by Robert Stuberg
Without a doubt, the cornerstone of any well-conceived destiny is happiness. It's the one thing that everyone wants, and it's available in countless forms, and yet, relatively few people would actually claim to be happy most of the time. Why is this, when anyone can have happiness in a moment, just by choosing it?
Believe it or not, part of the blame might rest with Thomas Jefferson, who did us all a disservice when he wrote in the Declaration of Independence that one of our "inalienable rights" should be "the pursuit of happiness." Of course, I'd like everyone to be happy, but it's the words "the pursuit of" that are causing trouble.
Too many of us seem to take these words literally. It somehow reminds me of greyhounds in pursuit of the mechanical rabbit. We're constantly seeking -- pursuing -- happiness out there -- somewhere, anywhere -- in the form of some material reward or a new gratification of the senses. It's a mindset that dictates that happiness can be derived only from sources outside of ourselves.
And that mindset is nicely accommodated by a consumer marketplace where advertisers encourage the idea that happiness is for sale. Happiness is a new car, living in the right neighborhood, using the right toothpaste, or drinking the right soft drink. Ultimately, the emphasis in this marketing culture is on what we don't have. The whole point is to make us feel unhappy enough to buy a product we think will make us happy.
And it works.
In our quest for happiness, we seem ready to go to any length, spend any amount to get it. The problem is, like the endless pursuit of it, trying to buy happiness is an exercise in futility. It brings on a vicious cycle, where the things we buy may seem glamorous and thrilling to us for a little while, but soon they are tiresome and boring, and only a newer, bigger, grander version of the same thing will suffice.
Here's a story from my life that reminded me where happiness ought to begin. It involves how I used to commute back and forth to work along a road that was so busy that I normally paid no attention to the scenery along the way. One day, however, probably because the traffic was slower than usual, I happened to notice a large boulder -- at least four feet high -- that had been placed as the centerpiece of a garden in front of one of the houses along the road.
The boulder had a utilitarian as well as ornamental purpose. Perhaps because it was difficult to read house numbers on this fast-moving highway, the owners had prominently painted their house number on the boulder. There it was, in bright green letters over a foot high: the number 3001. I could see that there were some words printed under the numbers, but the traffic was moving again and I had to go on before I could read them.
The next time I came that way, though, I made a point of slowing down long enough to read what the words under the numbers said, and that simple action became one of the most rewarding experiences of my life! There, under the number 3001, were the words "reasons to be happy." Three thousand and one reasons to be happy.
I admit I was a little skeptical about this sentiment. It happens that I was going through a difficult time in my life just then and was feeling more than a little bit sorry for myself. The truth is, I had just about forgotten what it was like to be happy, let alone how to go about finding happiness. So my first reaction was that I might have trouble coming up with even three reasons to be happy, let alone 3001!
But those words got a grip on me and wouldn't let go. At the next traffic light, on a lark, I decided to see how many reasons to be happy I could think of before the light turned green. To my amazement, once I got started, the reasons kept coming and coming, not only after the light turned green, but on through the remaining half hour of my commute. I doubt that I came up with 3001, but if my trip had been any longer I might have!
I couldn't believe it. One minute I'd been completely preoccupied with my problems, and in the next few minutes I was overflowing with reasons I could be happy. It became a kind of uplifting game for me after that. Every time I passed that house, I looked for those words on the rock and started thinking of reasons to be happy. Never once did I run out of reasons before finishing my commute. After a while, I didn't need to be prompted by the words on the rock. I simply made this a game I played whenever I got in the car and drove anywhere.
With the help of that sign on the rock, I had discovered the healing power of gratitude. And realizing how much I had to be thankful for and to be happy about gave me the impetus I needed to sort out my problems and get on with my life. I find this little game a tremendous help in keeping my outlook positive and in keeping me from losing perspective on the challenges I face. I've found it interesting that I have yet to run out of reasons, and that's probably because I keep discovering new ones.
The most compelling lesson I received from this experience was where to look for happiness. I had forgotten that happiness was not something that comes from the outside. You can't hunt happiness down. And yet, happiness is never far away.
One of life's great secrets is that you can experience true happiness at any moment in time by simply focusing on what you already have that you are grateful for.
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