations accordingly.

But if you want to be winning at working, you need to get beyond a narrow orientation. Doing that requires a different mind-set. One that understands that actions taken by one individual or department impact other individuals or departments; actions taken in one business or industry impact other businesses or industries; and actions taken in one country, impact other countries.

Changing your view has nothing to do with larger numbers of people or the size of a department or business enterprise. It has nothing to do with where you are in the hierarchy either. People with myopic self-interests can be found at every level of an organization. It's not the position that helps us see differently, it's the "eyes" we develop.

Let's say, you implement a simple change, going from paper to electronic invoices. That decision impacts the printer of the paper invoices, the shipper of the forms, the IT department needed to build new systems, suppliers who must adapt to your way of doing business, employees who must be trained on the electronic system and - you get the point. Knowing the impact doesn't mean you won't make the change. But it will produce better decision making, enhanced communication, and more positive results.

People who are winning at working think beyond their narrow roles, stepping back to gain a larger perspective. Mao Tse-tung puts it this way, "We think too small. Like the frog at the bottom of the well. He thinks the sky is only as big as the top of the well. If he surfaced, he would have an entirely different view."

If you want to be winning at working, you need to surface from your well and look out at the work-world you share. Changing your view, changes everything.

(c) 2010 Nan S. Russell. All rights reserved.

About Nan Russell
Nan Russell has spent over twenty years in management, most recently with QVC as a Vice President. She has held leadership positions in Human Resource Development, Communication, Marketing and line Management. Nan is the author of the book "Hitting Your Stride: Your Work, Your Way" (Capital Books; Jan 2008) and radio host of the nationally syndicated "Work Matters with Nan Russell."

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2011-03-04T00:22:00.003+05:30

It's Personal

by Nan Russell

Off to dinner the night before I was the keynote speaker at a regional conference, I wanted something good, but casual; calming but moderately swift. So, my husband and I selected an interesting looking place within walking distant of our hotel.

By every want I originally articulated, the restaurant exceeded expectations. Yet at the end of our meal, I was less vitalized than when I'd walked in, and our waiter was the reason. Don't get me wrong, he was a good waiter, from a service standpoint. But his self-focused lens tainted the encounter.

When we didn't order the white wine pairing he suggested, but a favorite red instead, he was visibly annoyed. When I passed on his favorite entree, he acted as if I offended him. And when my husband chose a dessert different from the one he recommended, his cold-shoulder rebuff was memorable.

Now, a few weeks later, I realize that waiter did what many of us do in our workplaces: he took his work personally, instead of making it personal. He viewed our choices that were away from his suggestions through an about-him perspective. He wasn't considering that while we found his suggestions interesting, they weren't what we wanted that night for dinner. And it was our dinner, after all.

He's not alone. Too many of us take work situations personally. We believe we aren't being heard when our boss doesn't implement our suggestions; we think our co-workers are ignoring us when they don't follow our recommended approaches; or we perceive our staff as stubborn when they want to do a project their way.

But people who are winning at working shift perspectives. They don't take it personally when you don't select their idea, use their computer short-cuts, or follow their approaches. They realize it's often simply personal and individual preferences. What works for you reflects your style, needs, wants, and desired results. Theirs does too.

Still, people who are winning at working know it's not enough to recognize that we have different likes and dislikes, make different choices, support different approaches, or decide different things. It's not enough to understand that it's all personal.

The bigger understanding needed in the workplace is this: it's not about you. If that waiter had perceived dinner as about us, the guest, he wouldn't have taken our choices personally. If his service had been personal (i.e. about us) our decisions would never have been taken personally (i.e. about him).

People who are winning at working orient toward others. They view their job as making your job easier, or being of service, or meeting your needs. So, if they're a job seeker, they'll make that interview about you: how they can help, support, or solve your problem. If they're a software engineer, they'll look for the best way to make it simpler for you, their user. And if they're a boss or coworker they'll help provide the support, recognition, and interesting work that you thrive on so you can do your best work.

You see, people who are winning at working realize work and workplaces have changed. Today it's all about the personal. This age of the individual is punctuated by custom t-shirts shipped in twenty-four hours, have-it-my-way phone apps, menu-driven computer software, my-music play lists, personal YouTube channels, work-from-anywhere telecommuters, and billions of comments from bloggers, tweeters, and 500 million Facebook users.

What that means is this: we will create the best results, products, solutions, and service when we take ourselves out of the equation and focus on others, as individuals, and what they want at any given time. Bottom line? If you want to be winning at working in this age of the individual remember this: when it's all personal, you definitely can't take it personally.

(c) 2010 Nan S. Russell. All rights reserved.

About Nan Russell
Nan Russell has spent over twenty years in management, most recently with QVC as a Vice President. She has held leadership positions in Human Resource Development, Communication, Marketing and line Management. Nan is the author of the book "Hitting Your Stride: Your Work, Your Way" (Capital Books; Jan 2008) and radio host of the nationally syndicated "Work Matters with Nan Russell."

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2011-03-04T00:13:00.003+05:30

Winning at Working--Those Crazy People

by Nan Russell

His voice was loud; his attitude hostile; his words caustic. Despite how rude he was, she remained calm, professional, and polite throughout the challenging encounter. Even from my close vantage point, I didn't detect a hint of irritation in her demeanor.

The man in front of me in the breakfast order line at the food court, in one of the busiest airports in the country, wanted a "full" cup of coffee. He kept raising his voice, yelling at the woman to "fill his cup to the top." His words peppered with angry comments about her not giving him his "money's worth."

People trekking to their gates paused to see what the commotion was. The upheaval, as it appeared to me, was about a person angry over something other than coffee, and taking whatever it was out on a stranger attempting to fulfill his request.

Maybe he couldn't control what was happening in his life, but he could control how much coffee he got. Who knows? After the fourth time he shouted at her about not satisfying his request for a "full cup of coffee" and accusing her of "stealing his money" by not giving him what he paid for, she glanced my way. Shooting her an encouraging look, her eyes smiled in return.

I'm sure that in that busy airport, this woman gets her share of "crazy people." Yet people like her, people who are winning at working, aren't easily fazed by them. They use two approaches when these unbalanced, obnoxious, or demeaning energy bolts come their way.

First, they seem to deploy the equivalent of an emotional shield by switching on a silent choice button. Instead of letting some crazy person ruin their day, pour toxic venom into their energy field, or define how they see themselves or their jobs, they choose to deflect the angry words and focus on the situation. They refuse to take the occurrence personally.

We all have crazy people encounters at work from time to time. Sometimes customers, clients, staff, bosses, or coworkers, use us as verbal punching-bags to vent their frustrations, anger, or disappointment. But people who are winning at working keep that in perspective, too. They realize, more likely than not, they've been someone else's difficult person, from time to time.

I'll never forget as a young, infrequent traveler, our first expensive family vacation outside the U.S. We were bumped from an overbooked plane out of Philadelphia, bused to a New York airport, missed that plane, rebooked on a flight through Puerto Rico that turned into an unplanned overnight stay in a seedy hotel. When we finally arrived at our Caribbean island resort having lost nearly two days of a six day vacation, no luggage arrived with us.

It's true that the person who encountered my rage over the overbooked flight that started it all did not deserve my wrath. I was her "crazy person" that day. Our son, quite young at the time, still teases me about "going ballistic" and screaming at the airline representative in anything but a professional manner.

Twenty years later, I'm still embarrassed to think how I reacted and to recount how out of control I was to an unsuspecting person on the other side of the desk, whose caring approach and compassion was memorable. She demonstrated the second approach people who are winning at working use in these brief, explosive encounters. They offer a compassionate heart.

People operating with the winning philosophy of offering the best of who they are to the world, understand this: some heavy life-loads people carry are invisible. The person next to you or behind you or across from you may have a waterlogged heart, a broken spirit, or limited days.

We can't know the challenges someone else is dealing with, the tragedies touching their lives, or the stresses crushing them day after day. But we can view them (and their temporary craziness) through compassionate eyes.

You see, people who are winning at working understand life is hard sometimes and we all benefit when we're gentler with each other. That young women serving coffee in a crowded airport modeled a better, winning at working, way.

(c) 2010 Nan S. Russell. All rights reserved.

About Nan Russell
Nan Russell has spent over twenty years in management, most recently with QVC as a Vice President. She has held leadership positions in Human Resource Development, Communication, Marketing and line Management. Nan is the author of the book "Hitting Your Stride: Your Work, Your Way" (Capital Books; Jan 2008) and radio host of the nationally syndicated "Work Matters with Nan Russell."

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2011-03-03T23:57:00.003+05:30

Notes to Boss

by Nan Russell

As a conference speaker, I arrived a day early to get an up close feel for the audience's issues and challenges before my presentation. Waiting outside the large auditorium for the morning's general session to begin, I watched as the catering manager arrived for what appeared to be a planned inspection.

Staff members stood behind the food tables as he walked the breakfast buffet set-up. No good morning, no hello, no how are you, to his staff. No thank you acknowledgement to the team for creating an inviting space for the several thousand soon-to-arrive guests. In fact, he attempted no personal connection at all.

Instead, his first words to staff were, "I hate it," pointing to a flower arrangement. "Move it." he said. After barking orders of items he wanted changed "immediately," he was gone. As soon as the boss was out of range, one young man muttered to another, "Jerk!"

You can imagine how enthusiastic and engaged that staff was by the time the first guests arrived. Now, I'm not suggesting insincere praise or faux friendliness, which is as transparent as bubble wrap. But what this boss failed to understand that morning was his personal impact on the group's performance and motivation that day. His approach did nothing to help people bring the best of who they are to their work, or to their guests, or build the business.

So in the interests of helping that boss "see what it looks like" to be a winning at working manager, I have a few notes for him, and others like him.

Dear Boss: Consider these your first week of coaching tweets:

* Ask yourself: how can I be of service to my staff? How can I best support their work and efforts?

* Manage to the 90% of trustworthy, hardworking, dedicated people, and you'll increase the probability of exceptional results.

* The law of reciprocity - you get what you give - is at work here. You get respect by giving respect.

* Don't hire hands or heads or voices to do what needs to be done, engage the whole person.

* Paint a word picture of what you want achieved. Help people "see it" and they can do it.

* Your words matter. Use them carefully. Don't forget, please, thank you, and good morning.

* Helping others thrive helps you survive. What are you doing today to help your team thrive?

According to a recent Harvard Business School report, employee "dissatisfaction is at a twenty-three year all time low," with unhappiness rates as high as 82%. Maybe that catering manager is among them. But one thing for sure, his employees are.

Yet, it doesn't have to be like that. Managers who are winning at working understand that people work for people, not for companies. If you manage others, your job is to help them do their best work.

Winning at working managers do just that. They create pockets of excellence where people can shine. And those pockets of excellence are where you'll find the remaining 18% of employees - the satisfied, committed, fully engaged ones!

(c) 2011 Nan S. Russell. All rights reserved.

About Nan Russell
Nan Russell has spent over twenty years in management, most recently with QVC as a Vice President. She has held leadership positions in Human Resource Development, Communication, Marketing and line Management. Nan is the author of the book "Hitting Your Stride: Your Work, Your Way" (Capital Books; Jan 2008) and radio host of the nationally syndicated "Work Matters with Nan Russell."

2011-03-03T23:51:00.002+05:30

Resistance to Gratitude: Why Isn't The Law of Attraction Working for Me?

by Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Most of us know that expressing heartfelt gratitude is a powerful way to raise our frequency and connect with our spiritual Guidance. Yet many people rarely or never express gratitude, and when they do, it is more rote than truly heartfelt.

In a phone session with Deb, one of my clients, we were talking about this very issue. She was telling me how much trouble she has ever feeling gratitude.

"Deb, there must be a good reason you have problems feeling gratitude for what you have - your health, your home, work you love, your relationship, and your friends. What do you think is in the way of feeling grateful for what you have?"

"My life does not meet my image of what I thought my life would be like. I thought I'd have much more money, and live in a much bigger home. I thought I'd be able to travel more."

"So until your life fits the image you created when you were younger, you can't feel grateful for what you have?"

"Right. I just can't find the feeling of gratitude. I feel resentful that I don't have what I want."

The law of attraction states that "Like attracts like." Manifesting what we want comes from being in a high frequency of gratitude for what we have and the joy and excitement of moving ourselves toward what we want. Resentment has a low frequency, which keeps us disconnected from our ability to manifest our dreams.

"Deb, you have done enough reading about the law of attraction to know that you cannot manifest what you want from the low frequency of resentment. Yet you seem so resistant to gratitude, and you are telling me that you cannot feel gratitude because your life doesn't fit your image of your dreams. Can you see how you are keeping yourself from being able to manifest your dreams, keeping yourself stuck where you are by your resistance?"

"Now that you say this, I can see it. I've always wondered why I can't feel grateful for what I have, as I know that I have a lot. Now I understand that I've been so attached to my image of what I thought my life would be like that I'm not enjoying what I do have."

Deb is not alone in being so attached to her image of her life that she is missing the joy of her life.
Are you so attached to your life being "perfect" that you are missing the joy of the moment? Are you living in the past regarding your image of your life rather than fully living your life right now?

Being in heartfelt gratitude means that you stop focusing on what you don't have and start focusing on what you do have and on what you want for yourself in the future.

Are you trying to "control" your life from your ego wounded self who believes that resentment will somehow get you want you want? It is vitally important for you to understand that your "frequency" has everything to do with manifestation. Feelings like anxiety, depression, anger and resentment have a low frequency, while gratitude, love, excitement and joy have a high frequency. We connect with Spirit only in a high frequency. The manifestation gurus state that manifesting results from repeatedly visualizing what you want with positive emotion. I know this to be true from my own personal experience.

Gratitude is one of the most positive emotions we have. Start today to move out of the negative circle of focusing with anxiety and resentment on what you don't have and instead focus on what you do have and what you want with gratitude, excitement and joy!

About Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® healing process. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover your joy? Learn Inner Bonding now! Click here for a FREE Inner Bonding Course, and visit our website at www.innerbonding.com for more articles and help. Phone Sessions Available. Join the thousands we have already helped and visit us now!

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2011-03-03T23:38:00.003+05:30

"There's Too Much To Do"

by Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

"There's too much to do. You'll never get it all done." My wounded self was harping on me about not having enough time.

It's true that my life is very busy. But every time my wounded self told me that there is too much to do and that I will never get it all done, my body got tense. And, as I well know, tension indicates that I'm telling myself a lie. But what was the lie? There WAS too much to do, and there WASN'T enough time to get it all done.

So I went to my Guidance, asking for the truth and what to do about this, and this is what she said to me:

You are forgetting what is important here. The only thing that is important is your thoughts and your resulting frequency. When you allow your wounded self to tell you that you don't have enough time, then we (Spirit) comply. "Okay," we say, and we make sure that you never have enough time. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy - the more you say it, the more it is true."

"So are you saying that it's not necessarily true?" I asked her. "Then what is true?"

It is true as long as this is what you believe. And as long as this is what you believe, you will feel tense, which lowers your frequency and makes it impossible for us to help you manifest what you need to get everything done. You slow yourself down by being tense about time. So it is not a thought that is in your highest good. It is a thought that is out of alignment with your true Self, which wants to stay in a high frequency. What thought would make you feel relaxed?"

"Well, of course the thought that there is always enough time. But I've tried this and it works for the moment and then I get caught up in the time crunch again."

That's because, as I said, you are focusing on the wrong thing. You are focusing on time and getting things done, rather than on what is vitally important, which is keeping your frequency high. You know that being tense about anything lowers your frequency and prevents us from co-creating with you. You need to stay focused on thinking whatever thoughts you need to think to keep your frequency high and you will see that time will be fine.

"Really? You mean I will have enough time if I stop thinking about not having enough time and instead just think the thoughts that keep my frequency high?"

Yes, really! And you know from much experience that the thoughts that keep your frequency high are thoughts of heart-felt gratitude. You KNOW how to do this - you just forget when you have a lot to do.

"Thanks! I'm going to just focus on gratitude, not on time and all that I have to do, and see what happens."

My Guidance is so amazing! For some reason, it had not occurred to me, when I knew that I had tons to do, to focus on gratitude and keeping my frequency high rather than on all that I had to do.

And, of course, she is right. Since that conversation with her, I've been doing exactly that, and the amazing thing is that time seems to have expanded. Suddenly I'm either getting more done in less time, or I seem to have more time to get things done. I feel joyful all day and by the end of the day, I'm amazed at how great I feel! Tired, of course, but relaxed and peaceful and joyful.

About Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® healing process. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover your joy? Learn Inner Bonding now! Click here for a FREE Inner Bonding Course, and visit our website at www.innerbonding.com for more articles and help. Phone Sessions Available. Join the thousands we have already helped and visit us now!

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2011-03-03T22:55:00.004+05:30

Enmeshed Parenting

by Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

"Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They came through you but not from you and though they are with you yet they belong not to you."-- Kahlil Gibran

Symptoms of enmeshed parenting:

* Your children's good or difficult behavior and successful or unsuccessful achievements define your worth.

* Your children are the center of your life - your purpose in life.

* Your focus is on taking care of your children rather than taking care yourself.

* Your happiness or pain is determined by your children.

* You are invasive - you need to know everything about what your children think and do.
If you identify with one or more of these symptoms, you might be enmeshed with your children.
Consequences for your children of you being enmeshed with them:

* They may grow up feeling responsible for others' feelings while ignoring responsibility for their own. They might feel selfish if they take care of themselves rather than you, becoming compliant and disconnected from themselves.

* They may use you as their role model - making others responsible for their feelings rather than being self-responsible.

* They may feel invaded and controlled by you and withdraw, resist, or act out in anger. As adults, they may have a hard time taking responsibility for themselves.

* They will likely have problems in their adult relationships, both work and personal - being a taker, a caretaker, withdrawn, angry, and/or resistant.

As a parent, it is vitally important that you have a sense of passion and purpose in your life separate from your children. And it is vitally important that you learn to define your own sense of worth rather than making your children's behavior responsible for this. It is way too big a burden for children to be the center of your life. There is way too much pressure on them to have to act right, perform right, and/or look right for you to feel that you are okay. Defining your worth through your children makes them feel trapped in being what you want them to be rather than being themselves. If you do not have work, hobbies, or other interests that are very important to you, then you might be making your children your purpose in life, and you might be making them responsible for your feelings of self-worth.

Your children need you to be a role model of taking loving care of yourself - of defining your own worth and taking responsibility for your own feelings of pain and joy. They need to see you as a productive member of society - whether it is through you're your work, volunteer work, and/or creative activities and hobbies. They need to feel free to be themselves and follow their own path without feeling that they will hurt or disappoint you. They need to know that they can come to you with their fears, questions, doubts and dilemmas and that you will be there to help them find their way rather than imposing your way on them. They need to feel your love and support for who they are rather than who you think they should be.

You will end up with a far better relationship with your children if you learn how to make yourself happy and define your own worth rather than make your children responsible for you.

As adults, they will continue to want to spend time with you if you are your own person, but if they feel obligated to be with you, they might resist.

If you are an enmeshed parent, do yourself and your children a huge favor and start learning to take responsibility for your own happiness and pain.

About Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® healing process. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover your joy? Learn Inner Bonding now! Click here for a FREE Inner Bonding Course, and visit our website at www.innerbonding.com for more articles and help. Phone Sessions Available. Join the thousands we have already helped and visit us now!

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2011-03-03T22:35:00.003+05:30

The Happiness Choice

by Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

"Our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how anybody or anything outside ourselves will affect us."--Stephen R. Covey,? Author and Speaker

This is a powerful freedom. And, from my point of view, another way of putting this is that the ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide our own intent:

* To protect against pain with our controlling behavior
* To learn about what is loving to ourselves and others

When our intent is to learn about love, that is when we get to decide how others will affect us.
If my intent is to control how other people feel about me, then if they don't like me, I will be upset. I may feel rejected or unworthy. I've made them responsible for my sense of worth, which then means that I have to try to control how they feel about me by being perfect, being nice, doing things right, saying the right thing, looking right, performing right, and so on. This is a very hard way to live!

When my intent is to be loving to myself, then I don't make others responsible for me sense of worth. Instead, I define my essential worth - not by my looks or performance - but by my essential qualities of compassion, loving kindness, caring, understanding, creativity, perseverance, basic goodness, and so on. I learn to define myself, not by my programmed ego wounded mind, but through the eyes of my higher self. If someone doesn't like me, I don't take this personally, since I accept that I have no control over who they are or how they feel, and it is not loving to me to take their behavior personally.

When my focus is on loving myself and sharing my love with others, I behave in ways that bring me joy. While painful outside events can momentarily affect me, when my intent is to be loving to myself, I quickly move into compassion for my own feelings, bringing in the comfort of Spirit to help me move through the loneliness, heartache, heartbreak, grief, sorrow, or sadness of a situation.

This all depends on who I give authority to - my personal source of spiritual guidance, or others and events. When I give authority to others and events, then I become a victim of others and circumstances. When I give authority to my personal source of spiritual guidance, I always have access to a source of truth, peace, and joy.

MY HAPPINESS OR MISERY IS MY CHOICE, AND IT DEPENDS ENTIRELY ON MY INTENT - WHICH IS MY ULTIMATE FREE-WILL CHOICE.

The moment my intent is to control that which I cannot control, or that which is unloving toward myself, others, or the planet to control, I will create my misery. Whether I try to control my pain with various addictions to substances or processes, or I try to control my feelings by getting others approval, or I try to control others and outcomes by acting in ways that are not in integrity with that which is loving to myself and others, I will make myself unhappy. Operating from a belief that the end justifies the means will never bring me joy.

The moment my intent is to be loving to myself and others, then I will treat myself, others and the planet in ways that are in alignment with what is in my highest good and the highest good of all. Loving behavior toward myself and others always brings a deep inner sense of joy.

When you choose the intent to learn about loving yourself and others, you move yourself into personal power, integrity, and connection with the Source of wisdom, truth, and joy.

About Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® healing process. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover your joy? Learn Inner Bonding now! Click here for a FREE Inner Bonding Course, and visit our website at www.innerbonding.com for more articles and help. Phone Sessions Available. Join the thousands we have already helped and visit us now!

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2011-03-03T22:24:00.002+05:30

Holding Your Heart Through Sadness and Heartbreak

by Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

"I've finally learned how to lovingly hold my heart when my heart hurts from the pain of disconnection with loved ones," said Meagan in our phone session. "I've discovered that it's possible to feel peaceful even in the midst of loneliness and heartbreak."

Does it seem like a paradox to you to feel both peaceful and sad at the same time?

PEACEFUL AND SAD AT THE SAME TIME

When life events are challenging - a loved one is angry at you, you've ended a relationship, you've been fired from a job, a loved one has died - your heart hurts with the loneliness, heartbreak, grief, and helplessness over others and events, and from the sadness and sorrow of the situation.

You have 2 choices regarding how to handle these very painful feelings.

* You can do everything you can to avoid feeling them with your substance and process addictions - to food, drugs, alcohol, work, spending, sex, TV, Internet, daydreaming, anger, blame, withdrawal, people-pleasing, and so on.

* You can hold your heart, opening to the feelings with deep kindness and tenderness toward yourself.

When you do the first - avoid the feelings - you are abandoning yourself, which causes anxiety, depression, shame, anger, and/or emptiness.

When you do the second, you are loving yourself, connecting with yourself and with your spiritual Source of love, compassion and comfort. This creates an inner feeling of safety and peace, even in the midst of pain.

THE MISTAKEN CHOICE

It is likely that you learned as a child many ways of avoiding feeling your painful feelings of loneliness, heartbreak, grief, and helplessness over others, as you were too little to manage these feelings yourself. Unless you had a parent who knew how to be there for you with deep love and compassion when you were hurting - an empathic parent who knew how to connect with you and your feelings - you had to learn to avoid them to survive.

However, now, as an adult, you can learn to manage the painful feeling of life. You can learn to give to yourself what your parents didn't know how to give to you - to become the loving parent to yourself that you still need. You can learn to hold your heart, bringing in the compassion and comfort of Spirit, giving yourself the caring, tenderness, gentleness, and understanding that you need to feel peaceful and safe in the midst of the pain.

It is a big mistake to believe that avoiding the pain is safer than embracing it - whether it's past pain or present pain. A member of Inner Bonding Village, who had been severely abused as a child, states:

The utter loneliness and heartbreak were more than my little self could bear. I really had thought that somehow I could heal without looking at this very dark corner of my being. Yes, like a large black hole where no sunlight could reach. So much anger and pain is here. It feels like I was thrown into a closet and locked in with both. Gratefully, I have found a safe place in which to begin finding those closeted children and bringing them into the light for healing. At one time, no one heard or believed what she had been through and survived but now, there is someone there to hear her cries, open the closet, pick her up, hold her tenderly, believe her, and be her mother.

That person, of course, is her. She is learning to be the loving parent that the wounded little children within need to heal. And, even in the midst of pain, she feels much more peaceful than she ever could by avoiding her pain.

Learn to hold your heart with love and compassion for yourself and you will learn that you can feel peaceful, and even alive and passionate about your life in the midst of the pain of life.

About Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® healing process. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover your joy? Learn Inner Bonding now! Click here for a FREE Inner Bonding Course, and visit our website at www.innerbonding.com for more articles and help. Phone Sessions Available. Join the thousands we have already helped and visit us now!

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2011-03-03T22:06:00.003+05:30

Relationships and Emotional Connection

by Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Do you love it when you feel deeply emotionally connected with someone? When you feel seen, understood, valued and cherished? This is what initially draws two people together and leads to falling in love.

Then what happens? Why does the connection go away?

When most people first meet, they allow each other to see only certain parts of themselves, but they often hide the deeper parts of themselves.

Why?

Because they fear being rejected for who they really are.

They fear being rejected for who they really are because they think there is something wrong with them. Believing there is something wrong with you is called core shame - the belief that there is something inherently wrong, bad, or flawed about you.

Core shame may be governing much of what you do and how you respond in your relationships. It certainly governed much of my life until I learned how to heal it.

I learned to heal it when I learned how to connect with my spiritual Guidance - my higher mind that can see the truth of who I am. As long as I was defining myself from my limited ego wounded, programmed mind, I was operating from the false belief that I was somehow not good enough.

Developing your spiritual connection is not hard. Whenever you move into a deep desire to learn about love and truth, you raise your frequency high enough to access the wisdom that is always here for you. But in order to do this, you have to really want to know the truth. As long as you are afraid of what you will learn, you will stay stuck with your core shame. I assure you that what you will learn about your true Self is how incredible you are!

THE COURAGE TO BE VULNERABLE AND AUTHENTIC
In order to emotionally connect with another, you have to be vulnerable and authentic about your feelings, which you can't do if you think there is something wrong with you. So before you can sustain emotional connection and intimacy, you need to heal your core shame. You will not be able to take the risk of experiencing the pain of rejection unless you are not rejecting yourself.

It takes courage to be authentic. You cannot be authentic without the willingness to be vulnerable to being hurt, and you can't connect on a deep heart level without vulnerability and authenticity.

