Are You Inner-Directed? And Why It Matters To Know

by Sarah Dolliver

The term "inner-directed" is likely new to you. It is the behavioral term I'm pioneering that unites "those who focus inward to restore." It refers to the common behaviors of introverts and highly sensitive people (HSPs) and how they relate to the world. Why it matters that you know whether you are (or someone you know is) inner-directed is because it impacts how you deal with the world and the choices you make each day.

You don't need psychological or social labels to define you, especially when they stop you from naturally being who you are. Labels, like introvert, sensitive, quiet, shy or withdrawn, attempt to describe how others experience you. They do not relate to who you are. They can limit you because the tendency is to live to the limits of the label and only go that far. In addition, there is the stigma that can accompany any label, which causes you to feel shame. Any way you look at it, labels confine all you truly are.

What is important to realize is that there is so much more to you than any label can include. Inner-directed individuals are different and that is good. They act differently to create their own comfort level in situations. They feel differently about what happens. And it's exactly those differences that bring richness and texture to our world and events.

For instance, inner-directed individuals who adopt a slow, steady pace perform best while doing one thing. That can be contradictory in our fast-paced, "out there" world that demands more and more get done each day. I've repeatedly seen inner-directed individuals who embrace their best tempo out-perform those who use speed and multi-tasking.

Another common behavior is spending time alone. For inner-directed individuals, this is time to process and regroup, while part of an essential practice to know what one thinks or how one feels. Others may easily scorn such actions as "anti-social" and miss the whole point.

It matters to know if you are inner-directed because:

* You stop debilitating comparisons and start to see yourself for all the fabulous qualities you hold. Society begs us all to be alike. When it compromises your true nature, being like others is not worth it.

* You give yourself permission to take care of yourself in the way that's best for you. You allow into your routine what nurtures you and naturally put other things aside.

* You stop copying others. Assimilation calls on us to act like others. Yet, when you replicate behaviors from others who are not like you, you feel awkward and potentially can be embarrassed. When you learn to identify others like yourself and watch them, your success rate improves.

* You stop being who you are not and start being who you are at your core. You feel the release of pressure to be inauthentic and simultaneously create an avenue to experience your great gifts, talents and strengths.

* You move to experiencing freedom and choice in every area of life. What more could you want?

Being inner-directed is a wonderful life. [I know because I am.] Still, many struggle with it because they see it from society's angle - that different is not good. Come join the transformation that leaves your best qualities shining.


About Sarah Dolliver
Sarah Dolliver is the founder of InnerVantage, the online community for inner-directed individuals, defined as those who focus inward to restore.
Strongly introverted and highly sensitive (HSP), Sarah has been self-employed since 1992, owning her own consulting business before transitioning into the personal development field in 2001. Since then, she has taken on and thrived on large scope projects with confidence, such as Project Manager for ICF accreditation, and as International Study Group Director for CoachVille.

An accomplished trainer, writer, speaker, personal development specialist and an expert on the inner-directed individual. Sarah engages you with her warm, supportive and intuitive style that is strongly grounded in practical, identifiable outcomes.

Sarah is a Coach U CTP Graduate (2003) and also graduated from CoachVille's Graduate School of Coaching. She also holds a BS in Management from Bentley College in Waltham, MA.
Outside of work, she enjoys hiking, yoga, playing backgammon, a wide variety of music, cats of all sizes and healthful cooking. And she always seems to have her nose in more than one book at a time, somehow keeping everything straight!
Visit Sarah online at www.InnerVantage.com.


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