Overcoming Adversity

by Robert Stuberg

I was poking around my bookshelf the other day and came across an interesting observation by the stoic philosopher Epictetus. He said: "Adversity introduces a person to himself." And I thought, how true this is. In times of stress, people discover things about themselves they never knew before.

The catch to this, I decided, is that quite often what we learn about ourselves in tough situations is not very flattering. What we're liable to find is that the person who emerges is nervous, confused or scared -- or all of the above. What we desperately want and need in times like that is a way to gain control of our emotions. We need composure to pull us through the crisis. It's a form of courage, I suppose. Hemingway called it "grace under pressure."

This lesson was dramatically brought home to me a while back in a challenging program of outdoor physical exercises designed to teach basic life lessons and personal resourcefulness. One memorable exercise involved traversing with a partner on high wires 50 feet off the ground. It was the kind of experience designed to get your attention, even with a safety harness to prevent falling!

I didn't have to go first so I carefully observed other participants taking their turns. I saw how the bravado and good humor they displayed on the ground moments before turned to fearful hesitation once they actually started across the wires. I saw strong men quail and blanch at the sight of the earth suddenly so far below them. In retrospect, I realized they were being introduced to themselves, selves they'd never known before.

I found that opportunity to observe instructive. I would benefit by their experiences, I decided, and be mentally prepared for the test. I knew what to expect, therefore, it would not phase me. I would set an example for my peers. I would be steady as a rock. Watch me, I thought.

I then climbed the 50-foot ladder to the small platform. I looked at the ground so far below and contemplated the wires stretching before me. I smiled nervously at my partner. My muscles tensed-up and I stopped breathing. 50 feet down was a lot more than it looked from the ground up! And when I placed my foot on the wire and it moved, my heart started racing and my knees turned to jelly. Yep, just as I said -- steady as a rock!

Fortunately, a trainer watching closely saw I was losing it and yelled, "Robert, just relax. Remember, you paid for this course to have fun!" Well, his comment made me laugh and as I laughed, my tension and fear disappeared. I suddenly wasn't concerned that we were 50 feet in the air and my partner and I then quickly crossed the wires to the other side.

That was my opportunity to become acquainted with a part of myself I hadn't met before. It forcefully taught me how stress can cause a complete reversal of attitude and resolve in even the best intentioned, notably, myself. But then I also learned that it is possible to recover one's composure under duress. That recovery requires technique, but it is technique that can be learned by anyone.

This is the simple secret the trainer taught me that day. It's just a two-step technique for maintaining poise in the face of all kinds of adversity and I'm pleased to pass it along to you now. Try this the next time you find yourself in a tight spot: (1) take a deep breath (it's never a good idea to stop breathing), and (2) just mentally say to yourself "relax." Now, this may sound too simple, but trust me, it works.

I once thought that people who are cool and calm under pressure were born that way, but that isn't so. Those who handle adversity well have mastered this technique. They don't let situations control them, they breathe deeply and relax to maintain their composure, then meet the challenge head on.

Incidentally, Napoleon Hill once said, "Every adversity carries with it the seed of an equivalent or greater benefit." I suggest that you keep a mindset that every adversity brings you a benefit of some kind. When you do, you'll find yourself just that much more prepared to handle those high wire situations in your life.

Oh yes, there is one more thing: Never look down!
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