It is only when you deeply value who you are that you have the courage to reveal yourself authentically and risk being hurt. This is what creates deeply connected relationships. What it takes is two people who have done the work of healing their core shame so that they can share their heart and soul with each other.

HEALING CORE SHAME

* Start with noticing how judgmental you are of yourself. Every time you notice yourself judging yourself, stop and say to yourself, "I'm not going there." And do not judge yourself for judging yourself! Just keep noticing and stopping each time. You will find yourself judging yourself less and less and feeling better and better.

* Practice opening to learning with your Higher Self. Keep asking your Guidance with a sincere desire to learn, "Please show me what is wonderful about who I really am." Over time, you will learn to love and cherish your true Self - your essence - for qualities such as kindness, compassion, generosity, curiosity, creativity, humor, playfulness, gentleness, inner knowing, determination, loyalty, integrity, honesty, and so on.

The more you value your true Self, the easier it will be for you to be vulnerable and authentic with the important people in your life, and create the emotional connection that we all long for.

About Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® healing process. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover your joy? Learn Inner Bonding now! Click here for a FREE Inner Bonding Course, and visit our website at www.innerbonding.com for more articles and help. Phone Sessions Available. Join the thousands we have already helped and visit us now!

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2011-03-03T19:22:00.003+05:30

How to Find That "One Thing" That You Were Meant to Become

by Chris Bell

Everyone has certain desires and pursuits in life such as security, fame, fortune, etc. When moved to a higher degree of self awareness, what is the "one thing" that motivates you? The "one thing" that removes life's daily distractions from your mind and automates your focus to a higher purpose. For most, this automation of focus is achieved by accident. For the wisdom of purpose is to know the "one thing" you were meant to become.

I will use the scene from the movie City Slickers to make my point. Billy Crystal's character, Mitch, is riding on the prairie alone with Curly, played by Jack Palance. Curly offers Mitch some life advice.

Curly: Do you know what the secret of life is?[holds up one finger] This.

Mitch: Your finger?

Curly: One thing. Just one thing. You stick to that and the rest don't mean "anything".

Mitch: But, what is the "one thing?"

Curly: That's what you have to find out.

Do you know "one thing" you were meant to become or do you just go with the flow? Alarm clock. Breakfast. Drive to work. Work. Lunch. Drive home. Dinner. Bed. Alarm clock. When you look back over your life at any given point will you have a sense of accomplishment or feel greatly disappointed that time and opportunity has passed you by?

It is never too late to know your "one thing". With that said, do not procrastinate. Start your journey of success today.

Some points to assist you in achieving your plan.

One, you must be committed to finding your "one thing." A well planned life purpose is the most important element of your life.

Second, what are your strengths, talents and unique qualities? Dig deep on this one. If, you could do one thing in life what would it be?

Thirdly, what beliefs and values guide your life? Are you making decisions pertaining to your life in a happenstance way or do you make decisions about your life based upon concretely solid beliefs and values?

Further work and self discovery will be necessary to discover the "one thing" you were meant to become. The three steps above will point you in the right direction.

As the doors before you open you may consider working with a professional coach who will help you discover your true purpose in life.

I wish you Godspeed in your journey.

About Chris Bell
Chris Bell specializes in both personal and financial coaching. Chris helps his clients discover their true purpose for money which is more important than money itself. He also teaches them how to properly invest and create for them a lifelong investment philosophy.

Chris also helps his clients realize their utmost dreams. Chris' unique approach to self discovery allows his clients to discover that "One Thing" they were meant to become.

As a lifelong seeker of knowledge, Chris utilizes the latest methods and research to help individuals and businesses meet their full potential.

Formerly, Chris was the co-editor and Founder of Bohemian Bridge magazine which was devoted to exploring individual philosophy through prose and poetry.

Chris lives in Martinsburg, WV with his wife, Linda, and their three children, Emily, Jacob and Loren.

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2010-05-16T23:38:00.003+05:30

What You Appreciate Appreciates

by Eric Garner

Last weekend, it being the Spring equinox, I got up at 6 o'clock and watched the sun rise over the sea.

The sight was so beautiful that I decided to repeat it the next day. Only to find that the sky was cloud-covered and the sea a forbidding grey.

It got me thinking about Appreciation and how easy it is to appreciate the things we label as "beautiful" and "good" and how hard to appreciate the things we label as "ugly" and "bad".

It reminded me of one of my first training lessons given by my supervisor when I worked in a customer service centre. Whenever she caught any one of us using what she called the 3 C's - complaining,
condemning and
criticising,
- she would order us to replace it with one of the 3 A's,
acknowledging,
accepting and
appreciating.

Like Love in Faith, Hope, and Love, I've always thought that the greatest of these was Appreciation.

I'm quite sure that, if she were still working today, my supervisor would be a champion of Appreciative Enquiry, the idea that change works best when it is based on the things that you appreciate and which work, rather than the things that you don't appreciate and which don't work.

It's an idea that I've used on more than one occasion when working alongside someone who, in another time, I might have labelled "unhelpful" and "impossible to work with". By adopting my supervisor's lesson and replacing criticism with appreciation, I've more than once found something remarkably valuable in such people and turned a going-nowhere relationship into one with possibilities.

I call it "seeing the jewels in other peoples' crowns".

More recently, I happened to be reading a story by Alan Cohen who reminds us that when we allow ourselves to feel cheated out of life's wonderful moments, we end up playing victim, playing hurt and playing small. And the amazing thing is, it's only a small shift in appreciating that takes us to the opposite of these, to healing and wholeness.

This is how he tells the story.

Consider the scenario of a man walking down a street when a flowerpot falls off a windowsill above him and crashes at his feet, narrowly missing hitting him. There are several paths of response the fellow could take:

(1) Victim: he slips into feeling vulnerable, goes home, feels sorry for himself, and sends away for self-protection equipment;

(2) Retaliator: he dashes up to the apartment from which the flower pot fell and punches out the owner;

(3) Stoic: he reasons that it was simply his karma for the flower pot to miss him and he keeps walking; and

(4) Healer: he goes to the florist on the corner, purchases another flower, finds the apartment from which the pot fell, and gives it to the owner to replace the one he accidentally lost.

I guess there's a thread running from my 3 A's supervisor through seeing the jewels in others' crowns right up to Alan Cohen's flowerpot man.

It's about learning how easy it is to appreciate the finer things in life but knowing how more important it is to appreciate the rest.

Life shouldn't be about the occasional wonderful moments. But about the wonder in every moment.

About Eric Garner
Eric Garner runs ManageTrainLearn, the site that will make you a better manager, trainer and learner. Visit us at http://www.managetrainlearn.com for FREE e-learning software, FREE quizzes, FREE bonus ebooks, FREE newsletters and articles and an amazing learning experience.

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2010-05-16T23:29:00.003+05:30

Who Really Achieves Success in Sales?

by Mark Hunter

Success in sales does not go to the one who has the lowest price.

Nor does success in sales go to the one who has the best customers.

And, success in sales does not go the one who has the most intelligence.

Who really achieves success in sales? The people who practice integrity with every person with whom they come in contact. There is no substitute - no alternative - to consistent integrity.

Eleven years ago, I left my corporate career working in sales management for a Fortune 100 company. I began traveling the globe, working with salespeople across more industries than I can even begin to count. Over the years, I've personally met with thousands of salespeople, each with their own level of success and failures. I also have met with hundreds of sales managers, VPs of Sales, CEOs and others from the "C-Suite." All those interactions and opportunities to learn about so many industries has revealed to me more than ever what it takes to remain at the top.

People who are at the top year in and year out are those who walk and breathe integrity in everything they do. This is true in good economic periods and bad economic periods, through global upheavals and company chaos. The consistent factor to success is not an external circumstance, but rather an internal commitment to a high level of integrity. These are the people who do not necessarily close every deal or land every new big hot account that comes along. However, in their actions and attitude, 365 days a year, they walk with integrity.

How would you define integrity? I would define it as adhering to strong moral and ethical standards, regardless of the situation or result of such commitment. In other words, integrity is not a commodity you can casually use when it benefits you, and carelessly throw aside when it doesn't. Consistency is one of the hallmark signs of true integrity.

As a consultant for more than a decade, I have had the opportunity to watch several people over the course of not just weeks or months, but years. If you have been in sales a long time, you too have had the unique perspective of spotting the people others trust and want to follow.

Sometimes this person holds official capacity as a leader, but often the "leader" is not high up in an organization. Regardless of a leader's "official" position, they likely wield much influence because of their integrity.

Integrity starts with allowing yourself to be personally and publically accountable for everything you do and everything you think. In fact, integrity is more about holding yourself personally to a higher degree of accountability, because the real onus of integrity is how it guides you each day in your actions and activities. Accept 100% responsibility for how you carry yourself and do so with a high standard.

When it comes to strengthening integrity, here are some points to consider:

* No one can be forced to operate with integrity. It's completely an internal choice that is reflected in external actions.

* It's never too late to start. If you have struggled with integrity in the past, begin today to set a new course. In small ways and big ways, begin to line up your actions and attitudes with a strong moral and ethical standard.

* Accept the fact that you may not close every deal, because you are not willing to compromise your standards.

* The real measurement of integrity is what you do when nobody is looking and when nobody will ever find out what you have or have not done.

* Learn from those around you who live and breathe integrity. Become a student of their approaches and reactions - not just when the circumstances are good, but particularly when the circumstances are hard. As much as you can, surround yourself with these people. More than likely, they will not only have the highest degree of integrity, they will also be the most optimistic.

Whether you have been in sales a short time or for years, you owe it to yourself to achieve a level of success that is rooted in integrity. That kind of success cannot be matched. You will find yourself experiencing long-term success, and best of all, it will come in ways you least expect it.

About Mark Hunter
Mark Hunter, "The Sales Hunter", is a sales expert who speaks to thousands each year on how to increase their sales profitability. For more information, to receive a free weekly email sales tip, or to read his Sales Motivation Blog, visit http://www.TheSalesHunter.com

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2010-05-16T23:17:00.003+05:30

Negotiation Checklist to Ensure a Successful Outcome

by Mark Hunter

1. Never negotiate with anyone who is not qualified to negotiate. If in doubt, ask your contact how they've handled a similar type of negotiating in the past. Listen for names, dates and other details that will provide clues as to their level of responsibility.

2. Never put things into writing unless you're prepared to live with them. Once an item is put into writing, it becomes an anchor either for you or the customer. This is especially critical when negotiating with a professional buyer who will use anything put into writing as leverage.

3. Always have room to give something the other person will deem as a perceived benefit. This is why it is so important to sell first and negotiate second. By selling first, you have the opportunity to ask questions and validate the key benefits for which the customer is looking. During the negotiation phase, a customer will attempt to mask the benefits they desire, making it harder to determine exactly what the customer wants.

4. Know when to walk away and be confident in doing so. To execute this requires the walk away point being shared in advance with others to ensure accountability is in place if and when this tactic has to be used.

5. Know at least 5 things the other person wants that you can offer. Again, this is why it is so important to sell first and negotiate second. By doing so, it will be possible to know in advance of the negotiation phase what can be offered.

6. Know at least 5 things you can say that will discount what the other person is offering (price not included). Never negotiate on price. Negotiate using other items, such as technical performance, operational efficiencies, etc. that will provide the leverage needed to avoid a price-oriented discussion.

7. Always treat the other person with respect and dignity. Negotiate over things and services, not personal matters. Never allow the negotiation to become personal in nature. This even applies to those situations where a close personal relationship may exist. A quick rule to keep in mind: If the relationship is so good, then why is anything being negotiated anyway? If a negotiation does become personal in nature, do not hesitate to step away and arrange a follow-up time to resume negotiating.

8. Never enter a negotiating process until both sides are clear on what is being negotiated. At the start of a negotiation session, it is appropriate to state exactly what is up for discussion. By doing this up front, it's possible to avoid a waste of time and, more importantly, inadvertently negotiate things that don't need to be discussed.

9. Use the sell/buy approach first. Only move to a negotiating phase if you are unsuccessful closing the sale first. Minimally, no negotiating should begin until the customer has rejected the close at least twice and the customer has provided you with at least one buying signal.

10. Never offer up options until after you're deadlocked on price and the customer has provided you with additional information. This includes providing you with a buying signal and credible benefits as to what the customer is looking for.

11. Always put the negotiated outcome in writing immediately. Do not leave issues open for further discussion. The person who puts the outcomes in writing first wins by being able to position things in the manner they want them to be. Putting things into writing first also provides the opportunity to make one final modification with minimal risk.

12. Upon reaching an agreement, thank the other party, but do not celebrate! Celebrating the outcome of a negotiation sends the signal to the other party that they have been taken advantage of. Sending this signal will jeopardize the long-term potential of the relationship.

About Mark Hunter
Mark Hunter, "The Sales Hunter", is a sales expert who speaks to thousands each year on how to increase their sales profitability. For more information, to receive a free weekly email sales tip, or to read his Sales Motivation Blog, visit http://www.TheSalesHunter.com

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2010-04-07T01:54:00.003+05:30

Speech delivered by Mahatma Gandhi at the time of BHU foundation in 1916
@ Feb 20, 2010 ITBHUGlobal.org: The Chronicle: Speech delivered by Mahatma Gandhi at the time of BHU foundation in 1916
(Forwarded by Bharat Barot, Metallurgy 1987. Email: bmbarot@gmail.com)
http://www.gandhi- manibhavan. org/gandhicomesa live/speech2. htm

Famous Speeches of Gandhiji
Banaras Hindu University Speech
February 4, 1916

(Mahatma Gandhi)

[Pandit Malaviya had invited Gandhiji to speak on the occasion of the opening of the Banaras Hindu University. Lord Hardinge, the Viceroy, had come specially to lay the foundation-stone of the University. To protect his life extra precautions were taken by the police. They were omnipresent and all houses along the route were guarded. Banaras was, so to say, in a state of siege.

Eminent persons from al over India had come. Many of them delivered addresses. On February 4, 1916 it was Gandhiji’s turn to address the audience, mostly consisting of impressionable youths. A galaxy of princes, bedecked and bejeweled, had occupied the dias. The Maharaja of Darbhanga was in the chair.

Gandhiji who was clad in a short, coarse dhoti1, Kathiawadi cloak and turban rose to speak. The police precautions and the luxury around him hurt him deeply. Turning to the audience, Gandhiji said that he wanted to think audibly-speak without reserve:]

I wish to tender my humble apology for the long delay that took place before I was able to reach this place. And you will readily accept the apology when I tell you that I am not responsible for the delay nor is any human agency responsible for it. The fact is that I am like animal on show, and my keepers in their overkindness always manage to neglect a necessary chapter in this life, and, that is, pure accident. In this case, they did not provide for the series of accidents that happened to us-to me, keepers, and my carriers. Hence this delay.

Friends, under the influence of the matchless eloquence of Mrs. Besant who has just sat down, pray, do not believe that our University has become a finished product, and that all the young men who are to come to the University, that has yet to rise and come into existence, have also come and returned from it finished citizens of a great empire. Do not go away with any such impression, and if you, the student world to which my remarks are supposed to be addressed this evening, consider for one moment that the spiritual life, for which this country is noted and for which this country has no rival, can be transmitted through the lip, pray, believe me, you are wrong. You will never be able merely through the lip, to give the message that India, I hope, will one day deliver to the world. I myself have been fed up with speeches and lectures. I except the lectures that have been delivered here during the last two days from this category, because they are necessary. But I do venture to suggest to you that we have now reached almost the end of our resources in speech-making; it is not enough that our ears are feasted, that our eyes are feasted, but it is necessary that our hearts have got to be touched and that out hands and feet have got to be moved.

We have been told during the last two days how necessary it is, if we are to retain our hold upon the simplicity of Indian character, that our hands and feet should move in unison with our hearts. But this is only by way of preface. I wanted to say it is a matter of deep humiliation and shame for us that I am compelled this evening under the shadow of this great college, in this sacred city, to address my countrymen in a language that is foreign to me. I know that if I was appointed an examiner, to examine all those who have been attending during these two days this series of lectures, most of those who might be examined upon these lectures would fail. And why? Because they have not been touched.

I was present at the sessions of the great Congress in the month of December. There was a much vaster audience, and will you believe me when I tell you that the only speeches that touched the huge audience in Bombay were the speeches that were delivered in Hindustani? In Bombay, mind you, not in Banaras where everybody speaks Hindi. But between the vernaculars of the Bombay Presidency on the one hand and Hindi on the other, no such great dividing line exists as there does between English and the sister language of India; and the Congress audience was better able to follow the speakers in Hindi. I am hoping that this University will see to it that the youths who come to it will receive their instruction through the medium of their vernaculars.

Our languages the reflection of ourselves, and if you tell me that our languages are too poor to express the best thought, then say that the sooner we are wiped out of existence the better for us. Is there a man who dreams that English can ever become the national language of India? Why this handicap on the nation? Just consider for one moment what an equal race our lads have to run with every English lad.

I had the privilege of a close conversation with some Poona professors. They assured me that every Indian youth, because he reached his knowledge through the English language, lost at least six precious years of life. Multiply that by the numbers of students turned out by our schools and colleges, and find out for yourselves how many thousand years have been lost to the nation. The charge against us is that we have no initiative. How can we have any, if we are to devote the precious years of our life to the mastery of a foreign tongue? We fail in this attempt also. Was it possible for any speaker yesterday and today to impress his audience as was possible for Mr. Higginbotham? It was not the fault of the previous speakers that they could not engage the audience. They had more than substance enough for us in their addresses. But their addresses could not go home to us. I have heard it said that after all it is English educated India which is leading and which is leading and which is doing all the things for the nation. It would be monstrous if it were otherwise. The only education we receive is English education. Surely we must show something for it. But suppose that we had been receiving during the past fifty years education through our vernaculars, what should we have today? We should have today a free India, we should have our educated men, not as if they were foreigners in their own land but speaking to the heart of the nation; they would be working amongst the poorest of the poor, and whatever they would have gained during these fifty years would be a heritage for the nation.

Today even our wives are not the sharers in our best thought. Look at Professor Bose and Professor Ray and their brilliant researches. Is it not a shame that their researches are not the common property of the masses?

Let us now turn to another subject.

The Congress has passed a resolution about self-government, and I have no doubt that the All-India Congress Committee and the Muslim League will do their duty and come forward with some tangible suggestions. But I, for one, must frankly confess that I am not so much interested in what they will be able to produce as I am interested in anything that the student world is going to produce or the masses are going to produce. No paper contribution will ever give us self-government. No amount of speeches will ever make us fit for self-government. It is only our conduct that will fit for us it. And how are we trying to govern ourselves?

I want to think audibly this evening. I do not want to make a speech and if you find me this evening speaking without reserve, pray, consider that you are only sharing the thoughts of a man who allows himself to think audibly, and if you think that I seem to transgress the limits that courtesy imposes upon me, pardon me for the liberty I may be taking. I visited the Vishwanath temple last evening, and as I was walking through those lanes, these were the thoughts that touched me. If a stranger dropped from above on to this great temple, and he had to consider what we as Hindus were, would he not be justified in condemning us? Is not this great temple a reflection of our own character? I speak feelingly, as a Hindu. Is it right that the lanes of our sacred temple should be as dirty as they are? The houses round about are built anyhow. The lanes are tortuous and narrow. If even our temples are not models of roominess and cleanliness, what can our self-government be? Shall our temples be abodes of holiness, cleanliness and peace as soon as the English have retired from India, either of their own pleasure or by compulsion, bag and baggage?

I entirely agree with the President of the Congress that before we think of self-government, we shall have to do the necessary plodding. In every city there are two divisions, the cantonment and the city proper. The city mostly is a stinking den. But we are a people unused to city life. But if we want city life, we cannot reproduce the easy-going hamlet life. It is not comforting to think that people walk about the streets of Indian Bombay under the perpetual fear of dwellers in the storeyed building spitting upon them. I do a great deal of railway traveling. I observe the difficulty of third-class passengers. But the railway administration is by no means to blame for all their hard lot. We do not know the elementary laws of cleanliness. We spit anywhere on the carriage floor, irrespective of the thoughts that it is often used as sleeping space. We do not trouble ourselves as to how we use it; the result is indescribable filth in the compartment. The so-called better class passengers over we their less fortunate brethern. Among them I have seen the student world also; sometimes they behave no better. They can speak English and they have worn Norfolk jackets and, therefore, claim the right to force their way in and command seating accommodation.

I have turned the searchlight all over, and as you have given me the privilege of speaking to you, I am laying my heart bare. Surely we must set these things right in our progress towards self-government. I now introduce you to another scene. His Highness the Maharaja who presided yesterday over our deliberations spoke about the poverty of India. Other speakers laid great stress upon it. But what did we witness in the great pandal in which the foundation ceremony was performed by the Viceroy? Certain it a most gorgeous show, an exhibition of jewellery, which made a splendid feast for the eyes of the greatest jeweller who chose to come from Paris. I compare with the richly bedecked noble men the millions of the poor. And I feel like saying to these noble men, “There is no salvation for India unless you strip yourselves of this jewellery and hold it in trust for your countrymen in India.” I am sure it is not the desire of the King-Emperor or Lord Hardinge that in order to show the truest loyalty to our King-Emperor, it is necessary for us to ransack our jewellery boxes and to appear bedecked from top to toe. I would undertake, at the peril of my life, to bring to you a message from King George himself that he accepts nothing of the kind.

Sir, whenever I hear of a great palace rising in any great city of India, be it in British India or be it in India which is ruled by our great chiefs, I become jealous at once, and say, “Oh, it is the money that has come from the agriculturists.” Over seventy-five per cent of the population are agriculturists and Mr. Higginbotham told us last night in his own felicitous language, that they are the men who grow two blades of grass in the place of one. But there cannot be much spirit of self-government about us, if we take away or allow others to take away from them almost the whole of the results of their labour. Our salvation can only come through the farmer. Neither the lawyers, nor the doctors, nor the rich landlords are going to secure it.

Now, last but not the least, it is my bounden duty to refer to what agitated our minds during these two or three days. All of us have had many anxious moments while the Viceroy was going through the streets of Banaras. There were detectives stationed in many places. We were horrified. We asked ourselves, “Why this distrust?” Is it not better that even Lord Hardinge should die than live a living death? But a representative of a mighty sovereign may not. He might find it necessary to impose these detectives on us? We may foam, we may fret, we may resent, but let us not forget that India of today in her impatience has produced an army of anarchists. I myself am an anarchist, but of another type. But there is a class of anarchists amongst us, and if I was able to reach this class, I would say to them that their anarchism has no room in India, if India is to conqueror. It is a sign of fear. If we trust and fear God, we shall have to fear no one, not the Maharajas, not the Viceroys, not the detectives, not even King George.

I honour the anarchist for his love of the country. I honour him for his bravery in being willing to die for his country; but I ask him-is killing honourable? Is the dagger of an assassin a fit precursor of an honourable death? I deny it. There is no warrant for such methods in any scriptures. If I found it necessary for the salvation of India that the English should retire, that they should be driven out, I would not hesitate to declare that they would have to go, and I hope I would be prepared to die in defence of that belief. That would, in my opinion, be an honourable death. The bomb-thrower creates secret plots, is afraid to come out into the open, and when caught pays the penalty of misdirected zeal.

I have been told, “Had we not done this, had some people not thrown bombs, we should never have gained what we have got with reference to the partition movement.” (Mrs. Besant: ‘Please stop it.’) This was what I said in Bengal when Mr. Lyon presided at the meeting. I think what I am saying is necessary. If I am told to stop I shall obey. (Turning to the Chairman) I await your orders. If you consider that by my speaking as I am, I am not serving the country and the empire I shall certainly stop. (Cries of ‘Go on.’) (The Chairman: ‘Please, explain your object.’) I am simply. . . (another interruption). My friends, please do not resent this interruption. If Mrs. Besant this evening suggests that I should stop, she does so because she loves India so well, and she considers that I am erring in thinking audibly before you young men. But even so, I simply say this, that I want to purge India of this atmosphere of suspicion on either side, if we are to reach our goal; we should have an empire which is to be based upon mutual love and mutual trust. Is it not better that we talk under the shadow of this college than that we should be talking irresponsibly in our homes? I consider that it is much better that we talk these things openly. I have done so with excellent results before now. I know that there is nothing that the students do not know. I am, therefore, turning the searchlight towards ourselves. I hold the name of my country so dear to me that I exchange these thoughts with you, and submit to you that there is no room for anarchism in India. Let us frankly and openly say whatever we want to say our rulers, and face the consequences if what we have to say does not please them. But let us not abuse.

I was talking the other day to a member of the much-abused Civil Service. I have not very much in common with the members of that Service, but I could not help admiring the manner in which he was speaking to mw. He said: “Mr. Gandhi, do you for one moment suppose that all we, Civil Servants, are a bad lot, that we want to oppress the people whom we have come to govern?” “No,” I said. “Then if you get an opportunity put in a word for the much-abused Civil Service.” And I am here to put in that word. Yes, many members of the Indian Civil Service are most decidedly overbearing; they are tyrannical, at times thoughtless. Many other adjectives may be used. I grant all these things and I grant also that after having lived in India for a certain number of years some of them become somewhat degraded. But what does that signify? They were gentlemen before they came here, and if they have lost some of the moral fibre, it is a reflection upon ourselves.

Just think out for yourselves, if a man who was good yesterday has become bad after having come in contact with me, is he responsible that he has deteriorated or am I? The atmosphere of sycophancy and falsity that surrounds them on their coming to India demoralizes them, as it would many of us. It is well to take the blame sometimes. If we are to receive self-government, we shall have to take it. We shall never be granted self-government. Look at the history of the British Empire and the British nation; freedom loving as it is, it will not be a party to give freedom to a people who will not take it themselves. Learn your lesson if you wish to from the Boer War. Those who were enemies of that empire only a few years ago have now become friends. . . .

(At this point there was an interruption and a movement on the platform to leave. The speech, therefore, ended here abruptly.)

Mahatma, pp. 179-84, Edn. 1960.

This speech is from selected works of Mahatma Gandhi Volume-Six

The Voice of Truth Part-I some Famous Speech page 3 to 13
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http://www.gandhi-manibhavan.org/

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2010-03-17T00:46:00.003+05:30

3 Important Things You Can Learn From The Wild Animal Kingdom

by Stephanie L. Frank

Have you ever stopped, I mean really stopped for a minute to listen, hear, smell and feel the sounds of the wild animals around you?

They're everywhere...in the city, in the suburbs, in the skies and underground.

And they have something to say to you...can you hear them?

If there is something on your mind, a problem you're trying to solve, a situation that needs a resolution or an unanswered question in your head, chances are the answer is right in front of you. Animals are a symbol, a secret society that has a vast and amazing collection of communication, strategy and survival techniques that are as important in our everyday lives as they are in the wild.

Animals use their natural abilities to get what they want. After all, you'll never see a skunk trying to reach the tall tree leaves so easily accessible to a giraffe! Yet, we humans spend so much time looking elsewhere and making things harder than they need to be.

