The Art of Communicating

by Robert Stuberg

It's interesting how quickly we become accustomed to, and even take for granted, the amazing new developments in communications available in the world today. With the ability now to contact people on the other side of the world right at our finger tips, we tend to forget how recently and how rapidly this technology has come into our lives. Consider the fact that through most of human history, up to the time of Thomas Jefferson (who, incidentally, never saw a railroad train), communications were limited to the speed of horses. To say that we have come a long way since then, especially in the last 30 years, is an understatement. And we must keep in mind that the sudden emergence of such innovations in instantaneous communications as satellites, cell phones, email and the internet, to name a few, is simply the revolutionary beginning of what is likely to come.

What perhaps is less clear is how well we are succeeding with the human factor in communications. I think it's fair to ask are we giving as much attention to the quality of our communications to one another as we do to the dazzling means of communicating at our disposal? Are we as adept today, for instance, in communicating ideas with a comparable level of civility as were the artful letter writers of Jefferson's day? How well we communicate with one another on a person-to-person basis, writing, speaking and listening, is as important today as it was 200 years ago. The success of all human relationships depends on the quality of our interpersonal communications.

We can break down any communication into three parts: One is "The Sender," two is "The Message," and three is "The Receiver." Each component is important and a failure in any one of them causes a breakdown in the communication. For example, the Sender's sensitivity to the needs of the Receiver is critical. A garbled or mis-stated Message may be worse than no message at all. And of course, a Receiver who doesn't listen might as well not be there at all.
We know, of course, how breakdowns in communications can have disastrous consequences. Money, friendships, jobs, even marriages are frequently lost because of poor communications between individuals. Some historians believe that World War I erupted essentially because of a failure in communications between the major European powers.

None of us, we hope, will ever be in a position to start a war, but we all can strive to keep our own communication channels open and free from the interference of insensitivity and rancor. If we constantly work at maintaining the integrity of those three components of communications, we'll have a much better chance of getting our own thoughts across and understanding what the other person has to say whether it's in emails, faxes or every day conversations.

Above all, our communications should be forthcoming, honest, and as clear as possible. When we combine these attributes with a genuine interest in those we are communicating with, we will truly achieve the key to effective communication and stronger interpersonal relations with or without the technology of the future.


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