Cock-a-Doodle-Do

by Marc Johnson

When I sit down to write one of my 'Ramblings', a sense of unworthiness most times engulfs me. Who am I to be spouting all this positive stuff? You see I know me better than anyone, and sometimes it just ain't pretty. Then I find myself at the keyboard, once again, attempting to put my rambling thoughts on paper.

I have hidden, or at least think I have, the depth of my feelings of lack. There were times in my life when I would find it hard to address someone by their first name if it was the same as mine. Man could a shrink have a hay day with that one. So you see these 'meanderings' really put me on the spot, in the spot light. That can be a pretty hot and revealing locale. It is much easier to live life in the shadows, just off stage, but we don't grow much in the dark.

So here I am again, hat in hand. I believe there is a difference between self-esteem and self-worth. To me self esteem is our belief in our ability to perform a certain task, that we are intelligent, or that we are attractive. Get the idea? Self worth is coming to the place where we sincerely like ourselves, and where we believe we are good people who deserve love. Now I said good not perfect. That's not happenin'. We're not talking about bragging or becoming egotistical, rather a healthy sense of worth.

At times it may seem like things are actually getting worse on our journey. That may be a good sign. "Just when our lives are starting to get better, we may feel things are getting worse, because for the first time we see clearly what needs to be done." -Dan MillmanDan goes on to say that the irony of self worth is that those who are sincerely trying to improve may feel less worthy because of the high standards to which they hold themselves. Those with lower standards, less vision or sensitivity don't have to measure up to much. They may even seem to manifest more self-esteem.

Those on the journey will recognize their faults and short comings and may have difficulty in understanding it is an important part of their growth.

So when it seems the harder you try the worse it gets, If you see more wrong now than you did last week, Hang in there baby. Great things may be just over this next hill. Who knows what magnificent view may be waiting for you, just around the corner. 'It's always darkest just before the dawn.' Is that a rooster I hear?

About Marc Johnson
By the age of 14 Marc had been hospitalized 27 times. Through the positive attitudes of his parents and many prayers he went on to become a rodeo clown and bullfighter. He now resides in the midwest and is a locomotive engineer for one of the nations premier railroads."We become what we think about. My life has proved that, both good and not so good. It is my desire to help others improve the quality of their lives, to achieve their personal dreams, with my stories and 'Ramblings'. Together we can each experience true harmony in our lives. I am a work in progress, come along with me on this exciting journey we call life. It is possible."

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