Here are 3 things you can learn from animals in the wild:

1. Find new ways to get what you want.

I live in a 3-acre ranch in the desert foothills in Arizona. It's surrounded by a block fence and a gate, and features a large pond filled with fish on the front acre of the land. Our home is a sanctuary for us and also represents comfort and safety to a variety of wild animals. Outside the fence, every night, is a group of coyotes. In the middle of the summer, they get thirsty.

Very thirsty.

They want the water that's in the pond. And a fish might taste good too.

Now, when the gate is open, sometimes the coyotes just help themselves, coming right in through the front, going directly to the pond and enjoying themselves. They might even go for the easy prey. But mostly the gate is closed. They still want the water.

We now have one very enterprising (and fearless) coyote who has figured out how to get to the water with very little effort, even when the gate is closed. You see, coyotes can jump quite a few feet in the air, even with a lame leg (which this one has). So Mr. Coyote has found the point on the fence lowest to the ground, and simply jumps up and over the block wall at that exact point to get to the water.

How many times have you jumped over, gone through, around, under or just plain broken through an obstacle to get what you want? Animals do it all the time and never think twice about stopping because of the obstacle. What's stopping you? How can you be like Mr. Coyote and get to what you want using another method?

2. A simple, repeatable strategy always gets you closer to your goal.

Sitting poolside at a hotel recently, I had the pleasure of interacting with a wild squirrel. I'd love to say that the squirrel was hanging around because of my wonderful, magnetic and charming way with animals, but I'd be lying.

He wanted my bag of pretzels.

I watched carefully as the squirrel calculated different ways to get at the bag of pretzels, laying wide open on a low table between two pool chaise lounges. First, he sat up on the fence far away.

Then he moved in a little closer...and closer...and closer to get a good look. Then he scampered away to reevaluate his strategies and options.

If he could talk, he probably would have said "Let's see. I could run up and grab the pretzels, but the human would probably try to catch me. I could try sneaking in when she isn't looking, but that's too risky. Wait a minute - I know! I'll use the patience strategy - works every time".

And sure enough, the little guy sat down, just out of my reach, and waited.

He didn't wait long. I threw him a piece of pretzel within 5 minutes.

The little squirrel grabbed the pretzel, held it with both hands and ate it right there, on the spot.

I swear he was grinning.

Next, I held a piece of pretzel in my hand, just to see if he'd come closer. Again, he played the patience game and won. And again, and again and again. Finally, with his full stomach, he left to take a nap.

How many times have you found something that works, only to change the strategy to something that seems "better" or "faster" or "different"? Changing strategies constantly will only serve to cause false starts, delays and frustration. Use a strategy to grow your business that works for you, not against you. Who cares if it's not the most recent, most popular or most unique? Do what works and you'll never go wrong.

3. Act in spite of fear

Rabbits are notoriously fearful. They run away at the slightest movement, sometimes even afraid of the wind. But have you ever seen rabbits work together to accomplish a goal? They do, and it's pretty amazing.

On our ranch, we have bunches of rabbits. Spring is always a time for new, little furry bundles to show up with their brother and sister bunnies and begin to explore the world.

In their world, there are juicy, tasty hibiscus and desert flowers available, but they are hidden behind a retaining wall. It's a "no rabbit" zone. Or so I thought.

Yesterday, I went out to my rabbit free zone to find - yes - a rabbit! A very small one at that, casually grazing on my off-limits flowers. A quick check outside the area and I saw 4 more full grown rabbits waiting patiently on the other side of the wall, presumably for the little one to come back with its report.

Well, report he did, because today I have full grown rabbits eating the hibiscus in my no rabbit zone. Overcoming their fear, they have figured out a way to get in (I'm still not sure how they did it) to get at the really good stuff.

If a rabbit can overcome its fear to get good food, what can you do? Is that fear of failure really so bad? What's the worst that can happen? What's the best that can happen? Is it worth it to you to really truly face your fear head-on in exchange for success? I hope so.

I recently faced my fear of heights for the final time. For years, I was unable to even go into a glass building for fear that I would fall out. To overcome it, I began riding roller coasters all around the country. A few months ago, I faced the biggest one - the one that goes off the edge of the Stratosphere in Las Vegas - 100 stories in the sky - and lived to tell about it.

So next time you're outside, look around. The animals have something to say to you. Are you listening?

About Stephanie L. Frank
Stephanie FrankFounder and President of SuccessIQ UniversityBest Selling Author, The Accidental Millionaire
Book Stephanie to Speak or read what she has to say about achieving goals, leadership, peak performance, personal empowerment, persuasion and influence, productivity, creating systems, and time mastery on her blog web site: http://www.stephaniefrank.com
What is your Success IQ? Take our short quiz and find out. www.SuccessIQQuiz.com
Claim your free gift, The 13 Vital Traits of Super Effective People here: http://successiqu.com/gift/

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2010-03-17T00:41:00.008+05:30

5 Steps to Create Solid, Powerful Goals

by Stephanie L. Frank

You know where you want to go, but how do you get there? You may find that making some decisions is easier than others. What do you do first? How long will it take? Will you need help getting there? How do you decide what's right for you?

It helps if you understand what makes you tick; your personal value system. These values are the ones you live with, not necessarily every day, but over the course of your life, that enable you to live with your decisions.

First, sit down and make a list of the top 20 or 30 values that are important to you:

* family
* personal time
* fun

-- you get the idea. Narrow that list to10, and then five. Next, rank those five in numeric order, one against the other, until you have your top three.

When making choices, ask yourself if the decision would honor your top three values. If not, it's the wrong choice for you at the time.

Setting the right goals for you is almost as important as having goals in the first place. They have to be realistic and coincide with your value system. How does your vision mesh with your goals? You may experience fear, feel overwhelmed or confused because you don't know how to go about setting goals effectively, but it's a straightforward process and you will overcome the emotions as you go, as you feel more in control.The Five-Step Goal-Setting Process

1. What do you want, specifically - This is the first thing to ask yourself in your goal planning process. What is your vision? Your dream? Without being clear as to your explicit desires, no other steps can be taken, and no progress made.

2. Why do you want it (what value does it serve) - The pivotal question in your goal-setting process and a prime motivator. You must reflect on your values list in order to answer it. Does your desire reflect your values? If so, you've accomplished the second step and are on your way to goal setting success.

3. When do you want it - Determining specific dates for completion of tasks is a crucial part of your goal setting procedure. Knowing that you have committed yourself to achieving a certain thing by a certain date will enable you to plan your time and thus maximize your efforts.

4. What will you give up or overcome to get it - Confusion? Fear? Procrastination? Insecurity? Make sure you keep in mind why you want your goal. It will give you all the courage you need to push through your fears and move forward.

5. Create a detailed plan to get there - We are not born knowing how to do anything, really, except eat, sleep and breathe. The rest we learn as we go along, and creating a detailed plan to achieve your goals is no different. Brainstorm things you can do, actions you can take. Bounce ideas off of friends, relatives. Throw out ideas (none are too insignificant or crazy). After you get the first few implausible or facetious ideas out of the way, more creative, clever and valuable ideas will surface. Brainstorm until you are able to get your ideas down to very specific, measurable tasks that you can then cross off a list when you've finished them.

In order to reach a key goal, you'll need to set interim goals - multiple short-term goals. Broken down into bite-sized pieces, the objectives are less intimidating. If you get stuck trying to create a plan, ask yourself more questions! Keep asking questions until there are no more questions, only actions left.

Prioritize your plan according to your most important goal, approach each goal individually and set a date for completion. You'll be amazed at the progress you make!

About Stephanie L. Frank
Stephanie FrankFounder and President of SuccessIQ UniversityBest Selling Author, The Accidental Millionaire
Book Stephanie to Speak or read what she has to say about achieving goals, leadership, peak performance, personal empowerment, persuasion and influence, productivity, creating systems, and time mastery on her blog web site: http://www.stephaniefrank.com/
What is your Success IQ? Take our short quiz and find out. http://www.successiqquiz.com/
Claim your free gift, The 13 Vital Traits of Super Effective People here: http://successiqu.com/gift/

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2010-03-17T00:33:00.003+05:30

Million Dollar Thinking Habits

by Stephanie L. Frank

What is a million dollar thinker, anyway?

Million dollar thinkers think about things like money and making decisions in a different way from the average person, using both the conscious and the subconscious mind.

As an example: suppose you were $10,000 in debt. The average person would focus on the debt, how to pay it, how to get out of it. They may take on a second job to pay the debt. The focus, no matter what, would be on the debt.

A million dollar thinker, on the other hand, would take that same situation and look at it 180 degrees differently. The million dollar thinker would look at the $10,000 debt, and immediately come up with a plan to earn $20,000. Focusing on solving a problem and strategizing how to make more money is infinitely more interesting, thought provoking and ultimately more prosperous than focusing on the negativity of debt.

Right now, make a choice to understand how your mind and thoughts work. The exploration of the subconscious mind and belief systems that keep us from realizing our biggest dreams is a fascinating study - and one that is well worth the time and effort to anyone who wants to be successful.

First, take a look at your belief systems - you know, the ones that everybody talks about but never really digs into? Do you have thoughts like...

"I'm not good enough"

"I could do better"

"Money doesn't grow on trees"

"There's not enough to go around."

"Money is tight"

"I don't have enough"

Or even "if I have more than my share, someone else will suffer."

These are beliefs that infiltrate the conscious mind; ones that people hold onto very tightly, unaware of the damage that they do. Of course, none of those self defeating thoughts is true but they feel very real when you're thinking them.

It's important to learn more about the mind and how these beliefs work. - especially, how the mind can create exactly the circumstances or situations we are thinking about. Even the bad ones. This is powerful stuff.

The subconscious mind is a subset of our entire brain system. There are really three types of processing controls in the brain. First is the unconscious mind. It controls things like breathing.

Next is the conscious mind. It is the part of the brain you are using to process the words on this page, to think thoughts, meditate, create and sort information. It is the part of your brain that gets very busy, congested and filled with information and random bits of thinking, songs and entire paragraphs of text. It is that little monster or angel on your shoulder that tells you great things or hurtful things about yourself.

Last is the subconscious mind. The subconscious mind is kind of like a factory, processing the thoughts that your conscious mind gives it. It has no control or discerning capabilities to determine whether a thought is productive and serves you well, or tears you down and makes you cry. Either way, it just goes about its business, carrying out the thoughts you send to it.

If you can, picture the subconscious mind like a bunch of little workers, running around to make sure your thoughts are carried out. When you say to yourself "This is hard work," then the subconscious goes to work, making sure your thoughts are carried out and the result is "This is hard." The subconscious mind has no line between good and bad, it simply works to the logical conclusion, which is the ability to make your thoughts come to fruition.

The subconscious mind does not understand things like "can't," and it is unable to comprehend the difference between what you want and don't want. Like a picture in your mind, it only sees the end result, and goes about achieving that end result. The subconscious mind has a lot to do with what actually shows up in your life, based on the pictures, words and language you use to describe what you want.

For instance, consider what it takes to train a dog to sit. Many dog trainers use a praise method to show the dog when they did something agreeable. Using the mind, they are able to create a picture of a desired result - in this case getting a dog to sit. Most people, however, think very hard about what they don't want. In the case of the dog, they may concentrate not on sitting, but on not having the dog run away. In the mind, the picture of the dog running away - which is the exact image of what you do not want - is clear. The subconscious goes to work to make sure the end result is achieved and presto! the dog runs away.

The idea is to break negative subconscious beliefs. There is a Process to enable you to do exactly that. Here it is -

First, think. What beliefs are holding you back? Do you feel not worthy of success? Not smart enough? Not lucky enough? What originally led you to believe the thought(s) that is/are holding you back? Take one, for a start -

Say you grew up in a family where money was tight. You remember hearing your parents say, "We'll never get ahead. To get ahead I this life, you have to have breaks. We just don't have that kind of luck." You listened to that and internalized it, growing up to believe that the deck is stacked against you. That, no matter how hard you work, the Universe is predisposed to keeping you in a state of lack. And so your work habits keep you sabotaging yourself - a way for your subconscious mind to stop you from being successful, and therefore disloyal to your family, who never achieved any great measure of success.

Now, close your eyes. Take a few deep breaths and get very comfortable. Imagine being in a very beautiful place, a safe place - somewhere where you feel completely at ease and relaxed. Perhaps at the beach? The sand is white and perfect, with waves crashing up onto it at frequent and even intervals. The sky is a perfect and beautiful blue, and the sound of the surf is soothing and comforting. Sit down in the sand and relax.

Now, bring your parents into your mind's eye picture, and have them sit down with you. When you've done that, say these words. "Folks," say to them in your mind, "I have an opportunity to be successful beyond my wildest dreams. I'm holding myself back out of loyalty to you and I don't want to do that anymore. I am choosing to be very successful in my personal, professional and financial life. I love you very much and respect everything that you are, and I want you to support me in this choice."

In your mind's eye, see your parents smiling, and speaking words of comfort and encouragement, such as - "Darling, don't you dare follow in our footsteps. You are a smart, wise woman and we want you to have anything you dream of. We love you too, and support you in your decisions."

Now, don't you suddenly feel lighter, freer? The monsters in your mind quieted? Open your eyes slowly. Know that you can use this new tool any time you feel concern for your well-being.

Beliefs such as "I'm not good enough" that can haunt your conscious mind, need close scrutiny. Believing the "I'm not good enough" part can be easy, but where does it come from? Somebody gave you the belief! But who? When? If not your parents or other close family members, perhaps important people in your childhood? Perhaps a teacher once said to you, "You're smart, but you don't try hard enough. You could do better." Your conscious mind will then repeat the teacher's belief, telling you that you can do better. Soon, the "I can do better" belief is firmly implanted in your brain, pervasive in your conscious thoughts.

Once you recognize that this was someone else's belief and not your own (and not necessarily true!), you can begin to let go of it. Using the tool you were given above, have a meditation session with yourself to remove the mental file that holds the "I can do better" belief. Replace it with a new file in your mind called, "I do things well the first time." What a difference it can make in your thinking.

Then continue, taking a close look at many of the self defeating beliefs you've held, eliminating them one by one from your life, your vocabulary and your conscious thought. Once you bring your beliefs to the surface and determine the source, letting go of them is the next step to help you evolve as the successful person you want to be.

About Stephanie L. Frank
Stephanie FrankFounder and President of SuccessIQ UniversityBest Selling Author, The Accidental Millionaire
Book Stephanie to Speak or read what she has to say about achieving goals, leadership, peak performance, personal empowerment, persuasion and influence, productivity, creating systems, and time mastery on her blog web site: http://www.stephaniefrank.com
What is your Success IQ? Take our short quiz and find out. www.SuccessIQQuiz.com
Claim your free gift, The 13 Vital Traits of Super Effective People here: http://successiqu.com/gift/

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2010-03-17T00:29:00.002+05:30

Life Is Downstream

by Carrie Fleharty

I have a picture on my desk that was given to me by a friend. It is a closeup of a stream in Sedona, Arizona and in it is the rush of the water and a few rocks. Obviously when I look at it, I can almost hear the water and see the white of the stream as it flows downstream. When I get upset or uptight about life, I can look at this picture and know that life is meant to be lived as one. In other words we need to let go and be in the flow and in the moment.

We, humans are made to encounter stress, but how we deal with that stress is entirely up to us. I ask you one question; "Are you flowing downstream along with the current, or are you attempting to swim upstream?" Makes a difference on how we deal with our daily stress. The stream naturally flows downstream with the universal law of gravity. Anything that is in the stream will also flow downstream. If you were in a raft or a canoe floating naturally you would want to go downstream. If you tried paddling upstream chances are that you would be working yourself so hard, and get nowhere. Do you have that picture in your mind flailing around paddling and paddling to end up in the same spot?

Guess what happens when you stop paddling? That's right you and your craft would end up floating downstream. You might bounce along the rocks and from bounce from one shoreline to the other, but you would gently flow downstream. That's the picture we want to paint in your subconscious mind. We want you to float downstream without working and worrying yourself to death while under stress.

No, it's not easy at first, but definitely it is worthwhile. As humans we can't get rid of our stress because we work, we are in relationship with each, and we have deadlines. What makes our stress much harder on ourselves is when we decide to take control. We can find out as much information as possible, and guide ourselves to a good decision, but the stress is still there. Think of it this way: "Worry is you in the canoe or raft paddling and paddling upstream, getting nowhere. Stress is the exertion of you doing all of that paddling."

When under stress: Take breaths, and turn the canoe around and flow downstream. As you are traveling downstream take time to gather all the information needed for that particular worry. Once all information is gathered and gleaned then make the decision and let go. You'll find yourself floating downstream easily, and with less of a burden. Hop aboard your canoe is ready for your adventure downstream.
About Carrie Fleharty
Carrie Fleharty by day is a mild mannered school librarian, but at night she's become a successful author and a Personal Life Coach. She enjoys helping people become successful in any endeavor that they feel is important to them. She enjoys and embraces change and sees it as a way to improve herself. This improvement helps her associate with the needs of her coaching clients.
She intends to keep improving her life, and keeps challenging herself to become a better person. She thoroughly enjoys expressing herself through the written word. And has written three books "Quest to Live" http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/quest-to-live/6031779 "Changes and Shifts: a Personal Journey" and "A Poet's Mind and Soul." Available at www.success.bz
Her soul ignites through spiritual fire. She understands that the right spark can take a person to new meanings and new beginnings through a deeper sense of self. She is a seeker; she seeks Truth, the Devine, Spirituality, and Love. She believes that a spark will flame up to spread Truth. This Truth will be made known to all who seek.
After all "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure." A Return to Love: Reflections on a Course in Miracles by Marianne Williamson. Sometimes all it takes is a helping hand. I will be that helping hand in either personal, spiritual, health and wellness or being a mentor.

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2010-03-17T00:23:00.002+05:30

7 Keys to a Successful Life

by Stephanie L. Frank

Much has been written on what it takes to win the game of life. A lifetime of experience says it's not as complicated as most people make it. Here's my list. Take what you want.

1. You can't succeed alone. Every story of success is a story of people working together, each contributing their own unique talents, skillsets and abilities. Do what you do best. And let others fill in the gaps.

2. Perseverance always wins. You can't fail if you don't quit. Find yet another way to make it work. Whatever *it* is for you. As Winston Churchill said in Britain's darkest hour, "Never, never, never give up."

3. Take time from your busi-ness every day - even if only 10 or 15 minutes - to center yourself. Some call it meditation. It'll make you more effective and you'll accomplish much more.

4. If you don't like where you are today, don't expect tomorrow to be any different without change. Change your attitude, your priorities, your activities. Change from being rea-c-tive to being c-rea-tive.

5. You are a product of your thoughts. It's true that 'thoughts are things'. Whatever you think about most of the time is what you create in your life. Hint: If you want more than you think you have now, don't *ever* give energy to thoughts of lack.

6. You always receive what you give. Consequently, if you want help, be helpful. If you want honest relationships, be truthful. If you want success, help others get what they want. If you want love, be loving. The corollary is that you always find what you're looking for.

7. Life really is like a movie. You write the script. You're the star, director & critic. And like a movie, it ends. What's important in life is not just the journey, but the quality of the journey. That's why it's important to make every day the best it can be, 'cuz now is all you have.

What the heck. You might as well enjoy life. None of us are gettin' out alive.

About Stephanie L. Frank
Stephanie FrankFounder and President of SuccessIQ UniversityBest Selling Author, The Accidental Millionaire
Book Stephanie to Speak or read what she has to say about achieving goals, leadership, peak performance, personal empowerment, persuasion and influence, productivity, creating systems, and time mastery on her blog web site: http://www.stephaniefrank.com
What is your Success IQ? Take our short quiz and find out. www.SuccessIQQuiz.com
Claim your free gift, The 13 Vital Traits of Super Effective People here: http://successiqu.com/gift/

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2010-03-17T00:14:00.003+05:30

Are bad employees ruining your business?

by Stephanie L. Frank I

It's a brand new day. You wake up after a great night's sleep and get ready for work. You have objectives to meet, deadlines approaching and meetings scheduled which will make for a very full day. After a quick breakfast and a cup of your favorite morning beverage, you head to work.

Then your day goes haywire.

Traffic jams make you cranky. Nothing on the news you wish to hear. The parking lot is full and it is hot outside. You finally make it to the office already tired and sweaty from the commute.

You walk in to find your employees, the same ones who are supposed to be helping you move forward, stuck in permanent water-cooler chatter. They scurry back to work just as you arrive.

Mistakes, apologies, Internet surfing and just plain goofing off are ruining your productivity and the productivity and profitability of your company. In short, you have C.R.A.P. - Confusion, Resistance, Apathy and Procrastination in the driver's seat. It's time for a new approach to getting things done!

Before we go any further, let's get real here for a minute. Do you really believe that people come to work saying to themselves "I wonder how I can mess up this company and get paid for it?"

Probably not. Down deep, every human being wants to be a part of something they can be proud of. The rampant "what's in it for me" apathetic approach to work cannot be tolerated. At the same time, it's an almost insurmountable job for an organization or individual to be responsible for changing the attitude of every employee individually. While simple steps can be taken to reprimand bad employees, the root of the problem must be addressed as an organization before real change is to take place.

The root of the solution to the problem is a simple formula called F.A.S.T. In short, your employees need to have the right Focus, take the right Action, have the right Systems, and be on the right Team in order to provide your company with the most profitable return on investment.

So how does this formula work? Let's take a look:

1. The Right Focus - Bad employee behavior is rampant when employees or managers are isolated and do not know the "bigger picture." People need to know what is expected of them and why. With downsizing happening, many employees have taken on the job of others and have lost sight of this original focus. They are unsure how their job fits in with the company objectives, which can lead to resistance and procrastination.

Additionally, employees need to know the actual requirements of their job and what is considered success. For example, a bank teller may be required to process a particular type of transaction in a specified amount of time, or may be required to process x number of customers in an hour. This sets a guideline for both employees and management/leadership of the organization by which success or failure can be measured.

2. The Right Action - Time productivity is a primary component of success, yet we are all bombarded with daily distractions, interruptions and "can you just fit this in now?" requests. Ill-equipped to handle the ever-increasing amount of information, email and phone messages, many employees are simply overwhelmed by the amount of work required and goof off because they can't handle it all.

In order to set people up for success, allow them to have an hour a day of "focus time" where they are not allowed to be interrupted. They will use this time to tackle those high priority items on their list of tasks to complete. This promotes a feeling of accomplishment and success and demotes the frustration of having too much to do.

3.The Right Systems - Take a look at how things are being done - do employees take the simplest and cleanest route to accomplishment or are they stuck in the process maze? The harder it is to get things done, the more your employees are apt to be confused, nervous or just plain resistant to going through the pre-established systems.

It may be time to do an internal systems check. Ask your employees which systems make it difficult to do their job in an efficient and timely manner. Prioritize those which are most often reported, and fix it. Create new and more streamlined systems that do the work with less effort, and employees will step up to be more productive

4.The Right Team - We all know how important it is to have the right person for the job, and the right team to make it happen. Yet all too often, people are asked to step into doing jobs that have been vacated with disastrous results. Simple tasks to some people may be daunting to others, which leads to decline of the organization.

It may be time for an internal individual audit of each of your team members. Schedule a private interview with each one and ask them what they believe they contribute to the team, what is working for them and what is not working for them. Then ask them what they need to be completely successful in their position. The results may shock you, and when you take corrective action, they will also take corrective action, and profitability (not to mention productivity) will grow to new heights.

People have always been, and probably will always be the single most important asset to any organization. At the same time, those same people can be the biggest problem in any organization. By putting this formula into place, you will immediately see where you or your organization can create a structure that enhances both employee happiness and productivity which eliminates confusion, resistance, apathy and procrastination - and all those wasted trips to the water cooler.

About Stephanie L. Frank
Stephanie FrankFounder and President of SuccessIQ UniversityBest Selling Author, The Accidental Millionaire
Book Stephanie to Speak or read what she has to say about achieving goals, leadership, peak performance, personal empowerment, persuasion and influence, productivity, creating systems, and time mastery on her blog web site: http://www.stephaniefrank.com
What is your Success IQ? Take our short quiz and find out. www.SuccessIQQuiz.com
Claim your free gift, The 13 Vital Traits of Super Effective People here: http://successiqu.com/gift/

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2010-03-17T00:02:00.003+05:30

10 Ways to Get Alot More Done With A Lot Less Stress

by Stephanie L. Frank

When it comes to getting things done in your business, do you find yourself drowning in overwhelm? Do you feel frustrated or confused by trying to figure out where to start or what comes next? Is procrastination the default for handling your stress?

It doesn't have to be that way.

There ARE ways to get more done - with less stress, every day. The question is, do you want to stay stuck where you are, or take the leap and bring more joy and triumph of accomplishment into your day?

Here are 10 simple things you can do today to breathe deeper, be more focused and more productive - with less stress!

1. Visual Clarity

Is visual clutter causing your mind to be cluttered? Stop shuffling papers around and start your day by taking 10 minutes to clear your desk. Think of it as a personal gift to yourself and create space for you. You will feel immediately refreshed and ready to get things done.

2. Free Yourself from Procrastination

You've got your "to do" list for the day. Take 2 minutes and prioritize the "have to" tasks you don't like to do. First determine what you can delegate to others and give them what they need to do it. Next, knock your "have to's" out first thing in the morning and before you can thin about procrastinating you'll already be done!

3. Show Me the Money

Schedule one (1) uninterrupted hour every day to focus only on high payoff activities. I said un-interrupted. Turn off the phone. Close the door. Tell others you are not to be interrupted for the next 60 minutes - unless the tsunami is at your door or Oprah is on the phone.

4. Take Control of Your Email - Part 1

Turn OFF the automatic send/receive on your email so YOU are in control. Schedule time in your day to check and respond to email at specific times, instead of reacting every time one comes flying in your inbox.

If you absolutely cannot turn it off, eliminate the sound and visual notification for a distraction-free computer session.

5. Take Control of Your Email - Part 2

Create an email account just for subscriptions to online newsletters. If your email program supports it, automatically file incoming mail so you can keep your inbox full of more urgent items.

6. Supercharge Your Environment for Focus

Some people work better with some kind of external stimulation. If that's you, turn on soft music or a soothing waterfall to stimulate your auditory system, light a scented candle to stimulate your olfactory system, and set a timer to create urgency. Then get to work!

7. Get It Done

Are you getting stuck in procrastination? Maybe the project is too big. If you have a list where the task is not immediately evident, it needs to be broken down. Ask yourself "What is the exact next step I need to take to get this task done?" Keep breaking it down until the answer is "Do it!"

8. Spark Your Creativity

If you're still having trouble getting something done, and you've broken the list down - it's time for a change. When you absolutely have to get something done and you're just stuck, change your environment. Go outside, get some fresh air, change rooms, turn on a fun song that makes you get up and dance. The change of scenery creates a change of your state and is an instant creativity spark.

9. Simplify Travel

Do you travel frequently? Are you still going into your suitcase (even though you returned last week) to pull out your toothpaste and shampoo? First, go unpack and put away your suitcase. Next, buy two sets of toiletries and store one in your suitcase so you stop stealing form your medicine cabinet and you're always ready to go!

10. Give Yourself Permission

Take at least one day a week and give yourself permission to do whatever you want, whenever you want for that day. If the mere thought of giving yourself a day creates panic and overwhelm, start small, but take at least an hour. that way, when you make the choice to get something done, it's much easier )and often more fun) than being in the mental state of "have to" do.

Putting these simple systems into place means taking action, being consistent and being willing to do things differently. If you implement these tips, you will fuel your productivity, have more fun in your business and put more money in your bank account. Guaranteed.

About Stephanie L. Frank
Stephanie FrankFounder and President of SuccessIQ UniversityBest Selling Author, The Accidental Millionaire
Book Stephanie to Speak or read what she has to say about achieving goals, leadership, peak performance, personal empowerment, persuasion and influence, productivity, creating systems, and time mastery on her blog web site: http://www.stephaniefrank.com
What is your Success IQ? Take our short quiz and find out. www.SuccessIQQuiz.com
Claim your free gift, The 13 Vital Traits of Super Effective People here: http://successiqu.com/gift/

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2010-03-16T23:57:00.003+05:30

What Can Empathy Teach Us About Business?

by Ray B Williams

Greed is out. Empathy is in. That's how Frans de Waal begins his book, The Age of Empathy: Nature's Lessons For A Kinder Society. De Waal is a biologist, professor of psychology and director of the Living Link Center at Emory University. In 2007, Time magazine selected him as one of the world's most influential people.

The global financial crisis of 2008, together with the election of a new American President representing a vastly different political and social perspective, has produced a "seismic shift in society," argues de Waal. The distinguished scientist says it is long overdue that we jettisoned our beliefs about human nature--proposed by economists and politicians--that human society is modeled on the perpetual struggle for survival that exists in nature. De Waal says this is mere projection on our part. Nature is replete with examples of cooperation and empathy.

Empathy, de Waal explains, is the social glue that holds human society together. He argues that modern psychology and neuroscience research supports the concept that "empathy is an automated response over which we have limited control." He points to the fact that many animals survive not by eliminating each other, or by keeping everything for themselves, but by cooperating and sharing.

Given all we know about empathy in other animal species, why do we persist in seeing human existence, particularly in business, as a fight for survival, with winners and losers? De Waal calls this the "macho origin myth" which insists that the human species has been waging war on itself as millennia as a reflection of our true nature. What has been ignored is the fact that empathy has been evident during that entire time. De Waal points to a mass of examples of sacrifice, empathy, co-operation and fairness in humans and other animals' species. For example, how many people know that most soldiers are unwilling to fire at the enemy, even in battle?

Unfortunately, philosophy and religion as well as science have long suggested that caring and kindness do not come from our biological nature, but are ways that humans overcome biological instincts. In contrast, aggression, dominance and violence have been attributed to our DNA.

According to de Waal, for humans and other advanced animals, sharing, compromise and justice matters. He argues that feeling and acting with empathy for others is as automatic as aggression.

De Waal explains how empathy has three layers. The first layer is emotional contagion, where the flush of emotions runs through a group of people during a dramatic event. The next layer is feeling for others, our empathetic response when we see another's predicament. And the third layer is "targeted helping," the ability to feel the way another does. He suggests that the historical predominant view of humans as slaves to a "selfish gene" becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. We have competing genes--some selfish and aggressive, an others selfless and empathetic--and they are constantly jostling for position. People are complicated and complex, not instinctively cruel and selfish; they are capable of caring and empathy with equal passion and depth.

Given the nature of business survival in a competitive world, de Waal's clarion call that greed is out and empathy is in, may be a call we should all hear.

About Ray B Williams
Ray B Williams is Co-Founder of Success IQ University a company based in Phoenix, Arizona providing the most innovative products and services to help professionals, entrepreneurs and business owners be more successful in life and work.
Ray is also President of Ray B Williams Associates, a company based in Vancouver B.C., providing executive coaching services.
Ray has been a CEO, HR executive, management consultant and executive coach and leadership trainer for over thirty years, working with leaders throughout the world. He is also a Certified Hypnotherapist and Master NLP Coach. Ray has written two books books on leadership and writes a regular column for the National Post, Fast Company and Psychology Today.
Ray is in demand as a speaker, coach, trainer, consultant and author throughout North America.
www.successiqu.com www.raywilliamsassociates.com;
Take our Success IQ Quiz for free to see how successful you are in life! www.successiqquiz.com

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2010-03-16T23:52:00.002+05:30

Overcoming The Fear Of Success

by Karen L. Donald

In my last article regarding goal setting, I outlined some keys for accountability. This is an important element of your success for many reasons, answering to someone else is an area that is comfortable for many. Another reason that you may need to have someone push or monitor you is because of your fear of success.

You may wonder who on earth could be afraid of being successful. Many more that you can imagine. In my workshops, we find that most, who thought they were not afraid, really were. They soon find out that procrastination has become their best friend because of fear.

Part of your healing process for success means that you will have to move past your doubts about yourself. When you have been put in a position to stop believing in yourself, fear sets in and you find yourself living within your comfort zone. Moving out of that zone or box in the only way to real success. Fear of failure has been put in many of us since we were in our childhood.

This too must be a daily challenge that you give yourself to succeed.While preparing your daily goal list, it is very important to include things that you never accomplished and were hesitant to do because of your fears. It is much easier to sit in a bad or stagnant place rather than to move ahead. In a place of complacency, you will find that there will be many others there to root you on. These are usually people who not only are satisfied because you joined them, but they are extremely happy to keep you there. So your feelings of non-support are valid. You will talk together about your goals and dreams. Your relationship is guaranteed to change after you leave the nest of do nothing to having as little as one goal achieved. Another benefit of the comfort zone is that, in there, you can collect words of pity that are comforting when fear is around.

When you succeed, not only do you forfeit those comforting words, but you have to step up to the plate as one that is doing something good and accomplishing his/her goals. That puts you on "front - street". People will recognize that you are doing something with your life and start to pay attention to you in a different manner. The very thought makes people sick to their stomachs! Never the less, you have to suck it up and keep moving if you ever want to see positive success in your life.

The fear of success has caused many throughout the years ignore the call for greatness and move into the valley of mediocre. Success stories are built on what failed first. The key is understanding that you will fall and THEN get back up again. You are positioned for power when mistakes or pitfalls are in your life. Getting out is what makes you stand out and gain control of that particular circumstance. Be honest to yourself about the temporary failure. If it was you, change it. If it was someone else, change it. There are a million and one reasons that your first plan may not work, but do not let it be that you were afraid to make a mark in your lifetime. It is also important to remember that walking the road to success does mean that your life will change. Those areas in your life that were set up for convenience and comfort will probably have to be given up.

There are many men and women that I speak to that have had to receive public assistance in some form. Many will tell you that when it became time to give up the help, they could not do it.

There was a fear that without it they could not live. What they failed to see is that it was time to move on because their life had turned for the better. The same fears come into personal relationships. I will always remember a conversation I had with a young lady who told me she chose to be in emotional bondage with a man that abused her rather than to be with a good man that adored her. Her very statement was that it is "easier to except the underdog". To go with the professional, God fearing man would mean that she would have to face her giants and she was not ready for that.

What dreams of success do you have that are drowned out by fear? While setting my goals for my business this year, my accomplishments were made by facing what scared me the most.

Moving in my fear made me a stronger person first in my personal life then to others who are now looking to me for solutions. I am no longer afraid of success; I am afraid of not being successful.

About Karen L. Donald
Karen L. Donald is truly a woman of personal victory. Overcoming battles of abuse, addiction and trauma, she is rising up as one of the most demanded speakers in the United States. As an established entrepreneur, Karen founded Donald and Associates. As a trainer, International speaker and 20 years of Multimedia experience, she has formed a team of specialist across the country that offer training and consultation through workshops, conferencing and newsletters. In 2009, you will be able enjoy her powerful seminars via CD/DVD, public television, internet and more!She is well known for her area of expertise, Inner Healing of the total man. Karen offers training for sales teams, community organizations and individuals who are looking to overcome barriers in their lives. She has a message of hope and testimony of victory that is her message and medicine for empowerment and emotional healing.When asked of her success, she says that being transparent in all areas of her life is used to help others. Her words of encouragement to all are simple but powerful. "Everyday you live is a second chance at life!"

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2010-03-16T23:04:00.003+05:30

The Secret to a Healthy Retirement: Keep Working

by Ray B Williams

Since the Great Depression, a commonly held perspective on the good life is that we can all look forward to retirement, when we didn't have to work any more. We would be more relaxed and healthier away from the stresses of work.

There's a couple of flaws in that argument. For one thing, retirement, like pensions was an invention of the depression, intended to deal with the problem of unemployment. Prior to the depression, and in past ages, the concept of retirement didn't exist. AARP in the U.S. report from a survey done in 2008 that 70% of workers plan to continue working past their retirement age.

Now recent research questions the assumption not working anymore will improve your health. Researchers, led by Mo Wang, an associate professor at the University of Maryland, studied the health of 12,000 men and women between the ages of 51 and 61, using data from the U.S. national Health and Retirement Study. The research study was published in the Journal of Occupational Health Psychology.

Among the conclusions of the study were: Compared to those who quite working altogether, those people who described themselves as officially retired but who continued to work part-time or in temp jobs were less likely to be diagnosed with either diseases--high blood pressure, diabetes, cancer, lung disease, hart disease, stroke, psychiatric problems and arthritis. Those who worked at least part-time were also less likely to show signs of functional decline, or inability to perform the activities of daily living. The findings were true for all categories of age, sex, financial statutes, education and physical and mental health before retirement.

This study supported much earlier studies, such as a study at a major hospital in 1920 that showed that people who worked after retirement lived longer and a Yale University study published in the American Journal of Industrial Medicine, that showed being laid off or fired close to retirement or old age had a devastating effect on an individual's health, with particular reference to stroke. The American Geriatrics society reported that people over age 65 who worked as volunteers had half the death risk of those who did not.

The benefits of continuing to work, other than financial resources are social interaction, and opportunities to use your brain, the University of Maryland researchers reported. And perhaps most important of all, people who continue to work past retirement age have a sense of purpose, which has a positive impact on their health.

A final argument for continuing to work is the cost of health services for aging Baby Boomers, the bulk of the population. It may be more economical for them to keep working, and stay healthier, than to have millions of them retire and be less healthy.

About Ray B Williams
Ray B Williams is Co-Founder of Success IQ University a company based in Phoenix, Arizona providing the most innovative products and services to help professionals, entrepreneurs and business owners be more successful in life and work.
Ray is also President of Ray B Williams Associates, a company based in Vancouver B.C., providing executive coaching services.
Ray has been a CEO, HR executive, management consultant and executive coach and leadership trainer for over thirty years, working with leaders throughout the world. He is also a Certified Hypnotherapist and Master NLP Coach. Ray has written two books books on leadership and writes a regular column for the National Post, Fast Company and Psychology Today.
Ray is in demand as a speaker, coach, trainer, consultant and author throughout North America.
www.successiqu.com www.raywilliamsassociates.com;
Take our Success IQ Quiz for free to see how successful you are in life! www.successiqquiz.com
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2010-03-16T22:56:00.003+05:30

A Gratitude Tale

by Carrie Fleharty

Love brought families together, and love is the common force of each person's existence. This love that binds the family together is often taken for granted. If we were to dissect the superficial front of families we would find, strife, jealousy, fear and hatred and no holiday within the family feels like a blessing.

Enter with me the tale of two families. One family focuses on abundance, gratitude, blessings and love. The other family focuses on power, individual differences, lack, and fear. Thanksgiving, Christmas and the upcoming New Year are times when our thoughts turn to our birth families as we attempt to share time with our families.

Family one understands that life is challenging, beautiful and different for each member of the family. The parents are supportive of their children, and provide the necessities of life. They enjoy each other's company, and no one seems to be fighting for compliments, being heard or being seen. This family believes that love brought them together, and love will sustain them throughout the life aging process.

This number one family believes that life is full, and gratefulness and thankfulness is an everyday occurence. Love is endless in this family. Each individual brings to the family their own uniqueness which brings more depth within the family. With more depth comes richness and more meaning within the family. In fact deeper conversations and sharing becomes as easy as pie. Strife, dis-respect or jealousy seem to be only conversation topics. Personalities will on occasion clash, (after all we are human) but that's just it; the clash comes, and is gone within minutes. These members of this family share the heartaches, trials, struggles equally. They also share abundance and love equally as well.

Family number two is quite different. Each member holds grudges, and they come together under their parental control even as adults, and are still struggling to be their own person. The strife is evident as the gathering starts. This family lives in fear, lack and despise each other.

They become jealous of what the other has accomplished, and are not supportive at all. When they gather under one roof they revert back to the conditions of childhood. The parents are in control, and the children know nothing.

In this second family everyone struggles to find their own voice, and they want to be seen as themselves, not what someone sees them. The moment the family arrives the strife is evident, and underlying. Each member feels the strain of not being loved, and not having enough love to go around. The fun and cheer of the holiday doesn't last very long, for someone will say something that will feel unwelcome or unwanted and the strife begins.

This second family doesn't intend to have holiday gatherings like this, but they ar not sure how else they can be. They are being the kind of people that they were taught from generation to generation. This family must walk on eggshells when sharing personal thoughts, and endeavors.

This family gets along, but not without judgment, shame or blame.

Family number one, focuses on abundance, and love. Family number two focuses on what they don't have, or their own fear. Family number one is a rare family, but that doesn't mean that family number two can't be like family number one.

This is the time of year to begin to focus our thoughts and minds on abundance, and love. We have so much to be thankful for, and we each are unique. If allowed each individual in the family has something worthwhile to share, and to give. Love is always abundant. We must let go of our judgments, our shame and our willingness to blame others for our own behaviors.

Take time to be grateful for who and what you are. Know that you were brought into this world with love, into a family that truly wants to love. If your family doesn't know or understand how to be a family without blame, shame or judgment then show them through your own actions.

Time and families are precious, and love is abundant.

Be blessed this holiday season. Show and share your love with all.

About Carrie Fleharty
Carrie Fleharty by day is a mild mannered school librarian, but at night she's become a successful author and a Personal Life Coach. She enjoys helping people become successful in any endeavor that they feel is important to them. She enjoys and embraces change and sees it as a way to improve herself. This improvement helps her associate with the needs of her coaching clients.

She intends to keep improving her life, and keeps challenging herself to become a better person. She thoroughly enjoys expressing herself through the written word. And has written three books "Quest to Live" http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/quest-to-live/6031779 "Changes and Shifts: a Personal Journey" and "A Poet's Mind and Soul." Available at www.success.bz
Her soul ignites through spiritual fire. She understands that the right spark can take a person to new meanings and new beginnings through a deeper sense of self. She is a seeker; she seeks Truth, the Devine, Spirituality, and Love. She believes that a spark will flame up to spread Truth. This Truth will be made known to all who seek.
After all "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure." A Return to Love: Reflections on a Course in Miracles by Marianne Williamson. Sometimes all it takes is a helping hand. I will be that helping hand in either personal, spiritual, health and wellness or being a mentor.

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2010-03-16T22:16:00.003+05:30

Avoiding Your Feelings by Focusing on Your Partner

by Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

We all have many addictive ways of avoiding feeling our painful feelings and taking responsibility for them. Some of the ways are obvious, such as using substances and processes. Some of the ways can be very subtle.

Leon often struggled with feeling empty inside. Inner emptiness is a symptom of a lack of love inside, and Leon frequently created this inner lack of love with his self-judgments and staying in his head - ignoring his feelings. Sometimes he would fill the emptiness with food, work or TV. But other times he would act out addictively by bringing up issues - generally the same issues over and over - with his wife Susan.

The major issue he focused on was how they spent money. He would start the conversation by stating, "We really need to talk about the money situation." Susan would feel a knot in her stomach, knowing that Leon was aching for an endless discussion about money that would likely end in a fight and distance. She felt like she was in a no-win: if she talked about money, it would go on for hours and end in anger. If she didn't, she would be accused of withdrawing and running away from problems. There seemed to be no good way out for Susan.

Eventually, Susan learned to trust her feelings and say to Leon, "I will be happy to talk with you about anything when you are open, but right now your energy feels closed. Let me know when you are feeling really great and then we can talk about it." Not surprisingly, Leon never approaches her to talk about money when he is feeling good!

Carole periodically says to Rick, "We need to talk about our lack of communication." Rick immediately knows that Carole is feeling badly and is trying to feel better by getting in to a long and drawn-out conversation about their lack of communication. If he engages, he ends up angry.

If he doesn't, he gets blamed for not communicating. Rick has learned to disengage just as Susan has, saying, "I'd love to communicate with you about anything when you are open, but right now my experience of you is that you are angry, and we are not going to get anywhere. Let me know when you are feeling good and then we can talk about anything you want." Again, when Carole is feeling happy, she never brings up their lack of communication!

The subject can be anything - child raising, how time is spend, how much TV kids watch, health, nutrition, how clean or dirty the house is, chores that need to be done. It is not that these things don't need to be discussed - they often do. But there is a huge difference between approaching your partner from a true desire to learn and resolve issues, or a desire to avoid your anxiety, emptiness, loneliness, heartache, or helplessness.

LOVINGLY DISENGAGING

If you are the partner at the other end of what may feel like an attack - even though it is couched as a question or a statement of wanting to talk - your best bet is to trust your stomach! If your stomach gets tight when your partner comes to you to talk, trust it. Learn to take loving care of yourself by refusing to talk when you are picking up your partner's needy, abandoned, or angry energy. Recognize that your partner is acting out addictively to avoid responsibility for his or her own feelings, and that trying to talk will only create more conflict.

However, it is most important when you disengage, that you do not withdraw your love. It might even be helpful if you give your partner a sincere hug, coming from your compassion at knowing that your partner is hurting. Let your partner know that when he or she is open to learning, you will be there - to talk about an issue or to be of help with whatever your partner is feeling.

About Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® healing process. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover your joy? Learn Inner Bonding now! Click here for a FREE Inner Bonding Course, and visit our website at www.innerbonding.com for more articles and help. Phone Sessions Available. Join the thousands we have already helped and visit us now!

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2010-03-16T21:54:00.004+05:30

Balancing Work and Life: 8 Tips to Help Women Entrepreneurs Maintain a Healthy Lifestyle

by Karel Murray

As a woman entrepreneur who travels a lot for work, I know it's hard to balance work and life.

Because I travel so much, I constantly find myself watching the behavior of other people. The variety of personalities always astounds me.

During a recent two week stint where I spoke at five different engagements in 4 different states, I couldn't help but zero in on individuals who couldn't sit still.

Cell phone and impassioned discussions with work counterparts fill the air as the talkers stride down the airport halls. I've heard individuals have cell phone conversations in bathroom stalls, along the street and during their grocery shopping excursions. I swear competitions will evolve around who has the fastest draw off the belt in answering that urgent ring.

Here Are My Two Important Questions For You to Answer:

1. Do we really have to be that available?
2. What happened to "down" time?

During the fourteen day tour of bookings, other work surfaced. Now faced with handling the keynote and training sessions as well as those business items piling up at home, stress continued to mount.

How did I know I was stressed?

I woke up at 3:00 AM five nights in a row to make sure I hadn't over slept the 6 AM wake-up call. No peaceful rest for me...there was business to attend to!

Is Your Desire to Succeed Harming Your Health?

Our need to succeed and be perceived as competent, efficient and effective often interferes with our duty to take care of our bodies, minds and families. In fact, Fast Company's magazine recently cited research indication that only 1 out of 10 people would actually change their lifestyle if they knew they were going to die without the making the necessary changes.

For example, a good friend of mine, Jake, recently suffered a severe heart attack. He was healthy one moment and in the hospital the next. When the physician told him to take six weeks off work, Jake's immediate response was "I can't! The backlog of work will be too much and probably give me another heart attack from the stress of playing catch up!" The physician, with obvious misgivings, shortened the recovery period to two weeks and included strict dietary instructions.

He was making the conscious choice to put his work over his own health. Now what are you committed to?

Here Are 8 Commitments To Help You Achieve A Positive Lifestyle Today:

1. Take inventory of what makes you genuinely happy. As you list each item, evaluate what you do every day to ensure that joy remains solidly in your life. Also list things you do that jeopardize your ability to be happy. Sometimes we are our own worst enemies and don't even know it.

2. Be accountable for the decisions you make. Every time you say "just a minute while I finish these e-mails" and you end up missing dinner with your spouse, understand you chose to stay "plugged in" to the business. It doesn't control you...you control your choices.

3. Learn to turn off the phone. Voice mail was created for a reason. Use it wisely.

4. Laugh at the absurdities that otherwise contribute to your stress level. A young lady in shorts, sitting next to me at the airport terminal, was the recent victim of a walk-by sneezing.

Another passenger inadvertently spit on her leg in his convulsion. He ambled on oblivious. She, however, quietly dug in her purse and pulled out a tissue. She wiped her leg, careful to shield her actions from others... Except I caught her eye and we both howled with laughter. Bless her heart, she showed class in an awkward situation and exemplified the statement "Stuff happens...deal with it!"

5. Learn to say "NO" with love and affection. Only you know what your priorities and life goals are. Evaluate what others ask you to do, and then determine your response in terms of how it interfaces with your plans.

6. Find out how your behaviors affect the ones you love most. Sometimes a mirror held up before us can tell us more than what our mind eye chooses to rationalize. It may not be pretty, but at least you will have an honest starting point on which to make your lifestyle decisions.

7. Handle your business tasks correctly the first time you deal with them. Quite frequently I consult with clients who feel like the rats in the race are winning. They are overwhelmed by the volume of work they deal with so they do the same tasks over and over again. My advice is simple - slow down and check twice. Not a bad motto to live by.

8. Balance your high-tech and low-tech mentality. Using email exclusively only broadens the distance between us and our clients. Find ways to make your contact personal. A warm voice over the phone or a quick face to face visit can go a long way to cement a relationship. I've learned that it's the eyes, body language, and tone of voice that speaks volumes - imparting information that e-mail could never provide.

We have to define how far we are willing to push ourselves before we damage the positive aspects of our lives that give us true satisfaction and joy.

It's my choice. It's your choice... business as usual or live your life like you mean it. Choose well.

If your choice is to live your life then check out my new book, "Hitting Our Stride: Women, Work and What Matters" at karel.com

Karel Murray

About Karel Murray
Karel Murray (http://www.karel.com/) is a Certified Speaking Professional, author of "Hitting Our Stride: Women, Work and What Matters" and business trainer who helps women entrepreneurs and executives resolve interpersonal issues and balance their work/personal lives. Now, you can listen to her exciting, free interviews that will help you maintain and sustain a healthy business and a healthy lifestyle at http://www.justforamomentpodcast.com/

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2010-03-16T21:40:00.003+05:30

Live Your Life - How to Live Your Life by Changing Your Limiting Beliefs

by Hani Al-Qasem

Our beliefs form the foundation, the core of who we are.

They form the thoughts we think, what we say and how we behave and act.

What we believe within ourselves we then create outside of ourselves. It has been said that our inner world creates our outer world.

If we have beliefs that support us, that are aligned with our desires or dreams, then we will more
than likely achieve what we want almost effortlessly.

On the other hand, if we have beliefs that do not support us, that are in conflict with our goals and dream, when we have limiting beliefs, we then limit and sabotage our likelihood of success.

We limit our chances of attaining what we can have or achieve.

For you to live your life the way you want to you will have to identify those subconscious beliefs that limit you and then change them into subconscious beliefs that support you.

Most of us are used to living our daily lives in a certain way, by habit or default, and yet we are not happy with what we get and we do not know why we do not get the things that we want.

The solution is to step out to get what you want.

Why not step out and identify your current subconscious limiting beliefs in a certain area and challenge them; change them all one by one.

Challenge all of your automatic negative thoughts and beliefs.

Let us use coffee as an example; what would happen if you did not have that morning coffee? What would happen if you wake up tomorrow morning and instead of rushing for that cup of strong coffee you changed pace and went for a large glass of fruit juice?

How do you think that may affect your day?

Would you have the jitters, the shakes? Would you be saying: "Oh my God. I need that coffee to function. I must have my morning coffee! I just cannot do without it."

What has happened here is you have made it your habit, your belief that you need that morning coffee to start your day off on the right track; energised by caffeine.

You made it a habit to have your morning coffee. You think you need it. You believe you need it to wake you up.

For you to live your life on your own terms, you have to start off by changing your routine, your habits, and you will need to change your subconscious limiting beliefs around coffee.

In fact, you do not really need that coffee to turbo-charge your day. You think you do and so you turned that thought into a belief.

By changing your beliefs, the things you believe, you can actually change your reality.

Spend some time looking your subconscious beliefs and ask yourself these two questions: "Why do I believe this belief?" Then ask: "Does this belief support me in getting the things I want in my life?"

If the belief does not support you it is then sabotaging you.

So now you have the opportunity to change the automatic negative thoughts. Start off by overcoming negative thinking.

This is a strong process that changes beliefs from being limiting sabotaging beliefs to beliefs that are self-enhancing and supporting.

About Hani Al-Qasem
Discover why you don't have what you want and how to get it. Get your free e-book Establish Powerful Self-Enhancing Beliefs and eliminate those limiting beliefs that are holding you back.Visit: http://www.boostyourmotivation.co.uk
Hani Al-Qasem is a published author and personal growth specialist.

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2010-03-16T21:33:00.002+05:30

Discover -- and Recover from Identity Theft in 2010

by John Sileo

Since you can't protect yourself 100 percent from identity theft, make sure that you Monitor the Signs! Heading into a new year people make many resolutions that they may or make not stick with, but protecting your identity should always be a top priority. Here are three effective tips to help discover and recover quickly if you become the victim of identity theft:

1. Create a Dossier -- A dossier is a collection of documents that are stored in a fire-safe and that you regularly review and update. It is a paper summary of your identity as the outside world sees it (businesses, organizations and governments). It is made up of several key documents: your credit report, bank and credit card statements, Social Security statement, wallet photocopies and your password list.

Virtually any of your vital documents could be included in your dossier as well (birth certificates, marriage licenses, etc.). A dossier is a place where you can quickly access a complete record of your vital information in case your identity is stolen and you will have the necessary account and phone numbers at hand to cancel credit cards, bank accounts and to file credit disputes. And you can do it quickly.

2. Order and Monitor Your Credit Report and Set up regular calendar reminders every 4 months for your next Credit Report. A credit report is a historical record of how you pay off money you borrow from others. There are currently three main credit bureaus in the United States -- Equifax, Experian and TransUnion.

Credit bureaus track your credit history, generate credit scores and produce credit reports -- all for sale to other businesses. If you own a home, have a credit card, lease a car, or apply for or use credit of any sort, this information is reported to one, two or all three of these credit bureaus. In addition, they collect information on how timely you pay your bills, how often you are tardy, how frequently your credit is checked by companies and any changes of address, employment, or personal information.

By monitoring these reports closely, you will know when someone else is using your credit file to their benefit. If an identity thief opens a new credit card or loan on your Social Security number, you will see it on your report. The quicker you spot the problem, the less trouble it will cause. You can also sign up for an Identity Monitoring Service and Identity Theft Insurance.

3. Set up Account Alerts bank, credit card and investment accounts and make sure you check your monthly statements for any suspicious activity. Account alerts automatically notify you by email or text message (to your cell phone) when a transaction is made on your account.
For example, if you make a purchase on your credit card, it will automatically send you an alert detailing how much was spent, where you spent it, and on what date. They will also alert you when a payment is due or is not received on time or when private information is changed on the account (often a sign of fraud).

Alerts are a simple way to keep track of credit card usage, bank transfers, low account balances, investment moves and a handful of other helpful tasks without doing any extra work.

These three simple changes make a world of difference when it comes to protecting your Identity. Early detection will save you time and money in the long run. Make it a priority to protect your identity in 2010 for a safe, successful and headache free year!

About John Sileo
About the author: John Sileo became America's leading Identity Theft Speaker & Expert after he lost his business and more than $300,000 to identity theft and data breach. His clients include the Department of Defense, Pfizer and the FDIC. To further bulletproof yourself and your business, visit John's blog at Sileo.com. To book John at your next event, visit www.ThinkLikeaSpy.com.

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2010-03-16T21:17:00.003+05:30

Can Goals, Strategies, and Systems Prevent Your Success?

by Joyce Shafer

Goals, Strategies, and Systems vs. Magnetic Visions. What thoughts are triggered when you consider this? Which one feels like a better "ride" for you?

Wallace Wattles wrote in his book, The Science of Getting Rich:

"Man is a thinking center, and can originate thought. All the forms that man fashions with his hands must first exist in his thought; he cannot shape a thing until he has thought that thing . . . . Man can form things in his thought, and, by impressing his thought upon formless substance, can cause the thing he thinks about to be created."

Wattles also wrote about Increase. Nature's prime directive is to increase. As part of nature, you feel this prime directive. It's why you strive to build and build-up and are frustrated when you're not sure how to do this effectively.

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with goals; but every success begins as an idea that gets energized by enthusiasm and inspiration; and this starts inside of you. A goal fed by passionate commitment (or even just a "this would be fun" approach) always follows an idea, it never precedes it. My point is you automatically engage a magnetic vision process (positively or negatively), in part, before you ever name a goal or take one or more actions. Why not do this consciously, deliberately, with more clarity and energy, and in your favor.

Goals make you think of strategies and systems, which have a rigid feel to them. Have you ever felt frustrated when you used someone else's strategy or system; and didn't get the same results? What happened? Could it be that what they did was a fit for them and not for you?
You can use up a lot of time and energy trying strategies and systems not tailored to your desired experience or nature . . . sort of like having a goal to get a new garment, yet choosing to try on the wrong sizes and clothing styles rather than take the more direct route of going to a tailor or seamstress. In the case of magnetic visions, you are the designer and the one who "reaps what you sew," based on what's appropriate for you; because only you know what that is.

How much time and energy have you put into testing what works for others' hat didn't work for you as fully as you wanted, or at all?

You're not fashioned from the same mold as anyone else, you're unique. How empowered would you feel if you knew how to more effortlessly design what's right for you "the right fit" "when you desire to achieve an outcome" and even enjoy the process? This is what a magnetic vision is about. And a magnetic vision gives birth to right next actions.

You want to create a magnetic vision and hold the intention of it, but you don't want to create stress in your energy by gripping it in your fist, so-to-speak. You do want a clear vision, but you also want to allow for something even better to come to you. This happens . . . often.

Wattles mentioned a man who'd planned and taken action only to have his goal fall through. The man trusted that something even better was on its way to him and expressed gratitude to Spirit for the results. Within a few weeks, something far better came to him. Had his original plan taken form, it would not have been to his benefit. In fact, Wattles explained, it would have been a disaster.

It can be difficult to let go of how situations or circumstances appear when you want something, especially if you have any fear attached to needing or wanting it.

A goal leads you to think, "I'll feel good when I have . . ."; and you can feel pressured about the outcome and what it takes to achieve it. Maybe that's fun for you, maybe it isn't.

A magnetic vision lets you hold your vision in such a way that inspired ideas flow to you, people and resources are drawn to you; in order to maintain the feeling you choose and energize. If you're focused on a set goal rather than a magnetic vision, you may be like the horse wearing blinders, and ignore opportunities and doors opening all around you.

When you're guided by how you want to feel rather than what you "think" you have to do (like worry and take lots and lots of fear-based actions), you expand your experiences. You want to stay open rather than closed, to inspired ideas and actions.

What you can build up to with the Implements in the Reinvent Yourself eCourse; which are self-guided self-empowering processes, not strategies; "is awareness of what your ideal life or business looks and feels like to you; who your ideal person or people are you choose to attract into your life; and what you choose to offer that is unique" and this bigger picture will help you move forward in life or business in ways that are comfortable and authentic for you.

Can you feel how freeing this is?

Partial excerpts from Reinvent Yourself: Refuse to Settle for Less in Life and Business by Joyce Shafer

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR ON YOUR WEBSITE?

You can. Just use my bio as a complete statement.

About Joyce Shafer
Self-Doubters and Second-Guessers: you can learn how to trust and follow what is natural, fulfilling, and even fun for you in life or business. Let Reinvent Yourself: Refuse to Settle for Less in Life and Business e-book or coaching program show you how. You Are More! Empowerment Coach Joyce Shafer, author of I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, but I Have Something to Say (jls1422@yahoo.com). Details about the program, her books and e-books, and current free weekly newsletter at http://stateofappreciation.webs.com
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2010-03-16T21:05:00.003+05:30

3 Powerful Ways To Live Your Life The Way You Want

by Hani Al-Qasem

So here is a question I would like to ask you: Do you think it is possible for you to live your life on your own terms? Can you make your goals in any area of your life come true? In fact, dare I ask if you even have any goals that you want to happen within the next 12 months?

Those people who have thought about their goals want a luxury country or beachfront home, a performance car, to be a successful business owner, to contribute more to the local community, and others.

More than likely you have a few goals in certain areas of your life. Right? Your goal could be to improve on the quality of your relationships, go for that promotion, lose weight, get healthy, volunteer your time to a charity organisation, spend more time with your family.

The important thing to now consider is how can you get closer to making your goals a reality, where you can live your life the way you want to as opposed to just dreaming about them every once in a while.

Let us assume you know what you want in your life, you even went as far as to write them down and place them on post-it notes all over your home, placed on the wall in front of your computer, on your fridge on your make-up mirror.

But it is extremely important for you to realise that it is most unlikely for you to achieve your goals.

Why?

It is because you possess a huge block that is standing in your way. A block, in fact blocks, that are in total conflict with your goals.

Those blocks are called your limiting beliefs. They precede any goal. If your beliefs are in conflict with what it is that you want, your limiting beliefs will always, always win.

If you want more money and you have limiting beliefs about money, as in, "I will never be rich", then no matter what you do consciously you will never be rich.

So if limiting beliefs stand in your way to live your life the way you want, what can you do to get by this?

Here are 3 powerful ways you can use immediately to start that journey to success:

1. Automatic Negative Thoughts. Your first step is to identify the limiting beliefs, your automatic negative thoughts that are standing in the way of achieving your goals. This must be done before you start the journey towards your goals. Not after.

2. Motivational Quotes. This is a very powerful way to identify those negative thoughts, your core limiting beliefs, and at the same time it can also push you to increase your level of enthusiasm and motivation. Get yourself a handful of motivational quotes or posters from Google search. When you read them notice how you react? If you cringe, or say, "Yeah right!" that is a limiting belief that you will need to tackle.

3. Be Committed. Every goal that you set for yourself be committed to achieve it. Identify and change the automatic negative thoughts and remain focused and committed to do whatever it takes until you have that goal. Do whatever it takes, no matter what. Take daily action.

Warning: If you ignore identifying and challenging your limiting beliefs you will remain stuck where you are now.

About Hani Al-Qasem
Discover why you don't have what you want and how to get it. Get your free e-book Establish Powerful Self-Enhancing Beliefs and eliminate those limiting beliefs that are holding you back.Visit: http://www.boostyourmotivation.co.uk
Hani Al-Qasem is a published author and personal growth specialist.

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2010-03-16T00:09:00.002+05:30

Position Yourself as a Leader

by Mark Hunter

It's been said that to be a successful salesperson, not only do your listening skills have to be great, but your closing skills have to be even better. However, I believe that while these skills are helpful, they are not essential. In my opinion, to be a top-performing sales professional, you must be a great leader. It is a fundamental character trait. Although we have all known salespeople who have had stellar years based on the luck of a few great clients, those with sustained, long-term success always exhibit great leadership skills.

What is a leader? Leaders are people who empower others to do seemingly impossible things, whether individually or as part of a group. They help people see issues and opportunities they would not normally see themselves. Most importantly, they instill a level of confidence in people that make them pro-active in dealing with situations they otherwise would be hesitant to handle.

These leadership traits are essential for top-performing salespeople to exhibit on a daily basis. By demonstrating these qualities to your prospects and clients, you are communicating your value to them. They will see that you have their best interest in mind and are not out to just "make a sale." You will create the confidence they need to desire to do business with you.

Salespeople who see themselves as leaders are far more likely to provide the client with the services necessary to help them achieve their long-term goals. For example, a salesperson who is a leader will wisely show a 25-year-old the significance of buying life insurance both as an investment tool and a "peace of mind" policy.

Top-performing salespeople understand how positioning themselves as leaders can further their success. You will increase your profits by selling more to an existing customer, so it only makes sense to display leadership to them. In addition, because the best new clients often come from referrals, your existing customers will be much more apt to confidently recommend you. In my experience, I have observed that salespeople who behave as leaders are less likely to need multiple closing techniques to make a sale. I firmly believe that the higher the degree of leadership in a sales professional, the less time spent on closing the deal. Similarly, the opposite holds true, and the result is a loss of valuable time.

Over the years, I have come to believe that "sales is leadership and leadership is sales." The more salespeople with whom I work, the more I confirm the validity of this statement. Although it's important to work on both your ability to listen and your closing techniques, fostering your leadership skills is far more essential. Begin today to set yourself apart from the competition by positioning yourself as a leader to your employees, your clients and your prospects.

About Mark Hunter
Mark Hunter, "The Sales Hunter", is a sales expert who speaks to thousands each year on how to increase their sales profitability. For more information, to receive a free weekly email sales tip, or to read his Sales Motivation Blog, visit http://www.TheSalesHunter.com

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2010-03-15T23:59:00.004+05:30

Who Really Achieves Success in Sales?

by Mark Hunter

Success in sales does not go to the one who has the lowest price.

Nor does success in sales go to the one who has the best customers.

And, success in sales does not go the one who has the most intelligence.

Who really achieves success in sales? The people who practice integrity with every person with whom they come in contact. There is no substitute - no alternative - to consistent integrity.

Eleven years ago, I left my corporate career working in sales management for a Fortune 100 company. I began traveling the globe, working with salespeople across more industries than I can even begin to count. Over the years, I've personally met with thousands of salespeople, each with their own level of success and failures. I also have met with hundreds of sales managers, VPs of Sales, CEOs and others from the "C-Suite." All those interactions and opportunities to learn about so many industries has revealed to me more than ever what it takes to remain at the top.

People who are at the top year in and year out are those who walk and breathe integrity in everything they do. This is true in good economic periods and bad economic periods, through global upheavals and company chaos. The consistent factor to success is not an external circumstance, but rather an internal commitment to a high level of integrity. These are the people who do not necessarily close every deal or land every new big hot account that comes along. However, in their actions and attitude, 365 days a year, they walk with integrity.

How would you define integrity? I would define it as adhering to strong moral and ethical standards, regardless of the situation or result of such commitment. In other words, integrity is not a commodity you can casually use when it benefits you, and carelessly throw aside when it doesn't. Consistency is one of the hallmark signs of true integrity.

As a consultant for more than a decade, I have had the opportunity to watch several people over the course of not just weeks or months, but years. If you have been in sales a long time, you too have had the unique perspective of spotting the people others trust and want to follow.
Sometimes this person holds official capacity as a leader, but often the "leader" is not high up in an organization. Regardless of a leader's "official" position, they likely wield much influence because of their integrity.

Integrity starts with allowing yourself to be personally and publically accountable for everything you do and everything you think. In fact, integrity is more about holding yourself personally to a higher degree of accountability, because the real onus of integrity is how it guides you each day in your actions and activities. Accept 100% responsibility for how you carry yourself and do so with a high standard.

When it comes to strengthening integrity, here are some points to consider:

* No one can be forced to operate with integrity. It's completely an internal choice that is reflected in external actions.

* It's never too late to start. If you have struggled with integrity in the past, begin today to set a new course. In small ways and big ways, begin to line up your actions and attitudes with a strong moral and ethical standard.

* Accept the fact that you may not close every deal, because you are not willing to compromise your standards.

* The real measurement of integrity is what you do when nobody is looking and when nobody will ever find out what you have or have not done.

* Learn from those around you who live and breathe integrity. Become a student of their approaches and reactions - not just when the circumstances are good, but particularly when the circumstances are hard. As much as you can, surround yourself with these people. More than likely, they will not only have the highest degree of integrity, they will also be the most optimistic.

Whether you have been in sales a short time or for years, you owe it to yourself to achieve a level of success that is rooted in integrity. That kind of success cannot be matched. You will find yourself experiencing long-term success, and best of all, it will come in ways you least expect it.

About Mark Hunter
Mark Hunter, "The Sales Hunter", is a sales expert who speaks to thousands each year on how to increase their sales profitability. For more information, to receive a free weekly email sales tip, or to read his Sales Motivation Blog, visit http://www.TheSalesHunter.com

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2010-03-15T23:43:00.003+05:30

Selling to Purchasing Departments

by Mark Hunter

One of the most difficult parts of a salesperson's job is dealing with purchasing departments. Whether you are a new salesperson or a seasoned veteran, you likely will agree that dealing with a purchasing department can create a tremendous amount of stress for a salesperson. Unless you are truly unprepared, there's no reason for anyone to fear dealing with a purchasing department.

A purchasing department is nothing more than a group of individuals assembled for the sole purpose of trying to save money for their company. The key for you as the salesperson to remember is that even though the purchasing department's number one objective is to save money, this doesn't mean they are out to attack you on price.

Purchasing departments view their role as the supply-chain managers. It is their job to ensure the company does what it is supposed to do in an efficient manner that requires as little capital as possible. What this means is very simple: The purchasing department's job is much more than beating up salespeople. Granted, many purchasing agents do enjoy the thrill of securing a lower price, but that's no different than you. As a salesperson, you enjoy the thrill of securing a new sale. Accept the fact that the purchasing agent is doing nothing more than what they are supposed to do.

A few vital points to keep in mind when dealing with a purchasing department:

* Low price may appear to be what they are after, but if they buy something that's cheap but doesn't work, then it's suddenly anything but a "cheap" item. If it doesn't work, they now have to replace it. In doing so, they are stuck with a double-cost. Low price is really secondary to the performance of the item they are buying.

* Rarely does the purchasing department have huge amounts of power in a company. This means they're not at the top of the food-chain. As a result, they can't afford to upset those above them. Although they may harass you to lower your price, the last thing they want to do is be harassed by others in the company for not buying what those people wanted them to buy in the first place. In other words, purchasing agents will put up a good fight on the surface, but in the end, they can't afford to upset anyone in the company - regardless of how much money they think they can save.

* Purchasing agents may say they must have a lower price, but in reality their goal is really to save "x" amount of money - and it doesn't necessarily have to come from you. Purchasing agents will always pick on the salespeople who appear to be the weakest and most vulnerable. This only makes sense, as they are simply trying to manage their time. Therefore, they will secure the savings they need from whomever they believe will give it to them with the least amount of hassle.

Don't hesitate to call a purchasing agent's bluff. Purchasing agents love to posture themselves with salespeople as if they control the salesperson's career. All they are really doing is seeing how far they can push you. Until you stand up to them and push back, they'll keep pushing you to get additional benefits and lower prices. When a purchasing agent demands a lower price, the only thing they're doing is going with the demand they know works the best since they know there is almost always flexibility in pricing. It's the strength and confidence of you the salesperson that is going to be the best indicator as to whether or not they'll be successful in pushing you to lower your price.

Purchasing agents love to bluff people by saying they will buy from one of your competitors if you don't lower your price. This actually happens far less than salespeople realize. Upon hearing the threat of going to another supplier, most salespeople will cower and give the purchasing agent what they are after. Too bad the only thing the salesperson has done is give up profit. It's this type of a response that gives salespeople a bad reputation. The entire time the purchasing manager is demanding you lower the price or they will switch, they know full well how expensive switching to a new supplier can be.
About Mark Hunter
Mark Hunter, "The Sales Hunter", is a sales expert who speaks to thousands each year on how to increase their sales profitability. For more information, to receive a free weekly email sales tip, or to read his Sales Motivation Blog, visit http://www.TheSalesHunter.com

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2010-03-15T22:54:00.002+05:30

Simply Amazing

by Stuart "GuruStu" Rosen

Life finds its simplest form, however complex:

Life can seem every complex at times. Pieces just don't seem to fit. People don't see eye-to-eye. Heck, sometimes we don't even see ourselves eye-to-eye. It's just that we get lost in the details all too oftenâ?¦ and that's what's complex; not the situation.

The key to having a life that works is to make everything in it as simple as possible.

Look at the core.
Everything has a center our dreams, our actions, our beliefs. It's there that either the pieces fit, or they don't. It's just that finding that core can be difficult because of the multitude of layers that have caked up on top over the years.

Start at the top.
Treat everything as if it's an onion. Start with the very top layer and peel it away. This is the layer to throw away actually. It's the hardest, oldest and farthest away from the core.

What that looks like, is "clear away the clutter." That means, go through the closet, grab all the clothes that don't fit or aren't worn, and just give them away to charity. Go through the house, peeling away everything - the nick-nacks, the old furniture if it's not close to the core, it goes.

Don't stop there.
Next comes the people in our lives; the takers and time wasters who don't add that much value to our lives. It might seem insensitive to 'discard' people but really, we're just setting them free and committing our time to those that are closer. This could be a very good thing for everyone.

Do more with less.
The next way to simplify is to combine. If there's one new thing that can satisfy the need of two old things, then go with the new thing. Even if it's three for two, it's still getting more done with less. For example, I used to write articles on paper, then type them into a computer. Now I use a laptop and type directly. Same results; simpler.

Be direct.
All too often we "beat around the bush" or go way out of our way to avoid doing something; or we don't know any shortcuts. So; learn shortcuts and get to the point. The shortest distance between two points is a straight line.

The solution is simple!

About Stuart "GuruStu" Rosen
Stuart Rosen, best known as "Gurustu" is dedicated to making the world a little lighter. His chapter, "Power of Thanks" appears in volume one of "101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life" alongside such notables as Zig Ziglar, Brian Tracy, Jim Rohn and Denis Waitley. His new new book, "DARE to be your BEST" is part of a program that helps you turn your desires into results.
He is also a motivational cartoonist, speaker and coach. See his hundreds of articles, cartoons and words of wisdom at GuruStu.com.

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2010-03-15T22:43:00.003+05:30

Heartbreak

by Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Celine, an only child, was 7 years old, her mother died tragically in a car accident. She and her father were devastated. However, unlike so many of my clients who lost parents and no one was there for them, Celine's father was completely there for her, even while dealing with his own grief and heartbreak. Celine could call him anytime at work and he would talk to her or come home to lovingly hold her. Because he was so completely there for her, her feelings of grief, heartbreak, sadness and sorrow did not get stuck in her body. Each time they came up, they were released due to the caring, compassion, tenderness, gentleness, consistency and understanding of her loving father.

As a result of her father's love, Celine did not develop the fear of intimacy and loss that so many people experience as a result of the loss of the parent. She did not close her heart to protect herself from future loss.

However, most of us did not have loving parents to help us move through the heartbreaks of childhood. In fact, many of us had parents that caused much of the heartbreak with various forms of abuse. We needed to numb out and find protections/addictions to manage the heartbreak and loneliness of rejection, abuse, and loss. As a result, the pain got stuck in our bodies, causing both physical and emotional damage.

EMOTIONAL DAMAGE

Without a loving parent such as Celine's father, we had no choice but to learn to buffer the pain. You might have learned to use food, drugs, or alcohol at a young age. Perhaps you became addicted to TV, computer games, tantrums, fantasy or caretaking. You might have learned to stay focused in your mind rather than in your body, and to live in the past or future rather than in the present moment. In one way or another, you learned to disconnect from your deeper feelings of heartache, heartbreak, loneliness, helplessness over others, sorrow, and grief, because you did not have the ability to manage these very painful feelings any other way.

But addictions and inner disconnection cause other problems - loss of a sense of self, low self-worth, fears of rejection and engulfment. The more you disconnect from your feelings, the more you are dependent upon others for approval and acceptance. This leads to relationship problems and to more addictive behaviors. The result is living with anxiety, depression, fear, anger, guilt, and/or shame.

Childhood heartbreak has hugely devastating effects that need to be healed as adults. Now, we can go back and learn to give ourselves what didn't receive as children - compassion, caring, tenderness, gentleness and understanding - and heal much of the emotional damage. We can learn to manage the deeply painful feelings that we could not manage as children.

PHYSICAL DAMAGE

When children are physically and/or sexually abused, the energy it takes to survive caused a huge amount of stress in the physical body. When stressed, the body goes into flight or fight, which means that the blood leaves the organs, brain, and immune system and goes into the arms and legs for fighting or fleeing. However, when we cannot fight or flee, we freeze, causing the blood to stay stuck in our arms and legs. This gradually erodes the immune system, preparing the way for illness. Much current illness is the result of childhood abuse.

While we can currently eat well, get enough exercise, and heal the emotional stress, sometimes the physical damage is deeply challenging. It is not easy to heal the years of damage caused by the stress of abuse. It is vitally important for you to not judge yourself for the illnesses you might be suffering that started as a child from being abused or from suffering unbearable loss.

Today, you need to be gentle with yourself. Judging yourself for the emotional and physical damage of heartbreak only causes more heartbreak. Instead, you need to be deeply caring, tender and gentle with yourself, consistently giving the love and acceptance to yourself that you did not receive as a child. This is what heals.

About Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® healing process. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover your joy? Learn Inner Bonding now! Click here for a FREE Inner Bonding Course, and visit our website at www.innerbonding.com for more articles and help. Phone Sessions Available. Join the thousands we have already helped and visit us now!

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2010-03-12T18:36:00.004+05:30

Protection from Identity Fraud: Your Business, Your Life

by Venkat Sure

Have you ever had a huge credit card bill without even purchasing the things listed in the credit card statement?

Have you ever been arrested for outstanding parking tickets even if you know that you didn't even commit any traffic violations?

Then you might be a victim of identity theft crime.

This kind of crime can be very damaging and frustrating for its victims. Not only that it the person committing this crime can steal your money, but the criminal can also ruin your reputation. Financial fraud, such as credit card fraud, bank account fraud and computer fraud are examples of identity theft. Another type of identity theft involves criminal activities committed in your name. Imagine yourself being investigated for a crime that you didn't commit. This can be frustrating or upsetting for anyone who becomes a victim of identity theft or identity fraud.

Crimes like these can be very devastating for the victims and also for the victim's family. It can result on you being convicted for tax evasion or even fraud. There are many forms that identity theft can occur, it can simply be as simple as a lost or forgotten credit card or submitting your personal information in emails to people you don't know.

This is why you should know how to protect yourself from identity theft. It is important that you should be cautious on whom you give your personal information to and also you should be aware with all your credit cards and other things that can provide personal and financial information about you.

Here are some ways to protect yourself from identity theft:

* If someone calls you and tells you that they are from the credit card company or other financial institutions, and would be asking you about your personal information, do not give it to them. Hang up the phone and call the credit card company or financial institution the caller said he or she is from.

* If you need to give out your personal information to a company, be sure that the company you're dealing with will protect the information you give them. Ask on how secure their files are.

* It is wise that you should keep track of all the credit card purchases you made and withdrawals you made in your bank and check the billing statement and withdrawal statement carefully and thoroughly. Criminals who commit identity fraud are usually careful, purchasing only one item at a time in the duration of the credit card billing mails. If you find something irregular in your credit card billing statement, report it immediately to concerned authorities.
* Criminals who commit identity theft usually go dumpster diving. This means that they go look in garbage to obtain any discarded documents containing personal and financial information. You should be careful when you dispose of your documents containing personal and financial information. If it is possible, burn them or shred them to the point that it cannot be put back together.

* Do not carry any unnecessary documents or cards in your wallet or purse containing your personal information. A simple crime like stealing your wallet or purse can immediately turn to identity crime. This is one of the most common ways a thief uses to obtain personal information.

* It is wise to make photo copies of your credit cards, passports and other sensitive documents to easily cancel it if ever it was stolen.

* Your deposit slips is one of the easiest ways a thief can acquire your personal information. Be careful with it. Keep it in a safe place in your home and also try to be aware of it in public areas. Deposit slips can provide the thief to access your bank account.

* Your account in emails and other websites also provide personal and financial information. Be sure that you have a very secure password. Do not use easy to guess passwords such as, your birthday, or your mothers maiden name.

If you suspect that you are a victim of identity theft, you should contact the concerned authorities, such as the police and fraud offices the moment you suspect it. Close your bank accounts immediately and get your credit card reissued with a different account number. Tell your bank about your suspicion by calling and stating it in writing.
About Venkat Sure
Venkat Sure is a Internet Marketing Expert with a strong interest in internet marketing, internet security and online selling to help people all over the world to make internet useful and secured. He has authored and published many articles in online.

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2010-03-12T18:27:00.003+05:30

Fact or Opinion?

by Nan Russell

"You ain't going nowhere, son. You ought to go back to drivin' a truck." What if Elvis believed this Grand Ole Opry manager's critique after his l954 performance? Or the Beatles listened in 1962 when Decca Recording Company responded, "We don't like their sound. Groups of guitars are on the way out."

What if Rudyard Kipling quit writing when the San Francisco Examiner told him, "I'm sorry, but you just don't know how to use the English language." Or as a struggling artist, Walt Disney took seriously the words of a prospective employer to "try another line of work" because he "didn't have any creative, original ideas."

What if ten year old Albert Einstein believed his teacher's words, "you will never amount to much." Or opera star, Enrico Caruso, gave up singing after his first vocal teacher counseled, "your voice sounds like wind whistling through a window."

Thankfully, they didn't believe what they were told. But many of us do. We accept someone else's opinion as our fact. We allow others to determine what we believe about ourselves, what we aspire to achieve, what we dream and what we become. Others people's limiting beliefs about us become our own as we give them power over our life.

But, Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen didn't. Their "Chicken Soup for the Soul" series, now with 65 titles, has sold more than 80 million copies in 27 languages. Not bad for an anthology rejected by 33 major publishing houses in the first month, receiving more than 140 total rejections before their agent gave it back to them saying "I can't sell this book." Only by going booth to booth and pitching their vision to editors at a booksellers' convention did they finally find a small publisher who said yes.

Their passion about their work and its message kept them going. Passion kept Disney and Einstein and Kipling going, too. That's because passion is the most powerful self-motivator any of us can have. It's what drives us to use our talents and abilities. It's the one criteria I've found most helpful when selecting people in my twenty years of management. You can teach most skills. But you can't teach passion.

People who are winning at working believe in themselves and their dreams. They're not likely to view setbacks as failures, roadblocks as dead-ends, or negative critique as fatal. It's their passion that keeps them going when others give up. It's their passion that provides strength of purpose, resilience, persistence and the confidence to keep trying. It's their passion that helps them differentiate between opinion and fact about who they are and what they can do with their life.

It's their passion that guides them.

Like Babe Ruth said, "It's hard to beat a person who never gives up." When you are passionate about your work, your dreams and your life, you don't give up.

(c) 2005 Nan S. Russell. All rights reserved.

About Nan Russell
Nan Russell has spent over twenty years in management, most recently with QVC as a Vice President. She has held leadership positions in Human Resource Development, Communication, Marketing and line Management. Nan is the author of the book "Hitting Your Stride: Your Work, Your Way" (Capital Books; Jan 2008) and radio host of "Work Matters" weekly on webtalkradio.net

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2010-03-12T18:21:00.003+05:30

Go Ahead - Waste Some Time!

by Gene Simmons

As I peruse various articles from the "self-help experts", I am amazed at how often I run into the admonition to stop wasting time. Create a daily "To Do" list, prioritize, and do, do, do. Get stuff done. Don't get sidetracked. Remember your goals. Try to keep on schedule. Go, go, go! Keep moving. Stick with the plan. Do you want to succeed or not? Keep going and for cryin' out loud, STOP WASTING TIME!

Yeah, I know. It's good for any of us to set goals for those things we'd like to accomplish in life and it also makes sense to at least sketch out a basic action plan to achieve those goals. For some of us, it can also be beneficial to lay out a daily "To Do" list as a reminder of some of the things we really should get done today - as long as we don't get carried away and start regarding our list as a sacred scroll. As the main controlling factor in our lives that we must follow no matter what.

It's my personal opinion however, that there comes a time when we need to close the daily planner, shut off the PDA and just goof off. Let's face it. Many of us are well on our way to becoming spazz cases. Over-driven zombies fueled by mind-soothing drugs and blood pressure pills along with an assortment of other even less desirable "medications". That's not good.

What happens when you keep using the old cell phone - call after call and day after day without putting it on the charger? The answer is pretty obvious, isn't it? Our phone simply quits working. It's much the same way with us. Oh yeah, we can keep on pushing, sometimes for quite a while. Somewhere along the line though, we're going to quit working too. Maybe not to the point where we're ready for the great recycle bin in the sky but you can about bet that something is going to start deteriorating. Perhaps it will be our health, our emotional stability, our relationships with our friends and family; something is going down the tubes. Just like our cell phone, we frequently need recharging too.

One of the best ways to get our old batteries re-energized is to take a periodic "time out" to yes, waste time and just goof off. Just for clarification, I view "wasting time" as doing anything that we personally enjoy doing that takes less than five minutes of preparation. No, spending three days getting ready for a trip to the beach with the kids; and then going to the beach - is not wasting time. It's taking a vacation which hopefully will be fun and not too stressful.

To me, wasting time is doing things like going for a short walk, kicking back and listening to music, reading, sitting on the front porch watching the squirrels in the pecan tree or even watching something mindless on TV. Not uncommonly my TV time will turn into nap time which, come to think of it, is just about the ultimate in goofing off. Quite refreshing!

If it's done strictly for the benefit of relaxation, some folks enjoy drawing, painting, sculpture, working with crafts or playing a musical instrument while others may get a re-charge through gardening or woodworking. As long as the thing we're doing is something we really enjoy and is done because we "want to" as opposed to "need to", I think we can safely log it under the general category of wasting time. To be real honest, it doesn't make a heck of a lot of difference what we're doing as long as we are stepping back from the stress-producing stuff in our lives to take some time for ourselves.

Stress: from all kinds of different pressures - is frequently considered to be America's number one health problem. That's no reason it should be our problem though. So? So stop reading this stuff and go waste some time! Now would be good!

Important note: If you're feeling really stressed out, it would probably be a good idea to do something about it by paying a visit to your friendly physician or health services organization. Think about it.

About Gene Simmons
Gene Simmons, through NuPathz.com, provides an easy reading self-help blog, articles, quotations, thoughts and links along with affordable personal growth and self improvement books & materials - all designed to help folks find the road to a more enjoyable lifestyle, to pass on some of life's "secrets for survival" in a chaotic world & offer a few smiles along the way. It's a down-to-earth, simple approach to discovering a better life.

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2010-03-12T18:11:00.002+05:30

11 Steps toward a Happier You

by Gene Simmons

First the good news. There's a really, really good chance that we all can do things; make a few changes in our thinking and in our lives; to help us become a happier person. The realistic side of this though, is that some of us probably have the ability and even the opportunity, to be happier than others.

Let's start with a simple definition of happiness: "A feeling of contentedness, delight, enjoyment or satisfaction." One more: "a state of well-being characterized by emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy".

Can you see the problem here? Because we each have our own very special set of genetics and life experiences, our personal definition of happiness will not be the same as any other person on the planet. What makes me happy may or may not significantly contribute to your happiness.

And speaking of genetics, there's a really good chance that because our brains are wired differently and produce different levels of chemicals that influence our thought processes, some of us are going to have a more difficult time making a "happy connection". It's just the way it is.

It doesn't take much thought either to understand that our outlook on life, including our tendency to be happy, has been strongly influenced by our parents and the folks that were around during our formative years. Simply, if your close relatives and friends were happy people, there's an excellent chance that you will be too.

So where does that leave us? With the opportunity to at least try a few different things that might lead us to a happier and overall, a more enjoyable life. Here are a few suggestions to consider:

1. How we think; about ourselves, our situation and about the things that are happening around us; is probably the main determining factor in whether or not we're happy. If we have a "positive approach" to life (a positive mental attitude), we've already taken a giant step toward happiness. Try to ignore or at least minimize the negative inputs from the media (doom and gloom stuff in the news), from the entertainment industry (songs, movies, TV shows), friends, relatives and acquaintances. Focus on the abundance of good things that are present in your world.

2. To help generate a more positive outlook, you might consider making a "gratitude check". Make a list of the things in your life that you are thankful for. Start with whatever pops into your mind and add to it as you become aware of more things. Here's a hint: the more you look for good things, the more you'll find. Trust me!

3. In line with this, make a list of the good things; or the things you like; about you. We all have at least some good qualities. Write 'em down. If you have a few habits or traits that you're not too pleased with, do what you can to make the changes you think you need. None of us are perfect and never will be but if we'll at least recognize that we each have some really good qualities to start with, it will be one more step up the happiness ladder. It's a whole lot easier to be happy if you generally like the person you see in the mirror.

4. Focus on "now". Even though the things that have happened to us in our lives so far have brought us to where we are today, they are all history. They are no longer real. It's all stuff that is just sitting in our memory bank. So it doesn't do any good to worry, or feel guilt or remorse over anything from our past. Wishing that things had been different or that we would have said or done some things differently can be major obstacles in our happy path. Let the past go and focus on the only thing that IS real: now.

Remember too, that the future is not real either. Even though planning is good, too much "what if'ing" especially when it comes to potentially negative situations accomplishes little other than to increase our stress level. We're not psychic; we can not accurately predict the future. So yes, plan and prepare the best you can for the future, but do your best to live in the "now".

5. Stay flexible. When you get right down to it, we have very little control over what happens in this old world. People do strange and unpredictable things. Nature plays by her own rules. Things break and wear out. Just expect it and be ready to make some adjustments in your own lifestyle or ways of thinking; without grumbling or complaining about how badly this new situation is affecting you. In the long run, there may actually be some benefits to your new circumstances. You never know!

6. Do things you actually enjoy doing. We all have tasks or chores to do that are boring or a pain in the butt. That's the way life is. However, the more time we can spend doing the things we enjoy, the happier we'll be. That just makes good sense. So!
Work at a job that interests you, that is fulfilling and even fun. I know! easier said than done. Sometimes we just need to survive. However, it is worth striving for so take some time to identify your interests (the work-type things you really enjoy), do your research, make plans and do whatever you need to do to make the transition to your personal "super job". A quick note here: often, with just a bit of a change in thinking; adopting more of a positive approach; our present job can wind up being pretty darned good. You might want to try that approach first.
Spend at least some of your spare time doing fun things. It doesn't make any difference what it is as long as you enjoy it. The problem is that many of us are so busy being busy that we don't think we can allow ourselves the luxury of devoting any time at all to the fun stuff. Try this.

Think about setting aside a half hour to an hour a day; or maybe three or four hours on the weekends; to do your "fun thing". It will be a welcome break from your routine and will definitely be one more step down your happy path. (If you're having trouble deciding what to do in your new spare time, you might consider volunteering your time to help others in some way. Giving of yourself is always a happiness bonus.)

7. Get better at what you do. Improving our abilities; at work, with our hobbies, or in raising a family; will not only give us a huge feeling of satisfaction, there's a darned good chance it will even help make life easier for us. So read, research, attend classes, find a mentor or coach; and add another gold star to your happy chart.

8. Be with friends and family. There's nothing better than a closely-knit support group that meshes with your interests and personality; and that you can truly have fun with; to boost your happiness factor by a couple of points. Emphasis on the words "that you can have fun with." Unfortunately, some of us wind up with ahem-- friends; and even family that are a major drag-me-down negative influence on our lives. If that's the case, then it's time to move on and find better, more positive folks to hang out with. There are all kinds of organizations and groups available so do a little snooping and see what is in your area that might suit your interests. And don't forget the volunteering thing we mentioned in #6!

9. Take a "time out." Set aside at least a few minutes; fifteen or thirty minutes if possible; for you every day. Any time of day. It doesn't make any difference when. This will be YOUR time where you can let your brain wind down and you can just relax - away from whatever pressures or chaos that may exist in your daily routine. Make it quiet time without distractions. You can pray, meditate or just think about neat stuff. Short, relaxing walks can be refreshing. Observing nature; trees, plants, birds, critters; can be very relaxing. Pick what you enjoy. Recharge your batteries. Enjoy your "time out!"

10. Develop a spiritual connection. Accepting that we are all a part of a "bigger picture" and that each one of us has access to love, guidance, comfort, information, etc. from a higher source; can help dramatically reduce the pressures and stress that we encounter in our daily lives. It can be through organized religious organizations, informal groups, or personal spiritual pursuits. It doesn't make any difference. It all depends on what we are personally most comfortable with. It's worth following up on!

11. Give yourself permission to be happy. Even though this may initially seem like a silly suggestion, it could be the most important one of all. There are many of us who are mentally and emotionally "paying for" events; things we have done and things that have happened to us; in the past. It's time to stop doing that and focus on the present; the "now". We've all made mistakes and displayed errors in judgment, but that doesn't make us a bad person. We just had an "oops". So let's apply some of the preceding suggestions and as a good person, give ourselves permission to be happy. We really do deserve it, you know!

Note: If this suggestion (number 11) has turned out to be a giant boulder on your path to happiness because of your thoughts and feelings about past situations and events (guilt, regret, remorse, anger, etc.), it will likely take more than "happy thoughts" to help you get back on track. Don't let depression, low self-esteem and similar feelings rob you of your happiness. Seek professional help. You really DO deserve to be happy!

About Gene Simmons
Gene Simmons, through NuPathz.com, provides an easy reading self-help blog, articles, quotations, thoughts and links along with affordable personal growth and self improvement books & materials - all designed to help folks find the road to a more enjoyable lifestyle, to pass on some of life's "secrets for survival" in a chaotic world & offer a few smiles along the way. It's a down-to-earth, simple approach to discovering a better life.

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2010-03-12T18:06:00.002+05:30

When Someone Rejects You, Who Are They Rejecting?

by Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

The fear of rejection is a huge issue in relationships. For some, the fear is so huge that it stops them from being in a relationship. For others, it plagues them throughout their relationships and causes much anxiety.

Rejection is a part of life, and learning to lovingly manage it is very important to our wellbeing.
To help you learn to move beyond the fear of rejection, I would like to help you see who a person is rejecting when they reject you. Are they rejecting your wounded self or your core Self?

Your wounded self is the self you created when you were growing up to protect yourself from pain. This is the ego - the part of us filled with fear and false beliefs, and many ways of trying to get love and avoid pain. This is the part of us that gives ourselves up, or gets angry, blaming, or critical, or turns to various addictions, or is resistant, or is numbed out or withdrawn.

The wounded self in all of us is not lovable. No one falls in love with our wounded self. No one even really likes our wounded self.

Your core Self is who you really are - who GOD created rather than who YOU created. This is your true Self, your essence. This is the part of all of us that is inherently lovable and loving. This is who someone falls in love with.

When you have been rejected, which part of you is being rejected?

If you have been your wounded self a lot in a relationship - people-pleasing by giving yourself up, getting angry, judgmental and blaming, withdrawing, turning to various addictions, and/or being highly resistant, then it is very likely that you are being rejected for your wounded self.

You are not being rejected for who you really are, but for choosing to be controlling rather than loving. We all need to accept that if we choose to be our wounded self most of the time in a relationship, there is a good possibility that we will be rejected.

However, if you have been your core Self for much of the relationship, then it is very important to not take rejection personally, as it is not about you at all - it is about the other person's fear of intimacy.

In most relationships, two people get together at their common level of woundedness - i.e., they are equally in their wounded self, equally self-abandoning. If, at some point in the relationship, you open to learning and healing, and learn to take responsibility for yourself and be more in your core Self, your partner might be threatened by this. It is very important that if your partner rejects you for your growth, you not take this personally. This is not about anything being wrong with you - it is about your partner not wanting to learn and grow.

On the other hand, if your partner is the one learning and growing, and you choose not to learn and grow, and your partner leaves the relationship, it is not because there is anything inherently wrong with you. There is never anything wrong with the core Self. But if you choose to stay stuck in your wounded self and your partner leaves, it is because he or she is rejecting your wounded self, not your core Self, and your wounded self is NOT who you really are.

Next time you are rejected, look inside and see who is being rejected - your wounded self or your core Self? If someone reject you for your wounded self, then take it as an opportunity to learn and heal. If someone rejects you for your core Self, then good riddance! This person would never have supported you in being all that you are.

About Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® healing process. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover your joy? Learn Inner Bonding now! Click here for a FREE Inner Bonding Course, and visit our website at www.innerbonding.com for more articles and help. Phone Sessions Available. Join the thousands we have already helped and visit us now!

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2010-03-12T17:40:00.002+05:30

What Is Your Gift, and Do You Share It?

Joyce Shafer

Your gift is what you do in your unique way. Ironically, you may do it so naturally, you don't recognize it for what it is or realize what you might do with it.

Whatever you do in life, you can have a more joyful, meaningful experience if you shine the light on and share what is unique about you. We sometimes assume the way we do something is how everyone does it. This isn't necessarily, and usually isn't, the case. This is why something you do that you don't think is very special or unique might be seen as very special or unique by someone else.

One of the fastest ways to identify or confirm this is to ask others. You can ask friends, family, clients, co-workers what they believe is unique about you. This is a good thing to do because you can pay attention to what their comments have in common.

I applied this to a friend of mine, a licensed therapist, who is highly skilled at what she does. What I perceive as natural for her is how she demonstrates the importance of including fun and humor in life, no matter what challenges may be happening. Not surprising is that she dreams of doing seminars, especially in corporate environments, to teach why appropriate humor and fun in the workplace are beneficial to well-being, creativity, and success. In her personal life, she lives what she desires to do. Yes, others do similar seminars; but she, especially with her background, could do it in a unique way.

You will benefit by asking this question of others, but you may have to work with the wording. I was told by one friend that she relies on me to tell her the truth, when she approaches me with a difficult challenge she's having. Another friend said I help people feel good about themselves and about what they do, meaning that I support people when they struggle with an issue, and leave judgment out of the equation.

I looked at these two responses and recognized what was being said. I listen to people with more than my ears. I perceive what they don't; stories they're telling themselves, their limiting beliefs. I help them see what they're missing because they're too close to a situation or too used to it. I perceive the small bits and the bigger picture. I validate them. I help them shift something so they can move forward. And, I've always done this; in my unique way. I recall wishing in the early '90s, that there was a way I could do what I did so naturally, as a living. Then I read an article about a new field: life coaching. I felt like that old Reese's candy commercial; the chocolate fell into the peanut butter, and a winning combination was created.

Sometimes it's about what you do that you want to do in a unique way, but believe others would think something negative if you did it or, "Who would pay me to do that?!" Someone I know coached a divorce attorney who realized he didn't like the bickering or nastiness some of his clients engaged in, especially when children were involved. He wanted to work solely with people who wanted peaceful divorces. He clarified his niche and was passionate about it. This allowed him to be clear about his services and ideal clients when he created his promotional materials. He never lacks clients. There was a ready market waiting for such an attorney; even if they weren't aware of it.

If you love to make people laugh, does this mean your gift is less important than a heart surgeon's skill? We know now about the healing qualities of laughter. If you're able to make people laugh and ease the stings; or blows; that come into people's lives, why wouldn't you share that? Could you write articles, books, or Blogs in a way that changes people's lives or entertains them in their preferred world of fiction? Could you combine your love of skydiving and spirituality to teach "flying at a whole new level?" This last one reminds you that you may have more than one gift and know you are happier if you can do some of each or find a way to merge them.

What might it cost you to identify your gift. A gift which is unique about you, then share it, and even be compensated for it? Will you have to confront negative beliefs about yourself? Give up some spare time or rearrange your routine to develop your plan and take action?

What will it cost you, personally, if you don't do this? Will you deny your life's purpose or see yourself as not deserving better life experiences? Will you remain in a self-imposed prison without bars, possibly based on someone else's opinions or fears?

The real you "who you are" has a level of splendor within that can make a difference in your life and the lives of others, but only if you express it.

About Joyce Shafer
Success = Better Questions to Get Better Answers. Is it time to learn how to more effortlessly have desired experiences in life and business? Let Reinvent Yourself: Refuse to Settle for Less in Life and Business coaching program or e-book show you how. You Are More! Empowerment Coach Joyce Shafer, author of I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, but I Have Something to Say (jls1422@yahoo.com). Details about the program, her books and e-books, and current free weekly newsletter at http://stateofappreciation.webs.com

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2010-03-12T17:31:00.002+05:30

What do Baby Boomers want from technology?

by Ray B Williams

In 2011, approximately 30% of the U.S. population will be over the age of 50. Yet, in 2010, they are expected to outspend younger adults by $1 trillion. Boomers are not going away quietly into the sunset.

As Steve Lohn reported in The New York Times, Boomers show a great deal of interest in purchasing consumer electronics, more than any other age group. Focus groups, aged 50-60, and organized by the AARP and Microsoft, gathered together in San Francisco, Phoenix, Chicago, and New York to discuss the issue of future trends in technology.

Contrary to many public and media perceptions, Baby Boomers have a real interest in continuing adoption of technology. Michael Rogers, an author, futurist, consultant and former Vice President of the Washington Post's media division, led the focus group discussions. He concluded that the Boomers will be a driving force behind the use of information technology in the next decade, particularly in the health care industry, one of the largest in our society. He commented further, that Boomers don't want technology products that are complicated and cluttered with excessive features.

A recent study by TV Land company showed that Boomers were very involved in technology adoption, and yet are underserved by marketing initiatives, which mostly aim at younger people. Another study by leading market research company NPD Group, showed that 41% of Boomers regularly visit social networks such as Facebook and LinkedIn, and 61% visit websites that offer streaming or downloadable videos.

So it's clear that Baby Boomers are not the Luddites that some media critics seem to suggest, and in fact are very plugged in to technology adoption, something that marketing initiatives have yet to reflect.

About Ray B Williams
Ray B Williams is Co-Founder of Success IQ University a company based in Phoenix, Arizona providing the most innovative products and services to help professionals, entrepreneurs and business owners be more successful in life and work.
Ray is also President of Ray B Williams Associates, a company based in Vancouver B.C., providing executive coaching services.
Ray has been a CEO, HR executive, management consultant and executive coach and leadership trainer for over thirty years, working with leaders throughout the world. He is also a Certified Hypnotherapist and Master NLP Coach. Ray has written two books books on leadership and writes a regular column for the National Post, Fast Company and Psychology Today.
Ray is in demand as a speaker, coach, trainer, consultant and author throughout North America.
www.successiqu.com www.raywilliamsassociates.com;
Take our Success IQ Quiz for free to see how successful you are in life! www.successiqquiz.com

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2010-03-12T17:19:00.003+05:30

How to motivate employees: What do we know?

by Ray B Williams

How many management articles, books, speeches and workshops have pleaded plaintively, "How do I get employees to do what I want?"

Motivating people to do their best work, consistently, has been an enduring challenge for executives and managers. Even understanding what constitutes human motivation has been a centuries old puzzle, addressed as far back as Aristotle. Now brain science is giving us some new insights into motivation.

When Frederick Herzberg researched the sources of employee motivation during the l950s and l960s, he discovered a dichotomy that still intrigues and baffles managers: The things that make people satisfied and motivated on the job are different in kind from the things that make them dissatisfied. Ask workers what makes them unhappy at work, and you'll hear them talk about insufficient pay or an uncomfortable work environment, or "stupid" regulations and policies that are restraining or the lack of job flexibility and freedom. So environmental factors can be demotivating, but even if managed brilliantly, fixing these factors won't motivate people to work harder or smarter.

It turns out that people are motivated by interesting work, challenge, and increasing responsibility--intrinsic factors. People have a deep-seated need for growth and achievement.

Herzberg's work influenced a generation of scholars and researchers--but never seemed to make an impact on managers in the workplace, where the focus on motivation remained the "carrot-and-stick" approach, or external motivators.

What do we mean by motivation? It's been defined as a predisposition to behave in a purposeful manner to achieve specific, unmet needs and the will to achieve, and the inner force that drives individuals to accomplish personal and organizational goals. And why do we need motivated employees? The answer is survival. Motivated employees are needed in our rapidly changing workplaces, and to be effective, managers need to understand that and do something about it.

A review of the research literature by James R. Lindner at Ohio State University concluded that employee motivation was driven more by factors such as interesting work than financial compensation. John Baldoni, author of Great Motivation Secrets of Great Leaders, concluded that motivation comes from wanting to do something of one's own free will, and that motivation is simply leadership behavior--wanting to do what is right for people and the organization.

More recently, due to the expanding field of neuroscience, we've acquired new insights into the motivation issue. In the July, 2008 issue of the Harvard Business Review, authors Nitin Nohria, Boris Groysberg and Linda-Eling Lee describe a new model of employee motivation. They outline the four fundamental emotional drives that underlie motivation as: The drive to acquire (the acquisition of scarce material things, including financial compensation, to feel better); the drive to bond (developing strong bonds of love, caring and belonging); the drive to comprehend (to make sense of our world so we can take the right actions);and the drive to defend (defending our property, ourselves and our accomplishments).

Norhria and associates argue that managers who try to increase motivation must satisfy all of these four drives. Best practice companies have initiated reward systems based on performance; addressed the bond drive by developing a corporate culture based on friendship, mutual reliance, collaboration and sharing; addressed the drive of comprehend by instituting job design system where jobs are designed for specific roles, and those jobs are meaningful and foster a sense of contribution to the organization. And finally to address the defend drive, best practice companies restructure their leadership approaches to increase transparency of all processes, ensure fairness through the organization and build trust and openness with everyone.

In his new book, Drive, Daniel Pink, author of A Whole New Mind, describes what he says is "the surprising truth" about what motivates us. Pink says that true motivation boils down to three elements: Autonomy, the desire to direct our own lives; mastery, the desire to continually improve at something that matters to us, and purpose, the desire to do things in service of something larger than ourselves. Pink, joining a chorus of many others, warns that the traditional "command-and-control" management methods in which organizations use money as a contingent reward for a task, are not only ineffective as motivators, but actually harmful.

And brain science is now giving us some physiological clues as to how motivation works. Consider this: 98% of everything scientists know about the human brain has been discovered in the last 6 years; 80% of what scientists thought was true about the human brain before 1995 has now been found to be false, or misleading.

A U.S. National Institute of Health Study using brain scans, has found that the neurotransmitter dopamine is central to the human brain network governing motivation as well as reward and pleasure. Joseph Le Doux, in his book, Human Emotions: A Reader, describes new recent brain research that has shown that emotions are the driver for decision-making, which includes aspects of motivation.

In summary, the implications for managers in organizations are significant. Leaders today must be not just cognizant of the latest research on motivation, but take action to make those organizational and relationship changes to take advantage of this research.

About Ray B Williams
Ray B Williams is Co-Founder of Success IQ University a company based in Phoenix, Arizona providing the most innovative products and services to help professionals, entrepreneurs and business owners be more successful in life and work.
Ray is also President of Ray B Williams Associates, a company based in Vancouver B.C., providing executive coaching services.
Ray has been a CEO, HR executive, management consultant and executive coach and leadership trainer for over thirty years, working with leaders throughout the world. He is also a Certified Hypnotherapist and Master NLP Coach. Ray has written two books books on leadership and writes a regular column for the National Post, Fast Company and Psychology Today.
Ray is in demand as a speaker, coach, trainer, consultant and author throughout North America.
www.successiqu.com www.raywilliamsassociates.com;
Take our Success IQ Quiz for free to see how successful you are in life! www.successiqquiz.com

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2010-03-12T17:11:00.003+05:30

Healing Emotional Dependency

by Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

You are emotionally dependent when your happiness, sense of safety, and sense of worth are dependent upon others' love, attention, and approval.

When you were growing up, perhaps you heard statements like:

"What will the neighbors think?"

"What will__(so and so)__think if you do that?"

Were you taught that what others think of you matters? That you are okay if you are approved of and not okay if you are not? Was your worth tied to your achievements - such as your grades or sports? Did you learn to define your worth externally by your performance or your looks?

Most people were brought up to believe that others are responsible for defining their worth, and the media certainly plays on this, implying that if you buy this car or that product, you will get the approval that defines you as worthy. The media even implies that the product itself somehow enhances your worth.

This is a hard way to live, as you have to constantly prove yourself. And what happens to your happiness, safety, and sense of worth when you grow old and lose your looks, or you lose your money in a down market? What happens to your worth if you gain weight or never make it financially? Does this mean that you have no worth as a human being?

There are two major decisions you need to make to heal from emotional dependency:

1. You need to decide to learn how to take full 100% responsibility for your own feelings - your happiness and pain, your inner sense of safety, and your sense of worth.

2. You need to decide to define your worth - not by what others think of you or by your looks or by how much money you have, but by how well you love and what you contribute.

TAKING 100% RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR FEELINGS

Taking responsibility for your feelings means that you stay aware of how you are causing your own feelings of anxiety, depression, guilt, shame, anger, and fear by what you tell yourself and how you treat yourself. It means that you discover how you abandon yourself by judging yourself, ignoring your feelings, turning to addictions, and making others responsible for you. It means that you learn how to love yourself rather than continue to abandon yourself. The Inner Bonding process is a powerful process for learning to love yourself.

Taking responsibility for your feelings also means that you become kind and gentle toward yourself with the painful feelings of life - the heartache, heartbreak, loneliness, grief, and sorrow of life. It means that instead of avoiding these feelings by trying to control others or by turning to various addictions, to embrace them with deep compassion, allowing yourself to feel them and allowing them to move through you and be released, and stay open to what these feelings are telling you about others and events.

DEFINING YOUR WORTH

Taking responsibility for defining your own worth means that decide to define your worth internally - by your kindness, caring, compassion, and contributions to others - rather than by approval, looks and performance. It means that, rather than trying to get love, you make being loving to yourself and others your highest priority. It means that, instead of defining your worth by how thin you are, or by how much sex you have, or by the clothes you wear, or by the car you drive or the house you live in or by how much money you have, you define your worth by your kindness toward yourself and others, by what you contribute toward helping others, by your generosity of spirit, by your ability to love without strings attached.

In order to truly love others, you need to first learn to love yourself - taking emotional responsibility for all your own feelings. This is what the Inner Bonding process is all about.

About Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® healing process. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover your joy? Learn Inner Bonding now! Click here for a FREE Inner Bonding Course, and visit our website at www.innerbonding.com for more articles and help. Phone Sessions Available. Join the thousands we have already helped and visit us now!

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2010-03-11T23:25:00.003+05:30

A New Way to View Goals and Desired Outcomes

by Joyce Shafer

Goals and desired outcomes seem to come in two flavors: the ones easier to achieve and the ones we struggle with. There's a word you can apply to both that can shift the quality of your experiences and take some of the "charge" out of struggle.

Goals and desired outcomes "personal and professional" are imbued with an aspect we are, hopefully, aware of but sometimes aren't. That aspect is our Why; why we want or feel motivated or inspired about what we say we desire to experience. Your Why can be enhanced with this word I'll share with you in a moment.

You may feel you have passionate commitment, yet experience blocks when you wish to get started or to move forward. These blocks are about beliefs: assumptions, presumptions, habitual limiting thoughts, a need to reframe so you tell yourself a supportive story rather than an unsupportive one, and so on.

If you feel blocked about going for what you want or having the quality experience you desire, identifying what holds you back can feel like one more task added to your list, and not necessarily a small one.

Although identifying blocks so you can go beyond them is important, here's a suggestion for a more gentle way to assist you to shift this. Its power is in choosing to use one specific word, and to always start with your Self: Reverence.

To be clear, the definition I mean is not religious or to be in awe, but to regard with deep respect, and even love, when appropriate. Deep respect can also be viewed as profound appreciation.

If you struggle with weight or health issues, how does it feel to view doing what it will take so you do what you need to do, if you apply the word reverence to caring for and honoring your body and well being as defined above? How might it feel to take needed steps if you view each step with reverence?

If you struggle with feeling confident or any of the words you could fit into this category to feel strong and authentic, what's the feeling you get when you consider feeling reverence for your personal journey and process as you explore and expand who you really are underneath layers of limiting beliefs?

Take a moment to apply this word, reverence, to the following: happiness, financial well being, creativity, integrity, enjoyment, life purpose, spirituality, relationships, how you apply yourself in your work, view others, view your Self, life, humanity.

When we work towards goals; even small ones, we often attach judgments about how we're doing. When we do this, our experience may not be "boring," but neither is it necessarily a more pleasant one or open to conscious awareness and easier personal expansion at the inner level. And no matter what we think about desired outcomes, we cannot separate the fact we desire them, because we wish to feel a certain way.

Reverence gives you permission to be, permission to honor yourself as you are, and as you choose to become or unfold. It gives you permission to ask yourself questions that help you align with genuine appreciation for you and the path you walk through life, to move forward with fewer emotional burdens so often carried on your "shoulders" like a bag of rocks.

You want to know your Why for doing anything. Then, ask yourself what every moment and choice would be like if you stepped into reverence. This can help you have a better chance of aligning with how you can move forward with more grace and ease, to take all the steps with a better perspective. This can assist you to make conscious choices. It helps you see reverence cannot co-exist with judgment of any kind, which is another block, created in the mind.

Experiences and how we move through them are not solely the means to ends. They are ends in themselves. Imagine viewing means and ends with reverence. How does this feel for you?
You are welcome to reprint this article. Just use my bio as a complete statement.

About Joyce Shafer
Success = Better Questions to Get Better Answers. Is it time to learn how to more effortlessly have desired experiences in life and business? Let Reinvent Yourself: Refuse to Settle for Less in Life and Business coaching program or e-book show you how. You Are More! Empowerment Coach Joyce Shafer, author of I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, but I Have Something to Say (jls1422@yahoo.com). Details about the program, her books and e-books, and current free weekly newsletter at http://stateofappreciation.webs.com

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2010-03-11T23:18:00.003+05:30

How About A Heads Up?

by Nan Russell

It didn't take long while on safari in Botswana, to begin to recognize the animal calls heralding a predator roaming in the area. What intrigued me was the pass-along path those calls took, from animal group to animal group. The shrieks of baboons, the trumpeting of elephants, the screams of francolins, the cries of impalas were picked up by adjacent animals and sent out for as long as the threat remained.

In that predator-prey world, where survival depends on heeding and passing on warning calls, this was nature's equivalent of a "heads up." It got me thinking. Why isn't there as effective a process in the workplace? Sure, none of us are in danger of being eaten, but danger still lurks, emerges or requires attention from time to time. And a heads up can reduce the frequency of encountering it, limit feelings you're out there on your own, or save you stress and disruption.
While most people try to pass warnings on to same-team teammates, they often get distracted, forgetting to give a shout that the project deadline was accelerated, the boss is saying no to everything today, or the direction has changed. And when it comes to crossing imaginary boundaries, they rarely do.

Accounting, IT, Creative Services, Customer Support all may be affected by information we know. But, warnings rarely find their way across silo perimeters. Too many think in terms of personal survival and small departmental herds, instead of company survival and large group thriving.

If elephants only listened to warnings from elephants, zebras from other zebras or giraffes from other giraffes, there'd be a lot more dead animals in the African bush. The process for nature's heads-up insures that alarm calls cross animal groupings and geographic boundaries. The process protects the larger whole. Our workplace communications should too.

But let me be clear. After twenty years in management, I'm not naïve to antics of a few who deliberately "forget" to give teammates that heads-up, believing survival of the fittest requires sinister intentions. But, they're the minority. Most people have good intentions, but poor execution.

Neither is true of people who are winning at working. They're big team thinkers. They automatically share information to help others succeed. They sound the heads-up alarm and pass along warnings when they get them. They believe that only if the company does well (or the country or the world), will they prosper within it.

What separates people who are winning at working from people who aren't is their philosophy. They believe it's when we're all winning that we all win, and helping others thrive helps them survive. As Maya Angelou so aptly puts it, "Nobody, but nobody, can make it out here alone." That's as true in the workplace as it is in the African bush. My advice? Give as many heads-up as you can.

(c) 2010 Nan S. Russell. All rights reserved.

About Nan Russell
Nan Russell has spent over twenty years in management, most recently with QVC as a Vice President. She has held leadership positions in Human Resource Development, Communication, Marketing and line Management. Nan is the author of the book "Hitting Your Stride: Your Work, Your Way" (Capital Books; Jan 2008) and radio host of "Work Matters" weekly on webtalkradio.net

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2010-03-11T22:56:00.003+05:30

A Lesson from the Olympic Games

by Davis Goss

My favorite time of year! I can't think of any TV programming I look forward to more than the Olympics... winter or summer. It's not so much any particular sport as my admiration for the athletes who have committed so much just to be there.

My heart goes out to those thousands who have worked just as hard and didn't make it. Their work ethic and dedication to the achievement of a goal that can never be taken from them. In the "real world" we all have to meet competition and nothing will contribute more to building our character and ability to meet competition than adherence to the Olympic work ethic.

Each of us has a particular talent which we must nurture. It may not lead to the Olympic Games, but just as important as the athlete's development and devotion to achievement, we should all strive to develop a similar work ethic to achieve the goals and objectives of our personal lives and basic life principles.

I've had the privilege of meeting and living with some young Olympians. "Back in the day", my wife and I had the privilege of having the Olympic Cycling Team stay at our home. When you have a bunch of young athletes who are grateful just to sleep on the floor, you don't mind if they eat twice as much as "normal" people! If these guys were a cross section of today's Olympians, and I'm sure they were, we can all be proud to support the Olympic cause.

My daughter married one of them. She has always had a good work ethic which is required by the demands of a serious cyclist. She developed a love for the sport and, after more than 30 years, is still an avid cyclist and still competes in cycling events. Today she is a certified professional Physical Trainer and Coach and is the standard by which physical conditioning can be measured. It's all built on her dedicated adherence to the Olympic tradition of excellence. (Hey, I'm her Dad and I have the right to brag!)

She also has that rare balanced awareness of her personal achievements and knowing who she is as a person. She is one of the biggest supporters of my book, "The Science of LIVING BETTER FOREVER" and, like so many others, has benefited from its unique approach to the science of building harmonious life experiences. In my opinion, it should be required reading for anyone searching for that extra ingredient that will lift them above the competition. (It is available in print form from Amazon or in an expanded E-book format from my website: www.livingbetterforever.com)

Whatever your particular skill or talent may be, when you adhere to the scientific principles revealed in my book, coupled with the dedicated commitment of Olympic principles of achievement, you will have triumphed over all competition. You will have won YOUR Olympic Game and not settled for anything less than GOLD!

About Davis Goss
Over the past 50+ years as a creative consultant, with particular expertise in problem solving, Davis Goss has developed, tested and proven a singularly unique approach to resolving â��impossibleâ�� problems to the benefit of a widely diverse client base.
Unlike any other, his discovery is a radical departure from traditionally accepted problem solving methods that are based on academic theory and philosophical abstractions and are devoid of any scientific demonstrable operating principles. His scientific approach is based solely on impersonal, universal, natural laws and principles (defined by Webster as, â��the creative and controlling forces of the universeâ��) that, by their very nature and definition, assure positive results with predictable certainty.

The logical continuity of these natural laws and principles are delineated in his book, â��The Science of LIVING BETTER FOREVERâ�� available in print form from Amazon or in an expanded E-book version through his website at: www.livingbetterforever.com
Want more information? Articles detailing the application of his techniques to a wide variety of applications are presented in his Blog at: www.davisgoss.com. For no-obligation clarification and answers to questions, contact him at: ideaguy@davisgoss.com

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2010-03-11T22:20:00.003+05:30

Achieve Your Goals by Obeying the 4 Laws of Action

by Karim Ismail

The "Law of Attraction" will not help you unless you obey the four laws of action. Do you think you can you really just think and grow rich?

Well, you're in for a rude awakening. I am sure that even Napoleon Hill would agree with me that you cannot merely think and grow rich. The Law of Attraction only works when paired with what I like to call the Law of Action.

As a former manager of large building projects, I know that you can't think a building into being. That would be absurd. Yes, every project begins with a vision and inspiration. But you can only visualize for so long. For the building to take form you need detailed blueprints. Then you need to assemble the right materials. And, finally you need to hire the right people with the right skills set.

Why would you think that's any different with your business and life goals? I've talked to many people who visualize and use affirmations waiting for the Law of Attraction to work but they remain stuck in a rut. They're sitting around wondering why they're not making any progress.

Why Most People Fail to Successfully Achieve Their Goals

They are missing ACTION. They are NOT taking steps to achieve their goals. It's like they're waiting for results to come on a silver platter just because they're visualizing success. I'm going to tell you right now - you get exactly what you put into it.

If you take action and you increase your speed of implementation, you'll experience a phenomenon. In fact, there's a good chance that you'll be able to achieve more in the next 12 months than you did in the previous 12 years.

4 Laws of Action to Add to the Law of Attraction to Help You Achieve Your Goals:

Law #1: Take a look at your affirmations and make sure they are about things you have a true passion for. That probably sounds obvious but all too often we pursue things because it pleases a family member or because we think it would be financially lucrative, even though our heart isn't in it.

Law #2: Use very precise wording when visualizing or using affirmations. Instead of saying, "I'm a millionaire," say "I'm in the process of becoming a millionaire real estate investor." Be precise and acknowledge that you are in the process of becoming whatever it is you want to become. It will be easier for your subconscious to align itself with that.

Law #3: Create weekly and monthly goals. This is where the Law of Action enters the picture. Sit down with your calendar at the beginning of each month and write down your goal for that month. Maybe it's a specific income goal or a goal about closing a real estate deal for example.

Then write down the specific actions you will take each week to accomplish that goal. Also include actions such as training, reading and networking.

Law #4 Have a clear plan for your day and be sure to reflect and learn from the powerful lessons that come your way each day. Ask yourself these 7 key questions at the end of every day. I have found that when I do this in a purposeful manner, everyday, it completely changes both my outcomes and my outlook on life.

* What made me happy today?

Think of all the things that made you happy, and list them. They could be the beautiful sunrise, the smile of a child, a connection you make with someone or the difference you made in the life of someone.

* What am I grateful for today?

Instead of complaining, try being grateful for everything you have. Remember that most people in the world likely have far, far less to be grateful for than you do.

* What lessons did I learn today?

Life is full of lessons both small and big. We learn from both the good things that happen to us and the not-so-good things. Write these lessons down and review them once a week and over time you will be amazed at how much you have learned.

* What was my good deed today?

This has been the most difficult question for me. I try to live a life helping people. I contribute to various causes. But my definition of a good deed is doing something that I went out of my way to do for someone else, with no expectation of gain (as opposed to opening the door for someone, letting a car butt in ahead of me or other acts of civility.)

* What was important to me today?

Reaching milestones, targets, and acquiring new customers is important to me. But do I really want those milestones to define what is the most important to me? Yes, goals are important but am I concentrating on the goals that are truly the most important to me? Keep your perspective on life. Pay careful attention to what is truly makes you happy.

* What did I do to move me towards my goals today?

As you reflect on each day, think about the three or four key life goals that you have outlined for yourself. Ask yourself honestly how the things you did today helped you stay on track with one or more of those goals?

* What will make tomorrow even more outstanding?

Every day, I visualize what my next day will be like and what outcomes I will achieve. I prescribe an amazing day for my next day. A funny thing happens. That is exactly how the vast majority of my days appear.

So go ahead and prescribe a fantastic day full of purpose every day - and watch yourself attracting what you visualize, day by day!

If you follow the advice above and in my step-by-step blueprint for designing your future "Keep Any Promise," you will achieve all of your business and life goals. I invite you to go to KeepAnyPromise.com to complete my FREE LIFE QUIZ and to learn more about my system.

About Karim Ismail
In his new book "Keep Any Promise," Karim Ismail provides many other exercises and tools that will help you achieve your audacious goals this coming year so you can be successful in business and life Now, you can get started with my free Life Quiz at: http://www.KeepAnypromise.com. This Life Quiz is a survey about YOU (think of it as a 50 Point Personal Check Up) and will help you create your successful life blueprint for a satisfying life.

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2010-03-11T21:57:00.003+05:30

Gaining Others' Respect

by Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

We all want to be respected by others. And, we would all love to have control over whether or not others treat us respectfully. Is this realistic?

Nigel, one of my clients, has a lot of confusion about this issue. He believes that people, especially his wife and children, "should" be respectful to him, and he gets very angry when they treat him disrespectfully - which they often do.

What Nigel has failed to understand - which is what led him to seek my help - is that others are often a mirror of how we treat ourselves.

Much of my work with Nigel has centered around becoming aware of the many ways he disrespects himself and what would be respectful to himself.

EMOTIONALLY:
* He often judges his own feelings, discounting his feelings and telling himself that he "shouldn't" feel this way.

* He often ignores his feelings, staying focused in his head instead of his body, and turning to addictions, such as sugar and TV to numb his feelings.

* He sees himself as a victim of others' choices, making others responsible for his feelings rather than taking responsibility for his own pain and joy.

PHYSICALLY:
* He often stays up late watching TV, disrespecting his need for adequate sleep.

* He often grabs junk food, not taking the time to eat well, disrespecting his body's need for good nutrition.

* He doesn't take the time to exercise so he is out of shape, disrespecting his need for a strong and healthy body.

* He dresses poorly, even to the point of wearing socks with holes in them, and often wearing dirty or wrinkled clothes, disrespecting his inner desire for clean and appropriate clothing.

ORGANIZATIONALLY:
* He is often late, disrespecting his inner desire to get places on time and not be stressed about it.

* His desk is often a mess, disrespecting his inner desire for order in his life.

FINANCIALLY:
* He does not balance his checkbook and is often overdrawn at the bank, much to the distress of his wife.

* While he makes plenty of money, he doesn't save anything, creating an inner sense of insecurity.

* He often uses money to try to control how others feel about him, disrespecting his own inner worth by trying to buy others' approval.

RELATIONALLY:
* He often care-takes others rather than saying no when he means no, and yes when he means yes, giving himself up to control others, completely disrespecting his own feelings and needs.

* He often explains and defends, trying to control others rather than standing in his own power.

SPIRITUALLY:
* While he believes in God, he takes no time to nourish himself spiritually.

* He does things in business that he is not proud of, not respecting himself enough to behave with integrity.

These are just a few of the ways that Nigel has learned to disrespect himself. Others, seeing or sensing his disrespect for himself, naturally treat him with the same disrespect with which he treats himself. Rather than becoming angry at them, Nigel is learning to see them as a mirror of his own inner system. Each time his wife or children, or anyone else treats him disrespectfully, Nigel is learning to go inside and see how he is treating himself.

As a result of this, more people are treating him respectfully. While there will always be some people who are consistently disrespectful to everyone, Nigel is finding out that others do change in response to his changes. He is also learning to respect himself enough to disengage from others when they are being disrespectful to him.

About Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® healing process. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover your joy? Learn Inner Bonding now! Click here for a FREE Inner Bonding Course, and visit our website at www.innerbonding.com for more articles and help. Phone Sessions Available. Join the thousands we have already helped and visit us now!

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2010-03-11T21:27:00.004+05:30

Increasing Productivity - 5 Tips in Looking & Improving Your Overall Effectiveness

by Karel Murray

Have you ever concentrated on something so hard that the world seems to recede into the background? Like when you see a blemish on your chin and it begins to take on the dimensions of a quarter? Or when you are shuffling through a business proposal that you must deliver that day to an unsupportive group of peers?

Each, in their own right seem to gobble up every inch of computing brain space as you mull over advantages, consequences, causes, and reactions of others. Our level of anxiety over the mind numbing details might eventually increase to such an extent that other areas of our life run out of control. It gets to the point where nothing in business and in life is getting done. You are no longer productive!

When I allow myself to drift into single minded focus, my husband will look at me with an incredulous expression on his face and announce "You are just not seeing the big picture!"
You see, I was taught that the devil is in the details and consequently the big picture will take care of itself if I address every single little nuance - such as correcting a spelling error in a love letter sent to me by my fiancé'. I think that was the first clue to my husband Rick that our marriage would take on interesting elements.

When You Become So Focused On One Particular Thing - You Miss Other Opportunities in Business and in Life

A classic caution in driving is to avoid highway hypnosis where the driver's eyes are so locked onto the road ahead that they don't see what is developing around them. This is a ripe condition for accidents to happen. Well, we are doing the same thing when considering the changes we want to make in our personal life, careers or businesses.

When we do strategic planning, all of the elements related to our business need to be evaluated through a non judgmental process. Awareness of our surroundings can actually help us prioritize and focus on "what is" and "what needs to be" in our business decisions.

To achieve productive focus, try following the tips below before you make any short or long -term decisions.

5 Ways to Look at the Big Picture and Improve Overall Productivity While Reducing Stess and Anxiety...

1. Figure out what your present economic environment looks like? Has there been a downturn or growth in your area of expertise? What have other businesses like yours experienced and does that mirror what is happening to you? Once you have an accurate depiction of how your business arena is developing, you can begin to address areas to update, change or enhance.

2. Evaluate how your business is impacted by turnover? Is your time taken up in orienting new hires or actively working to maintain key employees in terms of running your business? Is your staff working at optimum levels and enjoying the work they do? If you are a single entrepreneur, are your physical and mental resources charged up and in good working condition? Often our personal energy overrides the physical or mental exhaustion we may feel and you may not even be aware your engine is slowing down. Take a personal inventory and do what you must in order to retain your vitality.

3. Take a solid look at your current financial situation. What amount of funds or business do you need to survive through an economic downturn and how much do you need in order to thrive? What resources do you have available to you to shore up your financial portfolio? Once these questions are answered, it will give you the foundation you need to establish business decisions.

4. Realistically evaluate your product or service offering and determine if the marketplace still wants it. Even though you feel the public needs what you have, a fickle public will purchase what it wants and may leave you behind. Consider taking active steps to interview other entrepreneurs and professionals as well as current and past clients for real-time information. Decisions made in a vacuum are never a good thing.

5. Assess what steps you need to take to catch up to the technology changes occurring in social networking, online meetings, and communication tools. Even though technology continues to evolve daily, you can utilize resources that meet your needs currently and through the next couple of years. Understand how your customers and clients relate to you and act accordingly.

Perspective is a wonderful thing. We may not like what we see (like an expanding waist line in the mirror.) But once we understand what is really happening, we can then take the necessary steps to fix it or build upon the successes that are already in place.

Focus on the big picture while enjoying the nuances of the individual elements that make up the image and environment. You will improve your overall productivity and at the same time reduce your stress and anxiety.

I think I hear my husband cheering. Sweet.

About Karel Murray
Karel Murray (http://www.karel.com/) is a Certified Speaking Professional, author of "Hitting Our Stride: Women, Work and What Matters" and business trainer who helps women entrepreneurs and executives resolve interpersonal issues and balance their work/personal lives. Now, you can listen to her exciting, free interviews that will help you maintain and sustain a healthy business and a healthy lifestyle at http://www.justforamomentpodcast.com/

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2010-03-10T23:54:00.003+05:30

Talent Management: Retain Top Talent Without Derailing the Organization

by Tony Kubica

Most people would not choose to build a house on a weak foundation. Why then do leaders risk the company's future on an untested, inexperienced employee?

To keep them motivated?

To ensure they stay with the company?

But at what cost - to the employee, the employees who work for them and the company.

Yes, if you want to retain your top employees, you must...

1 Give them a reason to stay
2 Find a way to motivate them
3 Reward them.

But, if you reward too much, too fast - it can be dangerous for your entire organization.

In order for companies to retain top talent and stay competitive in today's market they are engaging in fast tracking. This means they are moving selected employees quickly to or through managerial levels in an organization.

5 Reasons Why Fast Tracking is a Dangerous Strategy for Increasing Employee Retention

1 Skills can be learned quickly; experience takes time. In order to be an effective leader, your managers need to gain experience in:

* Correctly identifying and solving problems
* Framing and making good decisions
* Dealing with the myriad of people-related issues that confront every manager in every organization
* Organization course correction
* Role-based leadership

2 Many times, when your organization engages in fast tracking, a new manager will set a new initiative in motion and then leave the position before the impact of the initiative is realized.They are missingthe day-to-day experience of interpersonal behaviors and interactions that come with any transition-the intangible. It's these subtleties that are often missed. And it's these subtleties and the way you handle them that hones a good leader.

3 Each managerial level brings new challenges and requires different skills and behaviors. Moving too quickly through an organization runs the risk of missing critical experiential learning. Experience is accretive and it is difficult to learn vicariously. What you learn today you use as a framework for how you behave and react tomorrow. Short changing this learning cycle can result in a leader derailing later.

4 When leaders derail because a company engaged in fast tracking in order to retain top talent, it creates a disastrous domino effect for the organization as a whole. We all know that the number one reason people leave a company is because of their immediate supervisor. We also know that poor decisions and poor problem solving skills can result in service and profitability deterioration for a company.

5 Fast tracking creates a winner / loser environment within the company. Unless you want to build a highly-competitive, stressful environment and internal culture that makes your employees hate Mondays because it is the start of a work week, creating winners and losers is not a good long term strategy.

Why Companies Engage in Fast Tracking Even Though It's Dangerous to the Health of their Organization

Companies need to grow talent internally and insure smooth management transitions. And the reality is that some industries are disproportionally affected by talent shortages (such ashealthcare)and may have no other choice than to promote an employee who is truly not ready to handle the position.

(This is a common practice for technical and clinical staff promoted to management).
So what should you do?

7 Tips for Retaining Top Talent Without Hurting Your New Manager, Employees and the Company

1. Develop a succession plan for your company. This means get committed to a process or structure of internal management and talent development.

2. Identify individuals within the organization who have the potential to move into leadership positions. You should be identifying multiple candidates for each position. Don't be afraid to take some risks in candidate identification. Not all high potential candidates initially present an outgoing and aggressive demeanor (and remember these qualities do not necessarily ensure a good manager.)

3. Provide the identified individuals with opportunities to take on additional projects to demonstrate their skills as well as their ability to learn and grow.The projectsshould create the opportunity for the candidates to "live" with the consequences and take responsibility for their actions and decisions.

4. Provide new managers with an internal mentor and an external coach to insure support during the transition process. This support should be for at least six months to one year. This process is referred to as: transition integration".

5. Give all new managers a personality and job performance assessment. This is a valuable tool in identifying emerging leader attributes and potential risk areas. Now you will be able to enable early intervention and prevention and give the most effective support to the new manager. This is better than the"sink or swim" approach to learning that new managers are often thrown into.

6. Provide all candidates with self-assessment tools and learning opportunities. Do this both within the organization in the form of added responsibilities and through outside learning opportunities such as conferences and executive education programs, professional memberships.

7. Monitor your new manager's progress (through the supervisor andmentoring and coaching support) andreview your succession plan each year. Evaluate the success of the current program and the individuals in the program. Improve where necessary and identify and support new leadership candidates.

Be aware that some candidates simply may not be interested in this more protracted and performance based approach. They may feel threatened or choose to leave. That's OK too. The risk of promoting too quicklyand the derailment that could occur is not worth the harm an unprepared manager can bring to the organization.

Talent is to be developed, not anointed.

About Tony Kubica
Management Consultants and Business Performance Improvement Specialists Tony Kubica and Sara Laforest have 50+ years of combined experience in helping budding entrepreneurs accelerate their business growth in record times. Now, they unveil the common, subtle and self-destructive actions that will hurt your business performance. Get their free special report: "Self-Sabotage in Business" now: http://www.kubicalaforestconsulting.com/resources.php

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2010-03-10T23:44:00.002+05:30

Come Together, People!

by Julie Farha

There's so much fear and negativity these days, mixed with a renewed sense of hope. Emotions are heightened; stress is at its maximum. I have two solutions:

1. Come together.
2. Have some fun!

It's time for us to come together. If we want this current crisis to end, coming together is the answer. It is time of massive change in our world and it's all very new for us. We need to see each other and acknowledged one another. We've been living in our own worlds for far too long.

No man is an island. We're all living here together and it's time we recognized that.

How in the world will coming together keep me from losing my job, my house, my savings, how will it pay my bills or feed my family? By creating community and knowing you aren't in this alone.

It's time to support each other. Not with laws, regulations and mandates but with kindness, compassion and understanding. Say you have lost your job and need to care you're young family.

Perhaps your neighbor offers to share resources such as food, or baby sitting as you look for employment. Maybe he or she puts you in touch with a friend whose children are just older than yours and therefore has loads of gently used clothing that your children could use. Wouldn't that help you through this difficult time?

Maybe your relative has lost their home and doesn't know what to do next. You suggest he or she stay with you until things are sorted. You agree to share resources, everyone chipping in and taking care of all household needs. Sure, your house may be a little crowded and you'll all have to adjust your lifestyles a little but your home will be buzzing with love, caring and support. That is a gift to everyone involved.

What are you willing to do to help another? Share your home or food? Create a neighborhood clearing house for others to exchange goods that are no longer needed? Maybe the clearing house could also include tradesmen and women who can exchange services. We all need something sometime and many are willing to share their talents when needed. They just need to be asked. This is a great solution when finances are tough. When we share items and services, the need for money is greatly decreased.

Next, we need to have a little more fun! What does fun look like to you? Fun doesn't have to cost money. It can be as simple as having friends over for game night and a few munchies. Play with your pets. Go outside and roll around in the grass/snow/leaves. We all need to laugh right now. Laugh as much as possible. Have a dinner club and share meals more often. There are lots of creative ways to have fun. Watch a funny movie or home movies.

Go on a hike with a group of neighbors. Do you even know your neighbors? Get to know them. It's fun! Reconnect with family members. Let go of old issues. Really let go of them. Ask for forgiveness and offer forgiveness. Again, back to the coming together point.

If you're single, you may feel scared and alone. If you have a family, you may feel scared and wonder how you will care for them. Bottom line, folks.... Come together. We are not alone and we don't need to do this alone. Wouldn't a little support boost your spirits and give you hope? It would certainly decrease your stress and give clarity a chance to come through.

By coming together, we strengthen the collective. As a result, we can mitigate the negative impact of challenges and crises. The years to follow will bring many changes and some maybe we've never experienced in our lifetimes. Come together and we can lessen the negativity. Come together and help with the creation of a new world of connection and support. Come together and create this new world out of choice and not necessity. This is how we will navigate these times. And coming together is a whole lot of FUN!

About Julie Farha
Julie Farha is an intuitive, personal coach, speaker and author of Exploring Your Potential; Who am I and what am I doing here? She holds interactive seminars and is available for private sessions and speaking engagements. Julie@JulieFarha.com, www.JulieFarha.com 480-998-1447

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2010-03-06T21:33:00.002+05:30

Understanding Relationships

by Julie Farha

Conflicts, challenges and misunderstandings are common bumps in relationships. Understanding relationships means understanding in your relationships. Find understanding in each situation to keep things smooth and learn compassion.

When something happens that causes us hurt, pain or confusion, we often go immediately to blaming the other person, feeling like a victim or feeling wronged in some way. Instead, be understanding.

To understand is to seek the "why" in a situation. Every action is motivated by an emotion such as fear, love, insecurity, passion, pain, etc. One's behavior is usually a result of how they are feeling inside at that moment. It's not necessarily about you. If you can understand the emotion behind a seemingly hurtful behavior, you will see that most of the time the behavior isn't personal. You will also have more compassion for your partner as you will have a better knowing of their fears and insecurities.

We all have fears and sometimes we act out of these fears. Have you ever been at the supermarket and stood behind a very difficult, rude person at the checkout counter? Instead of judging him for his behavior or blaming him for making you late, pause and consider what may be going in his life. Maybe he just heard some bad news. Perhaps he is under a great deal of stress and is cracking under the pressure. He could be ill. Being in physical pain daily can be very challenging for one to always be upbeat.

Identify the possible reasons behind the behavior, not to condone or excuse but to understand and to therefore have compassion. Having compassion will open your heart to another. On the other side of this, knowing your partner is being understanding instead of blaming and judging is a great gift. It diffuses the tension and creates the opportunity to release your fears. You become more understanding in the process.

Being understanding can be a process at times and it may not come right away. But if you want it to, if you open your heart and get out of the blame game, it will come. Once you get there, it will greatly minimize the conflicts, hurt and confusion in all of your relationships. Your heart will open and your compassion will expand. And it will show you that things aren't usually personal.

About Julie Farha
Julie Farha is an intuitive, personal coach, speaker and author of Exploring Your Potential; Who am I and what am I doing here? She holds interactive seminars and is available for private sessions and speaking engagements. Julie@JulieFarha.com, www.JulieFarha.com 480-998-1447

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2010-03-06T21:25:00.003+05:30

Monday Momentum: The Best Way to Begin Your Week!

by Jill Koenig

Let me ask you, how did you begin your day today?

And how do you approach your week?

With positive determination and strength, eager to seize the day and opportunities before you?

Or with apprehension, dreading all you have to do?

Do you guide the direction of your week based upon your Goals?

Or do the circumstances of the week sweep you off track leaving you feeling like there's never enough time?

I learned very quickly that Mondays are a crucial day.

Some people are going to have a rough week simply because they have not decided to create an amazing one starting right now, today.

Your Goal for Mondays should be to create as much momentum as you possibly can towards completing your Goals and objectives, creating measurable progress, advancing your mission, giving as much as you can and taking a bite out of life.

I call it "Monday Momentum."

Why?

Because Monday sets the tone for the remainder of the week.

When you create momentum, it is actually easier to do what needs to be done later and the energy that your momentum creates actually carries you through.

Momentum breeds Momentum.

Momentum feeds your energy.

Momentum is contagious.

My mentor once told me this:

Here are some easy tips for creating Monday Momentum:
* Plan your entire week on paper in advance on Sunday evening.

* Get up a little earlier Monday mornings.

* Listen to an uplifting motivational or educational audio.

* The Time Commandments is a great program to get your head on straight to take on the week with focus, clarity and enthusiasm. (spaced repetition is one of the most powerful learning strategies known to man)

* Get your workout in early in the morning. (this will energize you to take on the day and you can even do this while you are listening to the audio)

* Look at your Goals. Rewrite them.

* Read newsletters and uplifting tips like this one. :)

* Drink lots of water and be sure to follow healthy diet and nutrition to keep your energy up throughout the day.

My mentor once told me this:

"If it's easy to do, it's easy not to do." -Jim Rohn

And some people will breeze right past these strategies because they seem too simple and easy.

But what we know about success is that every small step accumulates towards to bring about greatest of outcomes.

The beginning of anything is always a crucial time.

The same applies to your week.

The first hour in the morning is the rudder of your day.

No one should be hitting the snooze button on the alarm clock.

You should be popping out of bed like bread pops out of the toaster!

When you get off to a great start on Monday morning, the rest of the week will follow and you will breeze through the rest of the week with vitality and vigor.

What you do with your time and what time of day you do it is critical to understand in relation to Time Management.

High performing men and women consistently apply this secret and advance rapidly in life.

And Time Management is as much about having the right priorities and energy to create an amazing day full of momentum to build upon, which will lead to an amazing week, which leads to an amazing month, which leads to an amazing year, which leads to an amazing life... follow me?

Create a new habit of generating Monday Momentum.

What it will cost you if you don't?

Become invigorated.

Become unstoppable.

Live Your Dreams

About Jill Koenig
Jill Koenig is America's top Goal Strategist. A Best Selling Author, Coach and Motivational Speaker, she is an expert on the subject of Goal Achievement, Time Management, Leadership, Personal Fulfillment and Business Success. Get your FREE Goal Setting CD at http://www.Goalguru.com

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2010-03-06T21:20:00.002+05:30

Football taught me Everything I Need Know About Goal Setting

by Jill Koenig

Some of my most cherished memories from childhood are from pickup football games my friends and I played on the school lawn down the street from my house.

The other day I was going through an old box of pictures and I found a picture of myself and my friends in front of the schoolyard where we used to play football together and I began to think.

As I looked through the photos I remembered that watching and playing football gave me lessons about Goal Setting. If you are a football fan, you will appreciate this.

The Top 10 Lessons Football Taught Me About Goal Setting

1. He who scores first gains momentum. Have you ever heard a coach talk about an upcoming game? Almost always the coach declares the intention to score first, to put points on the board as soon as possible. This is so important because it gives the scoring team a psychological edge. Scoring first has the potential to boost your confidence and deflate your opponents psyche. I have seen many games where two teams with equal talent are won by the team who scored first.

2. Every inch, every yard forward counts because you become closer to your Goal. Most of your offensive plays gain at best an average of a few yards, but over time, they accumulate and contribute to forward movement. Inevitably at times you go backwards a few yards, but if you stay focused on your Goal, you can make up for it on the next play.

3. You cannot play defense the whole game. You cannot just sit back in reactive mode, waiting to see what everyone else is going to do or spend all of your energy responding to circumstances. You have to be proactive, play offense and move yourself towards the Goal by making things happen through deliberate thought and effort.

4. To be effective, you must manage the clock. There are four quarters in a game and there are four quarters in one year. Carefully and strategically allocate your time, energy and manpower to perform at your peak from beginning to end.

5. Take quarterly time outs to evaluate. Schedule these into your life. Examine your stats and measurements. How are you doing? You may need to make an adjustment in your game plan, tactics or fine tune your game plan for better results. If you are in need of a short break to re energize, or are off track at any time, simply call a time out and regroup.

6. You need a strategic Game Plan. Before the game is ever played, every player must know their part and be prepared to execute.

7. You need a great Coach. Even the most gifted, talented players need a Coach to bring out the best in them and keep them focused on the executing the plan. A Coach has a different perspective than the players. A great Coach brings experience and a holistic view of the game and can see things in the big picture that most players cannot see.

8. The greatest players in the game condition themselves year round. Those who enjoy longevity work just as hard on themselves outside of the game as they do in the game. They surround themselves with positive people who support their Goals. If luck is where preparation meets opportunity, the prepared outperform those who are not conditioned every time.

9. An effective Blitz can change the momentum and turn the game in your favor. Focusing all of your energy and attention on one area can catapult you forward by leaps and bounds.

10. Be a Leader, be a play maker. On every team, in every game, you know who the go to guy is and who will get the job done when the game is on the line. In close games you know who puts in the extra effort, that extra push, that will make the team a winner. Be that play maker in your chosen field.

In the game of football and in the game of life, be a team player. Be a leader and approach every important goal as if it your own personal Superbowl.

Enjoy the game and live your dreams.

About Jill Koenig
Jill Koenig is America's top Goal Strategist. A Best Selling Author, Coach and Motivational Speaker, she is an expert on the subject of Goal Achievement, Time Management, Leadership, Personal Fulfillment and Business Success. Get your FREE Goal Setting CD at http://www.Goalguru.com

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2010-03-06T21:14:00.003+05:30

Why You Must Set Goals: The Ten Biggest Benefits of Goal Setting

by Jill Koenig

Are you a student of success? I'm guessing since you are readingthis, you probably are.

I have been a student of success for as long as I can remember.For decades I have asked the question, "What makes one personsucceed and another person struggle?" Even in my childhood I wasa virtual sponge. I noticed the words, behaviors, and patterns ofthe people around me and the results they manifested.

I have committed to a lifelong study of success, to learn whatworks and what doesn't work so that I might duplicate positivethoughts and habits in my own life and share those lessons andobservations with others. It pays to study success. It also paysto study failure (your own and other's) to avoid unnecessarymistakes and the pain they bring. Mistakes and missteps areinevitable, and failure often provide as much benefit as successas long as you are paying attention.

Most high achievers I have studied took 100% responsibility fortheir life and made a concerted effort to learn the art of goalsetting. Most goal achievers invest their own time, energy andfinancial resources. Many have joined clubs, communities,organizations and hired a coach or mentor to further instill themastery of this crucial life skill.

There are literally hundreds of ways goal setting benefits yourlife. I have identified the top ten to serve as a reminder themany ways you can gain more control over your life and why it iscrucial that you do whatever it takes to learn and master the artof goal setting.

The 10 Biggest Benefits of Goal Setting

1. Greater Peace of Mind. There is nothing in the world likegoing to bed at night knowing you are investing the days of yourlife in the areas of your chosen endeavor. Nothing brings yougreater peace of mind than having the certainty that you areconsciously creating your destiny, living a life of your owndesign. Goal getters realize that you create your life goal bygoal. If you want a better life, set better goals.

2. Clarity of Purpose. Having carefully chosen goals gives yourlife greater meaning. Show me a person who doesn't know theirpassion or purpose in life and I will show you a person whoeither has no goals or pursues goals with no personal challengeor meaning. People who actively and systematically pursuemeaningful goals feel a greater sense of purpose and fulfillmentin life. What you are doing right now is either taking you wayfrom or towards your dreams. Goals help us navigate throughoutour journey. Our goals are a reflection of who we are.

3. Greater Productivity and Focus. People with goals directtheir day, instead of their day directing them. People with goalsknow their desired outcome and are less likely to waste time onunimportant matters. When you know your outcome, you avoiddistraction. You understand the people and pursuits that feedyour desires and those that do not. You know where to invest yourtime and energy. You also learn where NOT to spend your time.

4. Greater Personal Growth. Each time you pursue a new goaloutside your comfort zone, you contribute to your own personalgrowth and advancement. Pursuing goals causes you to stretch andlearn about yourself and the world around you. What was oncedifficult often becomes easier and you long to conquer newheights. Nothing in the world will give you a zest for life likeconsistent growth.

5. Higher Quality of Life. Quite simply, people who have goalsget more out of life. The more life you give to your goals, themore your goals give life to you. Having goals means you valueyour time and make the most of it. When you know what you wantand have a plan to get there, the journey is a lot more fun thanhaving no goals and no plans. Having goals makes life easier.People who set goals are happier and more fulfilled. When you arehappy and fulfilled you take loving care of yourself and havemore of yourself to give to the people you love. Happy, fulfilledpeople attract other happy and fulfilled people.

6. You Attract a Higher Quality Peer Group. People who havegoals and are moving towards them are energized and full of life.When you have goals for your life, you attract other people whohave goals of their own. And we are well aware of the power ofassociation. You become like the people you hang around.

7. Increased Confidence and Self Esteem. Each time you make acommitment to a goal and invest the very best of yourself towardsit's attainment, you gain more confidence and self esteem,regardless of whether or not you achieve the goal. Yoursubconscious mind knows that you gave your all and thatstrengthens your confidence muscle. Progressive action alwaysleads to growth and greater fulfillment. People that do not setgoals never venture outside of their comfort zone. Deep down theyknow they are not realizing their potential and feel bad aboutthemselves. People with goals are fully alive and dare to takerisks that elevate their place in life. Whether they win or lose,they learn and grow.

8. Contribution to Others. Whether or not you know it, someonelooks up to you. If you have children of your own, they are likelittle sponges, absorbing the words you speak and the actions youtake. Your behaviors serve as model to the people around you.Maybe it's your sibling, a coworker or even a kid down thestreet, someone looks up to you. Every time you set a goal andact on it, you serve as a shining example of a person who ismoving towards realizing your full potential in life. Wheneveryou pursue a goal, you inspire others to do the same.

9. Goals Help You Become a Better Person. Don't set goals forwhat you can get. Set goals for what they will make of you. Setgoals for who you become along the way. People who set goals andfollow through, develop the skill of overcoming obstacles. Peoplewho follow through on their goals and commitments develop aninner strength and unshakable character. People who do NOT setgoals never discover how great they can become. They never awakentheir dormant gifts and talents. Whenever you set and commit to agoal and follow through on your commitment, you strengthen yourcharacter and personal integrity.
And finally what is perhaps the biggest benefit of setting andpursuing goals...

10. For the benefit each individual goal will bring to yourlife. As you begin to master the art of goal setting, every goalyou set brings it's own unique positive result or benefit to yourlife. When I work with private coaching clients, before they seta goal, I ask them to determine 10 deeply compelling, personalreasons why they must achieve the goal they are consideringsetting. When you do this, you give yourself all the clarity andmotivation you need to fuel you beyond obstacles, all the waythrough to the goal's completion. If you cannot identify thebenefits in advance, you probably would not bother setting thegoal the first place. You can visualize your outcome by revelingin the results before they occur.

Once you master the art of setting and achieving a goal, you can have anything you want in life... anything.

So if you have not given yourself the gift of learning the artof goal setting, perhaps it's time.
If not now, when?

About Jill Koenig
Jill Koenig is America's top Goal Strategist. A Best Selling Author, Coach and Motivational Speaker, she is an expert on the subject of Goal Achievement, Time Management, Leadership, Personal Fulfillment and Business Success. Get your FREE Goal Setting CD at http://www.Goalguru.com

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2010-03-06T21:07:00.002+05:30

Heart And Meaning

by Carrie Fleharty

What has heart and meaning? The answer to that question will be different to each individual person. Maybe I should ask what has heart and meaning in your life? The simplified version of this question would be: "Am I fulfilled?" On a daily basis are you being fulfilled in your job, your relationships, your spirituality, your loves? How do you feel about each of these aspects of your lives?

For me, I am asking those very questions, but something is missing. Am I putting heart and meaning in my daily chores and routines? I start off my day with a prayer, and I end my day with a prayer. Something is missing in my life, and that missing piece is very important. I seem to go to work, and usually I'm fulfilled to some degree. Lately, however, I am not feeling very fulfilled. As I write this article I'm wondering if I forgot to put heart and meaning in my job. I have a wonderful relationship, but today, I could take it or leave it. I'm missing something there too. What is the missing piece?

This kind of reminds me of Shel Silverstein's book "The Missing Piece." If you haven't read that book, then I'd suggest you go to your local library and check one out. That book is all about what is missing in our lives. Anyway...let's continue.

As the writer Antoine de Saint-Exupery states "The meaning of things lies not in the things themselves, but in our attitude towards them." I bet if I were to look closely at my day job, then I would find that this statement would be true about my job. According to some sources the key to meaningfulness even at the job site is to embrace the situation, and look toward the mastery of the reason behind the situation or job. In other words look beyond the tasks that are to be accomplished, and realize that no one is alone. Find strength in the fact that all actions contribute to a cause, a situation or a job.

To find meaning in your life is to look at how you feel about the aspects of the situation, job, cause or task. Find out what bugs you, moves you, or angers you. Speak up, and put yourself out there. Take a stand, and show the situation, the cause, or job and be brave and show the world that you care. With care and expanding your focus beyond yourself and finding the underlying goals then you will be a part of something bigger than yourself. With that focus expanded then you will eventually find and embrace meaningfulness.

The way to go beyond yourself and embrace a fuller meaning is to become conscious of every action you take. To become conscious is to be awake in body, mind and soul. To provide heart and meaning the consciousness will bring to you greater meaning. In order to discover and develop an inner life and give your inner soul a voice is to touch your deepest most innermost feelings. These feelings become an important part of the workplace, or situation. If your feelings are not in tune with your body, mind and soul, then you are not living a meaningful life.

What has heart and meaning? Everything that you give conscious attention to becomes meaningful. So, in order for me to experience my job situation in a better light, then I must go beyond the task at hand and look towards the bigger picture. I also must dive into my inner most feelings and provide a voice to those feelings. If I am conscious at every moment, and with every task, then I am providing heart and meaning to the job. Eventually I'll be giving heart and meaning to everyone I encounter.

When in a situation, helping a cause, or in a job, become conscious. As they say; "Put your heart and soul into it." Then you will have a better life at work, or just a better life.

About Carrie Fleharty
Carrie Fleharty by day is a mild mannered school librarian, but at night she's become a successful author and a Personal Life Coach. She enjoys helping people become successful in any endeavor that they feel is important to them. She enjoys and embraces change and sees it as a way to improve herself. This improvement helps her associate with the needs of her coaching clients.
She intends to keep improving her life, and keeps challenging herself to become a better person. She thoroughly enjoys expressing herself through the written word. And has written three books "Quest to Live" http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/quest-to-live/6031779 "Changes and Shifts: a Personal Journey" and "A Poet's Mind and Soul." Available at www.success.bz
Her soul ignites through spiritual fire. She understands that the right spark can take a person to new meanings and new beginnings through a deeper sense of self. She is a seeker; she seeks Truth, the Devine, Spirituality, and Love. She believes that a spark will flame up to spread Truth. This Truth will be made known to all who seek.
After all "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure." A Return to Love: Reflections on a Course in Miracles by Marianne Williamson. Sometimes all it takes is a helping hand. I will be that helping hand in either personal, spiritual, health and wellness or being a mentor.

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2010-03-06T21:04:00.002+05:30

The Course of Life

by Julie Farha

Life is happening. Relationships are ending and new ones beginning. Jobs are being lost and new ways of generating income are being found. Things are changing. We are being called to find solutions and create new ways of living.

Yet for many this is a struggle. Fear of letting go, fear of the new, fear of the unknown. Fear of all kinds. All endings bring new beginnings. New work, relationships, experiences and gifts.

How to make this ongoing process easier? Let life run its course. Life has a divine rhythm. When we allow it to flow, everything is easier and outcomes are grand.

How do you let life run its course? Have patience, let go of control, take appropriate action when necessary and trust.

Have patience. Know that the pace of a change or event is perfect even if you think it's too slow or if you don't understand why. Things, people, circumstances are being lined up and this takes time.

Let go of control. Insisting that things have to be this way or that causes resistance and makes the process more difficult. It prevents a myriad of wonderful possibilities from occurring because you are focused on the fact that it has to be a certain way. Detach from the outcome. Allow for the possibilities even if you don't see what they are. Stop looking, stop controlling, just be and let life run its course.

Take appropriate action when needed. Set boundaries if necessary. Use discernment. Stay in forward motion so you don't stay stuck in the old or the fear. Introspect, evaluate, pray, meditate. If you have patience, trust and let go of control, you'll know what you need to do and when you need to do it.

Trust. Trust yourself. Trust the universe, God or what you call a higher power. Trust the journey and the process of life. Trust that everything is unfolding in the right and perfect order for all involved, with the perfect timing and for the ideal outcome.

Let life run its course. Have patience, let go of control, take appropriate action and trust. Let go of the old and allow for the new. Trust that whatever is ending is because it is time. Open to the new beginnings that are coming your way. Believe in yourself and believe in life. It's going to happen anyway so make it easier and lose the struggle. It doesn't have to be so hard!!

Julie Farha is an intuitive, personal coach, speaker and author of Exploring Your Potential; Who am I and what am I doing here? She holds interactive seminars and is available for private sessions and speaking engagements. Julie@JulieFarha.com, www.JulieFarha.com 480-998-1447

About Julie Farha
Julie Farha is an intuitive, personal coach, speaker and author of Exploring Your Potential; Who am I and what am I doing here? She holds interactive seminars and is available for private sessions and speaking engagements. Julie@JulieFarha.com, www.JulieFarha.com 480-998-1447

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2010-03-06T20:57:00.003+05:30

How Big Does Your Dream Need to Be?

by Joyce Shafer

Many individuals don't go after their dream because they don't think they can, should, it's too small, or they don't know what it is. Are any of these holding you back?

Two inspirational videos were emailed to me: one about a dog named Ricochet and one about Rudy Ruettiger, for whom the popular movie Rudy is about. The links are available on the Resources page of my Website, and that link is in my bio. Both are worth a watch, especially if you feel life purpose- or dream-challenged.

What can you learn from a dog?

Ricochet was easy to train, and trained she was to assist a disabled person. There was just one problem: her nature was to chase birds, which meant she could never be trusted not to dash off. Her disappointed trainer decided to focus on what Ricochet COULD do. She also decided to let go of who she wanted Ricochet to be and let her BE who she is. Ricochet wasn't able to help one individual, as originally planned; she helps thousands and inspires as many. Her life purpose turned out to be something other than was planned for her. Granted, Ricochet didn't have a dream, but the message of her experience and outcome serves and inspires anyone who struggles to flourish as their authentic selves.

Then there's Rudy.

Rudy had the power of a dream. Many might have considered his dream too small or insignificant; or, as in the minds of some he met along the way, "not based in reality." We're encouraged to dream big and be realistic, right?

Akin to the outcome for Ricochet, Rudy's dream was fulfilled; but the outcome did and continues to this day, to inspire millions. This was never a result Rudy had in mind or imagined; which only goes to show . . .

We can never anticipate how large a ripple going for and achieving our dream, no matter its size, will create. Nor should that necessarily be our primary focus.

Dream Big: that is probably exactly what some need to hear. Others may be better served by

Dream Your Authentic Dream. You want to watch not to let the opinions and judgments of others stifle who you are and what you are passionate about experiencing in your life.

Do you know what your dream is?

When I ask someone, "What is your dream?" and they answer, "I don't know," my next question is, "If you did know, what might it be?" They think maybe I wasn't paying attention to what they just said; and then, they find they do have an answer. It's really a matter of asking a better question or asking a question differently.

We're conditioned and continue to be so, to consider any dream or goal that isn't BIG, as unworthy. If this "or any reason" is an issue for you, take a look at the two-part Rudy video and see if you still feel that way about your dream.

A few don'ts . . .
* Don't let anyone persuade you from your dream or passionate commitment, or allow anything to stand in your way.

* Don't believe you have to have only one dream or one purpose in life.

* Don't believe you must do what you're really good at (or trained to do) if you don't absolutely love it.

* Don't believe you can't do something you love unless you're an expert or master; do it, keep doing it, and you'll reach that level.

* Don't believe you must dream big if it stresses you, stops you, or throws you off course; follow what you have heart and mind alignment about.

* Don't believe you can't start until everything, including you, is "perfect " what a waste of vitality and time!

* Don't worry about the size of the "ripple" you'll create in the world; there's no way you can know what the ultimate ripple will be. Just enjoy creating it and let it go and grow where it does.

Ricochet was allowed to be herself and make a huge difference. Rudy didn't let anything or anyone stop him; and his passionate commitment affected others so deeply, he found he had just the assistance he needed, when it was needed.

If your dream, your nature, your passionate commitment to your chosen life experience inspires even one person, "but most importantly fulfills you" isn't it worth it?

If you'd like to reprint this article, you can. Just use my bio as a complete statement.

About Joyce Shafer
Success = Better Questions to Get Better Answers. Is it time to learn how to more effortlessly have desired experiences in life and business? Let Reinvent Yourself: Refuse to Settle for Less in Life and Business coaching program or e-book show you how. You Are More! Empowerment Coach Joyce Shafer, author of I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, but I Have Something to Say (jls1422@yahoo.com). Details about the program, her books and e-books, and current free weekly newsletter at http://stateofappreciation.webs.com

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